The Long Road Home III - Paradise Lost
by Kira 47
Summary: Captain Janeway discovers that finding a way home is only the beginning.
1. Kesseret Prime

DISCLAIMER:   You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is the third part of my "The Long Road Home" trilogy.  You should probably read the first parts, "Separations" and "Awakenings" if you want to be able to follow along.  

SUMMARY: Shore leave on the Kesseret homeworld leads to an astonishing discovery that could change everything for the crew of Voyager.

THE LONG ROAD HOME

PARADISE LOST

CHAPTER ONE: KESSERET PRIME

Captain Janeway and Seven of Nine walked together down the hallway, heading for the holodeck.  Tom and B'Elanna were meeting them there, and Chakotay and Mark were walking a few steps ahead of them.  The Captain was trying to explain to Seven the appeal of horseback riding, since that was what they were doing before dinner. 

"It's really quite fun, once you get the hang of it.  I can remember having my share of black and blue patches after my first attempts.  I tried to jump a high fence on one of my first tries.  The horse went over.  I didn't." 

"And yet you continued the activity," said Seven. 

"Of course – I got right back on and jumped it again, only this time I made it." 

"A curious pastime.  I fail to see the appeal." 

"Oh, believe me – when you're galloping across an open field, you'll understand.  If it's not to your liking, you should try some of the other recreational programs.  I hear Tom's got a skiing program that's fantastic."

"I do not know how to…ski," admitted Seven. 

The Captain smiled as a new thought occurred to her.  "Or sailing – one of my favorite programs is sailing on Lake George, on Earth." 

Mark overheard them and spoke to Seven over his shoulder.  "I used to sail in San Francisco Bay whenever I got the chance.  I could take you out sometime and show you how." 

The Captain thought she saw the corners of Seven's mouth curl up in a smile. 

"Perhaps." 

The Captain was about to continue extolling the virtues of a moonlight sail, but when she looked at Seven she stopped, concerned.  The ex-drone had one hand against the wall to steady herself, and her other hand was pressed to her head. 

"Seven?  What is it?" 

"I believe my cortical implant is…malfunctioning," said Seven weakly, trying to suppress the intense feeling of vertigo that was coming over her.  There was a high-pitched noise in her ears, and as it became louder she gasped. 

"Let's get you to Sickbay," said the Captain, taking her arm. 

"That will not be necessary…" began Seven, but her voice trailed off as she said it, and she swayed on her feet before she collapsed on the floor.  Mark and Chakotay heard her hit the ground and turned around.

"Janeway to the Doctor," said the Captain as she knelt beside Seven.  "Medical emergency.  Beam Seven directly to Sickbay." 

_Acknowledged, said the Doctor, and Seven disappeared in a transporter beam as Mark and Chakotay looked on in concern. _

"Come on," said the Captain, getting off the floor.  She started down the hallway for the nearest turbolift, and the two men followed her.

*    *    *

"Her cortical node began to shut down," said the Doctor as he ran a medical tricorder over Seven's unconscious form in Sickbay.  Captain Janeway, Chakotay, and Commander Walker were all gathered at the foot of the bed. 

"She went into neural shock," he continued.  "I managed to stabilize the implant before any permanent damage was done." 

"Any idea what caused it?" asked the Captain. 

"I'm running a diagnostic on it, so we should know in a few hours.  What was she doing when this happened?" 

"We were just…talking, on our way to the holodeck.  She seemed to be in pain, and then she just collapsed." 

"Can you wake her?" asked Mark. 

"Yes, but I wouldn't recommend it.  Until I know what destabilized her cortical node, I'd prefer to keep her sedated." 

The Captain nodded and put her hand on Mark's arm reassuringly.  "Keep me informed, Doctor." 

*    *    *

Seven's eyes fluttered open and she saw the concerned face of the Doctor above her.  She pushed herself into a sitting position. 

"How long have I been unconscious?" 

"About two hours.  You collapsed in the corridor when your cortical implant began to shut down.  Can you tell me what you were doing when you first realized something was wrong?" 

"I was discussing sailing with Captain Janeway and Commander Walker." 

"What were you thinking at the time?" 

"What was I thinking?" she repeated skeptically with a raised eyebrow.  He nodded at her.  She shifted uncomfortably on the bed and avoided his gaze. 

"Commander Walker offered to teach me to sail.  I was thinking that it would be a…pleasurable outing."

"You would enjoy his company," said the Doctor, understanding what Seven was implying but unwilling to admit. 

She nodded.  "He is an…admirable individual.  I find his company stimulating."  She could see the Doctor was a little disappointed but extremely interested, but she was very wary of this line of questioning. 

"I fail to see how this is relevant to the malfunction of my cortical node." 

The Doctor's face became grim.  "I'm afraid it wasn't a malfunction."  He showed her a schematic on the PADD he was holding.  "It's some kind of Borg fail-safe device that's designed to shut down the higher brain functions of any drone who becomes …emotionally stimulated." 

The only reaction that Seven showed outwardly was a slight parting of her lips and some tension in her shoulders as she examined the data.  "I am no longer a drone," she observed. 

"I'm afraid that doesn't matter.  The mechanism is a part of your cortical node." 

"Can it be deactivated?" she asked, feeling something that she could only describe as a pang of regret. 

"I'm not sure," he admitted.  "I'll have to study it further and run a few more scans.  It's possible that I can re-configure the micro-circuitry, but it would most likely be a difficult process." 

Seven stiffened and threw her feet over the edge of the bed.  "That won't be necessary, Doctor." 

"Seven!  If you don't let me try, you'll be in danger of going into neural shock again if you experience any strong emotions." 

"Then I will have to be careful not to do so," she said, standing up and trying to push past him. 

He stepped into her way.  "I thought you wanted to regain your humanity.  You can hardly do that if you repress your feelings." 

"I will adapt," she said, but her voice lacked the resolve that it usually had.  She tried to move past him again, but once more he blocked her path. 

"Do I require further medical attention?" she asked, annoyed, staring him down. 

After a moment, he relented and stepped aside.  "No.  But I urge you to reconsider." 

She didn't respond as she moved towards the doors, but she stopped and turned around. 

"I trust you will respect Doctor-patient confidentiality." 

"Of course," he said reluctantly.  She nodded with approval, then pivoted and left Sickbay.

*    *    *

The Captain looked around the conference room table at her senior staff at their morning briefing.  They were due to arrive at Kesseret Prime in a couple of hours, and she was dealing with some last minute business before their arrival. 

"Fortunately, they seem willing to supply us with whatever they can provide.  B'Elanna, I want you and the Doctor to put together a list of the materials and supplies we need, as well as what we would be willing to trade.  Neelix, you'll be in charge or restocking our food supply.  Feel free to get whatever you think you need to sustain us for at least another month, until we clear the disputed space." 

"Yes, Captain." 

"Ambassador Ilin has also given me permission to issue a general shore leave to all the crew."  There were smiles all around the table at this news, and only Tuvok and Seven remained impartial – it had been months since any of the crew had been off the ship, and for many of the junior officers it had been even longer.

"I don't want to waste too much time here, so I thought three days should be enough.  Unless there are any objections?" 

B'Elanna nodded.  "Actually, Captain, the repairs to the ship will take at least that long.  If any of my people are going to get a chance to go planetside we'll have to stick around a little longer than that." 

"It has been a while since we had shore leave…How does a week sound?" 

B'Elanna seemed satisfied, and the grins around the table grew even wider. 

"You'll get to give Miral her first taste of fresh air," said Chakotay to Tom and B'Elanna across from him.

"That's right," said Tom, looking at his wife.  "I hadn't thought of that – she's never been off the ship yet."

"Anything else?" asked the Captain.  When nobody volunteered anything, she nodded. "All right, then.  Tom, when we reach the planet, take us into a high orbit." 

The crew filed out, and Chakotay stayed behind.  He always liked talking to Kathryn after a morning meeting that had gone well, because she was usually relaxed and in a good mood.  Before she turned her attention to him, she motioned for Seven to stay behind and walked over to her as she stood at attention with her hands clasped behind her back. 

She was wearing her uniform, but she didn't seem nearly as comfortable as she had when she had first worn it.  She had started to wear her hear down, pulled into a ponytail behind her head, but today it was pulled back up in her usual severe fashion.

"How are you feeling, Seven?" 

"Fine, thank you, Captain." 

"Did the Doctor find out what was wrong?" 

Seven's eyes darted to the floor momentarily before she looked back up at the Captain.  "It was a…malfunction.  I do not believe it will happen again." 

The Captain nodded, and Seven turned and left the conference room.  She watched her leave with concern, then turned to Chakotay. 

"Something's not right," she said, looking back at the door where Seven had left.  "Maybe I should have a word with the Doctor." 

She sighed, turning to look at him.  "Or maybe it's none of my business." 

"If that happens while she's on duty it's your business," he said.  "Besides, she's part of the crew.  It's natural you should be concerned about her." 

She nodded and headed for the door, with him behind her.  He could see that she was troubled by Seven's evasive behavior, so he changed the subject. 

"I hope you're planning on joining the rest of us on the planet." 

"I should be on Voyager to oversee the repairs and the supplies," she said with a wave of her hand as they crossed the bridge.  She stopped and turned around to face him with an amused expression on her face.  "Besides, I'm sure no matter what I tell you you'll drag me down there anyways." 

He grinned as they took their seats.  Leaning over, he spoke in a quiet voice that he hoped wouldn't carry as far as the helm.  "Will I really have to drag you?" 

She allowed a small smile to creep onto her face. "Probably not." 

"Besides," he said, lowering his voice even further.  "Are you sure you really want to be around the ship when the crew finds out that I gave up my quarters?" 

She chucked.  "On second thought, maybe I could spare a couple of hours."

*    *    *

_Captain's Log, Stardate 55051.3  After three days, our repairs are almost complete, although they took us longer than expected when Lieutenant Torres discovered micro-fractures in one of the antimatter injectors.  We've managed to obtain most of the supplies we need, and the crew has been enjoying their long-awaited shore leave._

The Captain looked over B'Elanna's shoulder at the console in front of the warp core. 

"Pressure?" 

"2500 kilopascals." 

"Plasma flow?" 

"Still unstable." 

She slapped the console with the flat of her hand.  "Damn." 

"I don't understand," said B'Elanna.  "Once we repaired those micro-fractures, the core should have been able to start up right away.  Let's have another look at the warp plasma manifold." She moved around to stand on the other side of the Captain. 

"B'Elanna, you've been at this for days.  You haven't even had a chance to take Miral down to the surface yet, have you?" 

"No," admitted the chief engineer. 

"Why don't you take a break.  I'll stay here and work on it with Lieutenant Carey and Ensign Vorik." 

B'Elanna smirked.  "You haven't been to the surface yet either, have you Captain?" 

"No," she said absentmindedly, concentrating on her work. 

"Maybe you should take a break as well." 

The Captain ignored her as she continued trying to track down the problem.  She looked up when another voice entered their conversation. 

"That's just what I came down to tell her." 

She saw Chakotay coming towards her from the entrance to Engineering.  He came to stand next to her, and looked over her shoulder at what she was working on.  He leaned forward and said quietly, "I thought you said I wouldn't have to drag you down to the surface." 

"We're still having problems with the core," she said dismissively.  "We can't figure out what's wrong."

"Then maybe you should get a fresh perspective.  Let somebody else have a look and come down with me to the surface for a few hours." 

She wavered for a moment, but then continued working.  "If we don't find the problem, we're going to be here a lot longer than a week." 

"Harry says they've got an outdoor marketplace on the northern continent," he said.  "And I hear there's a really nice waterfall on one of the southern coasts."  He lowered his voice even further.  "When was the last time you watched a sunrise in a binary system?" 

He saw a smile tug at the corners of her mouth, and he was about to entice her even further when he glanced up and saw B'Elanna eyeing them with undisguised amusement.  He stepped back a little and cleared his throat self-consciously.  B'Elanna saw Tom enter Engineering with Miral in his arms and she walked over to meet him near the door, leaving Chakotay to continue convincing the Captain to take a break. 

"Just for a couple of hours," he pressed.  Seeing she was still reluctant, he added, "I'm going to distribute the new assignments for quarters to everyone's database before I head for the surface.  You might want to be down there too when the crew notices." 

She gave in and called Lieutenant Carey, who had already had his shore leave, over to her station and told him to continue tracking down the problem. 

B'Elanna and Tom watched her prepare to leave. 

"I thought for sure they would have done it by now," said Tom.  "But I still think they're going to move in together.  Why else would Chakotay wait this long to finalize the crew's living arrangements?" 

"Maybe we should find out," said B'Elanna with a mischievous grin as the pair moved towards them.  "Heading down to the surface, Captain?" 

She nodded. "I guess I do need a break." 

"The whole crew needs a break," added Chakotay. 

Tom saw his opening.  "Speaking of the crew," he said innocently,  "When are you going to rearrange the quarters?" 

Both he and B'Elanna saw Chakotay and the Captain share what was intended to be a covert glance, and they looked distinctly uncomfortable. 

"Right now," said Chakotay.  "I'm going to distribute it before I go to the surface.  Why?  I already told you that you and B'Elanna will be keeping your quarters." 

"I know," said Tom.  "I was just wondering because…well, I mean…it's been nearly a month since we rescued the crew from the Yukon.  They've been looking forward to some kind of permanent arrangement."

Chakotay paused and looked again at Kathryn before he replied.  "Well, they've got it." 

"Good," said Tom, sighing with relief for more reasons than his commanding officers could possibly know.

"Why are you so interested?" asked Chakotay suspiciously. 

Tom glanced at B'Elanna. "Uh…no particular reason." 

Kathryn sighed and closed her eyes.  "Tom?  How many of the crew know?" 

"Ma'am?" he said, caught off guard.  Okay, so maybe not more reasons than they could possibly know.

She opened her eyes and looked at him with a sparkle in her eye.  "Don't be ridiculous.  I can be just as observant as the pair of you.  How many people have you told?" 

B'Elanna chuckled and looked down at her feet.  "Harry, Megan Delaney, and Seven, but Harry and Megan don't believe us.  We bet Harry an entire day on the holodeck against him babysitting Miral for a day that we were right." 

"That's a pretty big gamble," said Chakotay, glancing at Kathryn.  He knew immediately by the look on her face that she was about to take the first leap, and he looked down at the floor to conceal his smile. 

She stared at her two officers, and they shifted under her gaze, embarrassed that they were betting about her personal life. 

"An entire day on the holodeck, hmm?  I hope you enjoy it." 

She watched their shocked reactions with amusement, and she and Chakotay started towards the door, leaving Tom and B'Elanna looking after them in amazement.  They passed Seven of Nine, who was working at a console along the wall. 

"Are you going down to the surface, Seven?" asked the Captain as they passed. 

"I am running a sensor analysis of the minefield," she said, not stopping her work. 

"You've been working nonstop for four days," said Chakotay.  "When was the last time you regenerated?"

"47 hours ago," replied Seven, "But that is irrelevant.  It is possible we may encounter another minefield and we require more sensor data." 

"Take a break, Seven," said the Captain. "Then go and regenerate for a few hours." 

"Why don't you join us for a picnic?" suggested Chakotay. 

Seven stopped working for a moment and seemed to consider it.  The Captain stepped up to the console that Seven was working on and leaned back against it with her arms crossed.  Seven glanced up, and the Captain leaned sideways towards her. 

"I bet Commander Walker would be glad to join you," she said with a small smile. 

She saw something flash across Seven's eyes that resembled panic, but it was quickly gone, and Seven backed away from the console.  "I must continue my work," she said stiffly, and walked out the door to Engineering. 

The Captain was still leaning on the console, shocked by her sudden cold reaction.  She watched her go with concern before she slowly stood up and uncrossed her arms. 

"Come on," said Chakotay, taking her elbow and walking with her out the door. 

"Maybe we'll see you on the planet," B'Elanna called after them.  After they were out of hearing range, she muttered, "After we arrange a babysitter for our day on the holodeck." 

*    *    *

When the bright light of the transporter beam cleared, Kathryn looked around but couldn't make out any of her surroundings in the dark.  "Some view," she said with a chuckle. 

"The first sun won't come up for another twenty minutes," he told her.  "The atmosphere's so thick that it won't get light until about a minute before the first sun rises."

She could hear water nearby, and as her eyes adjusted to the dim light she could see intermittent flashes of light reflecting off water. 

"The waterfall must be over there," she said, pointing.  "It feels like we're in a field of some sort." 

They sat down in the long grass and waited for the suns to rise. 

Kathryn smiled as she leaned back and looked up at the sky.  There were no clouds, so she could clearly see the sky above them filled with stars. 

"What?" he said, running his fingers over the smile on her lips. 

"The stars…I can't remember when the last time I just sat back and enjoyed them.  They look so peaceful from down here – it's breathtaking." 

She turned towards him and could see him grinning even in the dark. 

"What is it?" 

He reached over and brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear.  "I don't get to see this side of you very often." 

"What side is that?" 

"Happy.  Relaxed.  Able to enjoy the moment." 

She sighed and leaned sideways against him.  "I don't do that very much, do I." 

"One of the drawbacks of being a Captain." 

She thought for a moment before she reached over and took his hand.  "Promise me something?" 

"Anything." 

She looked up at the stars again.  "Promise me you'll make me stop and enjoy the moment every once in a while." 

"I promise."

*    *    *

"And maybe throw in a couple slices of that pizza from yesterday," Tom instructed Neelix as he packed their picnic basket. 

Neelix complied and rooted around the galley some more.  "What about these?" he asked, pulling a basket filled with red fruit out of a cupboard.  "They're one of the new fruits that Icheb engineered." 

B'Elanna's eyes widened.  "Strawberries!" she exclaimed, and picked one out of the basket to pop it in her mouth.  She closed her eyes as she chewed it.  "Delicious," she said with her mouth full. 

"Throw some of those in too," said Tom.  "And I think that should about do it."  He put in the champagne bottle that he was carrying and closed the basket.  "Thanks, Neelix." 

He and B'Elanna started to leave the mess hall, but when B'Elanna spotted Harry over at a table by himself, she nudged her husband and they headed for the table with demonic grins. 

"Tom," said Harry as they sat down.  "Time's almost up.  When are you going to transfer the holodeck time to my account?" 

"Never," said Tom smugly. 

"I hope you know how to change a diaper," added B'Elanna, bouncing Miral on her knee. 

Harry looked at them like they were slow-witted children.  "Am I missing something?  It's been almost two weeks and you two haven't come up with more than circumstantial evidence." 

Tom looked sideways at B'Elanna.  "Have you looked at the new quarters arrangements?" 

"No," said Harry, looking back at the PADD he was working on.  "I knew I wasn't going to get moved, so I didn't bother.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do so I can spend an entire day on the holodeck." 

"Harry, Harry, Harry," said Tom, shaking his head, "You're not listening.  Have a look at the new living arrangements.  I think you'll find them interesting." 

"Any particular reason?" 

"I hear Commander Walker got some new quarters," said B'Elanna nonchalantly. 

"So?" 

"So – he got Chakotay's quarters." 

Harry frowned, puzzled.  "But then where…" He trailed off and his face fell as he saw the smug faces of his two friends.  "You don't mean…"

"Go and see for yourself," said Tom. 

"And Harry?" said B'Elanna as she picked up the picnic basket and prepared to leave, "Come by our quarters around 1400 tomorrow, okay?  We've got the holodeck reserved." 

*    *    *

Kathryn and Chakotay were sitting on a grassy hill watching the two suns climb further away from the horizon, with the sound of cascading water coming from the breathtaking waterfall off to their right.  It was extremely high, and the rocks at the top of the fall divided the torrent of water so there were three separate waterfalls that cascaded down the rocks and into the pool at the bottom.  The sky was a beautiful mixture of pink, red, and orange, and the colors reflected off the waterfall and threw a soft light on the vegetation surrounding it. 

Chakotay was laying on the hill on his back with one arm behind his head, and Kathryn was stretched out perpendicular to him with her head on his chest, watching the last of the sunrise that they had been enjoying.  The pale colors in the sky threw a soft glow on her face, and he reached over to run her fingers softly along her cheek. 

She smiled and rolled over onto her back.  "I'm glad you convinced me to come here," she said.  Her face clouded over.  "I wish we had convinced Seven to take a break as well – I'm starting to get really worried about her.  Is it my imagination or does she seem to be withdrawing from us?" 

"It's not your imagination.  She seems more distant somehow, almost like she was when she first came on board." 

She sat up with her legs folded under her.  "It all started when she collapsed the other day.  Maybe I should see what the Doctor's willing to tell me."  She laughed self-consciously.  "I know – I'm supposed to be relaxing, not worrying about the crew." 

He shrugged and rolled over onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow.  "That's the way you are, Kathryn.  You care about people." 

She reached over and trailed her hand across his face, but pulled it away abruptly when she heard the familiar whine of a transporter beam. 

"Is somebody there?" she called, and she barely managed to conceal a frown at being interrupted when she saw Tom, B'Elanna, and Miral move towards them from the other side of a nearby tree.  She could tell by their surprised expressions that they hadn't meant to find them here. 

"Captain!" said B'Elanna.  "We didn't mean to interrupt…we didn't know anyone else was here." 

"Ensign Wildman told us this was a great spot for a picnic," explained Tom.  "We've got lots of food…care to join us?" 

Kathryn looked at Chakotay and saw him shrug almost imperceptibly, leaving it up to her.  "Sounds wonderful," she said, and her two officers sat down on the grass with their daughter in between them.  Tom pulled the bottle out of the basket. 

"2363 Saint Emillion," he explained as he pulled on the cork.  "I've been saving this for seven years.  It's about time somebody enjoyed it." 

"Just how many bottles do you have stashed away, Lieutenant?" 

"That's classified, ma'am," he said with a straight face. 

She chucked and took a sip of the champagne.  "Not bad," she pronounced. 

"How did Harry take the news that he lost his bet?" asked Chakotay. 

Tom chuckled.  "Not well…although in this case I think he was happy to be proven wrong." 

The Captain smiled at Tom's subtle way of telling her that the crew approved of her relationship with Chakotay, which by now was probably more or less general knowledge.  She leaned back against Chakotay sitting behind her and sighed. 

"It's so peaceful out here," she said wistfully. 

_Seven of Nine to the Captain._

"Or not," Chakotay said with a smile as he took a sip of champagne. 

"Go ahead, Seven." 

_I must speak with you at once._

"Can it wait?" 

_No.  It is urgent._

She sighed.  "I wasn't planning on returning to the ship for another hour or so.  Can we do this over the comm?" 

_No.  I will transport to your location if you would prefer._

"Acknowledged.  Janeway out." She rubbed her forehead.  "It never lasts long, does it?  So much for a peaceful afternoon." 

They were able to enjoy a few more minutes of silence before they were interrupted by the sound of the transporter beam and Seven of Nine appeared close by.  She approached them with quickly with a PADD in her hands. 

"What is it, Seven?" 

"Captain, I have been analyzing our sensor data on the area of space surrounded by the minefield." 

"Seven, this is _shore leave.  I thought I told you to take a break." _

"I noticed some unusual sensor readings that I thought required further analysis." 

"And?" said the Captain impatiently, knowing it was futile to push the point with Seven. 

 "I have made an important discovery.  The 'corridor' that the Kesseret refer to is not simply an area of space.  It's a wormhole." 

"A _wormhole?" repeated the Captain in disbelief, reaching for the PADD that Seven extended to her. _

"Icheb's gravimetric sensor array picked up a neutrino flux which I investigated.  The middle of the minefield appears to contain a class-3 wormhole." 

"Can you tell where it leads?" asked Chakotay, reading the PADD over Kathryn's shoulder. 

"No," said Seven.  "The theta radiation from the mines is occluding our sensors.  It will take time to analyze the telemetry of the wormhole." 

"Could it lead to the Alpha quadrant?" asked Tom. 

"It is possible," she conceded, "But there is not enough evidence to reach that conclusion." 

The Captain jumped up, their quiet picnic forgotten.  "Seven, keep analyzing the data and try to find out where the wormhole leads.  Use whatever resources you need, but I want this kept as quiet as possible.  I don't want knowledge of this to go beyond the senior staff if at all possible." 

"I will require Icheb's assistance in Astrometrics," said Seven. 

"And Lieutenant Adin's a wormhole expert," pointed out B'Elanna.  "We could use her." 

"Fine, but make sure that they understand this is to be kept quiet.  I'd like to keep the crew from yet another disappointment if at all possible.  Chakotay, let's go have a little chat with Ambassador Ilin and see what he can tell us."

*    *    *

"You're trying to deceive us!" blustered the Ambassador, jumping up from behind his desk.  "You assured General Tamal that you had no intentions of trying to steal our corridor, yet now you want information on it!" 

Captain Janeway pinched the bridge of her nose.  They had been trying to get information out of the Ambassador for nearly a half-hour, and it seemed like they were talking in circles. 

"We're not trying to steal the wormhole.  We just want to know if it could get us closer to our home." 

"A diversion!" he insisted. "You want our sensor data so you can use it to take over our corridor!" 

"To what end?" asked Chakotay.  "We're alone out here.  Why would we try to take it from you when you have a fleet of ships protecting it?" 

The Ambassador paused, beginning to see reason. 

"We're almost thirty years away from our home," said the Captain softly.  "But maybe this wormhole could cut months, even years, off our journey." 

He considered her carefully, then nodded.  "You have been completely truthful with us during our brief acquaintance.  I don't see any reason not to trust you now." 

"Thank you," she said sincerely.  "Now, can you tell us where it leads?" 

He shook his head.  "I'm afraid not.  That's classified information." 

"I thought you said you could trust us." 

"It's out of my hands, I'm afraid.  No outsiders are to be given information on the…what did you call it?"

"A wormhole," offered the Captain. 

"On the wormhole," he continued.  "The last ships we have sent through the wormhole have not returned, and we don't know why.  We believe there may be some kind of phenomenon or a dangerous species on the other side, so we're keeping information classified in case it should fall into Brennin hands.  I will allow you to continue your scans, but I'm afraid that's all I can do." 

"Can you at least tell us if it leads to our home or not?" she asked showing him the PADD in her hands.

He nodded reluctantly and she pulled up a map of the galaxy. 

"Here is your planet," she explained, "In the Delta quadrant.  And this is my home planet," she said, indicating Earth's position.  Does the wormhole lead anywhere near here?" 

"No," he said simply. 

She took her PADD back reluctantly, disappointed but not giving up hope. 

"Thank you for your assistance, Ambassador." 

She motioned for Chakotay to follow her.  When they left his office she sighed and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes and putting a hand to her forehead.  She felt Chakotay put his hand on her shoulder. 

"Don't give up yet, Kathryn," he said.  "I have a feeling he's not telling us everything.  Maybe he just lied to get us to leave." 

"My thought exactly." 

"Seven's continuing her scans.  We should wait until we hear from her until we jump to conclusions, whether good or bad." 

She nodded and hit her commbadge.  "Janeway to Voyager.  Two to beam up." 

They materialized in the transporter room, and she saw Harry at the controls. 

"How did it go?" he asked, eagerly coming forward to meet them as they stepped off the pad. 

The Captain shook her head.  "The Ambassador claims that the wormhole doesn't end up anywhere near the Alpha quadrant." 

"He could be lying." 

"Maybe…but don't get your hopes up, Lieutenant.  And I don't want you to mention this to anyone – especially anyone back home.  The last thing I want is to get everyone's hopes up and find out that this thing leads to the Beta quadrant." 

"Yes, ma'am," he said, but the youthful optimism on his face remained. 


	2. The Orders

DISCLAIMER:   You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

SUMMARY: Captain Janeway must decide whether to defy Starfleet Command and risk the safety of the Federation to get her crew home.

THE LONG ROAD HOME

PARADISE LOST

CHAPTER TWO : THE ORDERS

_Captain's Log, Stardate 55053.4  We're continuing our investigation of the Kesseret wormhole, and although my senior staff is optimistic, I find my instincts leading me to believe that the Ambassador was telling the truth.  Nevertheless, we are continuing to examine the sensor readings in an attempt to determine the trajectory of the wormhole._

Captain Janeway entered Astrometrics and walked over to where Seven was working alone at a console.  On the main screen was a wire-frame three-dimensional diagram of the wormhole, and Seven was manipulating the image as she discovered more information. 

"Anything yet?" 

"No," replied Seven. "However, I believe I am close to establishing the initial trajectory of the wormhole.  It will take several more hours to determine the precise location of the other end." 

"It's a start," said the Captain as she examined Seven's countenance carefully.  She put her hands on the console and leaned forward, looking at the screen. 

"I had a conversation with the Doctor this afternoon," she said quietly.  She heard Seven stop working.  "He told me about the 'malfunction' of your cranial implant." 

Seven looked up, furious.  "He had no right to divulge that information." 

"I told him that as your Captain, I had a right to know of anything that could affect your duties.  He said that he wouldn't have told me except that you refused treatment and he was afraid it could happen again.  It could kill you, Seven." 

"That is not for certain," said Seven, and she returned to her work. 

"You've come so far.  What's stopping you now?" 

Seven thought for a moment.  "I have no desire to become…weakened by human emotions." 

"I understand that you're frightened, Seven – "

"I am not _frightened."_

"Oh?  Then why did you refuse to let the Doctor treat you?" 

"I can survive without experiencing emotions," said Seven mechanically. 

"Of course…but that's not the same as _living, Seven." _

The ex-drone turned and faced the Captain. 

"It's natural to be afraid of something you've never experienced." 

"I _have experienced it," said Seven quietly.  "I found it unsettling.  I chose not to experience it again." _

"That's not what you told me after your time in Unimatrix Zero." 

Seven made no reply. 

"It's Mark, isn't it?" the Captain said after a moment.  "You've seen that he has feelings for you." 

"Yes," whispered Seven, looking down at the console. 

"Are those feelings…mutual?" 

Seven closed her eyes.  "I believe so."  She then regained her resolve.  "But I will adapt." 

"Seven."  She looked at the Captain.  "If you let the Doctor perform the procedure…"

"I will become weak," insisted Seven. 

"No, you'll become human." She leaned closer and whispered,  "And you'll adapt."  She took a deep breath. "Seven…in the past, I know I've pushed you when I thought it was in your best interests.  I'm not going to do that this time…but as your friend, I will tell you that I think you owe it to yourself to take this step.  It may be a leap of faith in a sense, but you won't regret it.  I firmly believe that it will be a major turning point for you – for the better. "

She still saw doubt in Seven's expression, and she smiled encouragingly.  She was relieved when she saw Seven return her smile.  They turned away from each other when Chakotay entered. 

"Am I interrupting?" he said when he saw the two women. 

"No," said Seven, in a softer voice than she had been using before her conversation with the Captain. 

Chakotay walked over with a PADD.  "Jarel sent these specifications with me.  She thinks they might enhance the sensors." 

Seven entered a few commands onto the console, and a few seconds later it beeped at her. 

"I have determined the wormhole's transkinetic vector." 

Kathryn glanced at Chakotay and then turned back to Seven. 

"Does it lead to the Alpha Quadrant?" 

"No," said Seven quietly.  She pulled up a diagram of the galaxy on the main screen.  A large section of the Milky Way was highlighted, on the opposite side of the galaxy from the Alpha quadrant.  "I cannot determine the exact location of the other end, but it is at least 70,000 light-years from Earth.  It appears to lead to either the Gamma quadrant, or to the Delta quadrant…near Borg space." 

"That would explain why the Kesseret's ships haven't returned," said the Captain quietly. 

"The analysis will not be complete until 1400 hours tomorrow," said Seven.  "Icheb can monitor it, with your permission, Captain." 

"You're not going to monitor it yourself?" 

Seven paused.  "I am…going to consult with the Doctor." 

"Permission granted.  Keep me informed." 

After she left, Chakotay looked at her with a raised eyebrow.  "Everything all right?" 

"With Seven, anyways," said Kathryn, looking at the galaxy on the screen.  "So much for the quick way home." 

"We'll get there," he said, putting his hands on her shoulders.  "Just maybe not today."

*    *    *

Captain Janeway sat in her chair in the bridge the next day and tried to ignore the dejected faces around her.  It was probably her imagination, since only a handful of people outside the senior staff were aware of their latest disappointment, but to her it seemed like they were all depressed.  The one person whose distress she knew she wasn't imagining was Harry's.  She couldn't get the expression on his face when she had told him the wormhole didn't lead back home out of her mind.  Even Chakotay seemed quieter than usual. 

Unable to stand it anymore, she rose from her chair. 

"I'll be in my ready room." 

Chakotay watched her go with concern, but didn't immediately follow her. 

By the time Kathryn had gotten a cup of coffee and settled down at her desk to get through some status reports, though, her door chimed and she admitted Chakotay.  She ignored him and continued working.

"Have you told Starfleet?" he said quietly, standing in front of her desk. 

"No," she said, not taking her eyes off the screen in front of her.  "I didn't want to get Admiral Paris' hopes up before we had more information.  I'll probably tell him tomorrow.  How's the staff taking it?" 

"Like they always do," he shrugged. 

"Like they always do," she repeated quietly.  "How many times have we gone through this?" 

"Too many.  By now I think most of us are used to it.  How are you holding up?" 

"I don't know.  I didn't really believe that we would get home, but…no matter how much I prepare myself, the disappointment always takes me by surprise."  She got up from her desk and moved to stand in front of it, leaning on it with her hands at her sides gripping the edge of the desk.  "And every time I get to thinking how many more times we're going to go through this." 

"As many as we have to before we get home." 

She sighed and rubbed one of her hands along the side of her face.  "At least this time the rest of the crew was spared the disappointment." 

At that point, the chime to her ready room sounded.  "Come in." 

B'Elanna rushed in, but stopped dead when she saw how close together her commanding officers were standing to each other. 

"Sorry, I…didn't mean to interrupt." 

"What is it, B'Elanna?" 

"Captain, I think you'd better get down to Astrometrics right away.  You too, Chakotay." 

She glanced momentarily at Chakotay.  "Why?" 

"We may have found a way home after all."

*    *    *

Harry, Icheb, and Seven of Nine were in Astrometrics when they arrived. 

Seven had informed the Captain that morning that she had undergone the procedure to deactivate the fail-safe on her cranial node the previous night, and that it had been a success.  The Doctor had been able to refine his procedure so that Seven's recovery had been nearly instantaneous.  After only a few hours of regeneration, she was functioning normally. 

Looking at her, the Captain couldn't see a difference at first, although she did seem to blush when she saw Commander Walker with them.  They had encountered him in the turbolift, and he had accompanied them to Astrometrics. 

"What have you got?" said the Captain as she led the way into Astrometrics. 

The group huddled around the console turned around and made room for her. 

"The wormhole leads to the Gamma quadrant," said Seven. 

"How does that get us home?" she said, puzzled, but then she looked closely at the exit point of the wormhole that was marked on the map of the galaxy on the main viewscreen. 

"Wait a minute…that's in the vicinity of – "

"The Bajoran wormhole at Deep Space 9," finished Harry.  "It's only a hundred light-years away.  If we can sustain warp 8, we could reach it 36 days." 

Her lips parted as she looked at the two points on the screen.  "A month away from home," she said quietly.

She looked around at the others gathered around her.  Harry and B'Elanna seemed thrilled, Chakotay and Icheb were beaming, but Mark seemed unusually restrained.  The color had drained from his face and he looked horror-stricken. 

"Mark? What is it?" 

"Magnify that," he said, and the section containing the two end-points of the wormholes was enlarged. 

"That's Dominion space." 

Captain Janeway's eyes widened as she looked at the screen.  "Are you sure?" 

"Yes.  I'm more familiar with their territory than I want to be.  My wife was on the U.S.S. Odyssey." 

Seeing the blank looks, he remembered himself.  "The Odyssey was the first casualty of the Dominion War.  They were patrolling the border when they were destroyed by the Dominion without provocation.  They weren't even in Dominion space.  Crossing this area would be extremely dangerous." 

"I thought the war was over," said Tom. 

"I still wouldn't want to take any chances with the Dominion," said Mark, shaken. 

The Captain closed her eyes.  "I'll have to discuss this with Starfleet Command." 

"What's there to discuss?" said B'Elanna.  "We've got a way home." 

"B'Elanna," said Chakotay, in a tone of voice that caused her to stare at the ground in silence. 

Without a word, Captain Janeway pushed her way past the gathered officers and walked out the door.  Chakotay watched her go with concern.

*    *    *

"A wormhole?" said Admiral Paris, beaming. "That's fantastic.  How soon do you plan to go through it?" 

"I haven't told you the whole story, Admiral.  The wormhole doesn't lead to the Alpha quadrant." 

He frowned.  "Then how are you going to use it to get home?" 

"It leads to the Gamma quadrant.  It's just over a month away from the Bajoran wormhole." 

The Admiral's frowned immediately as he guessed what was coming next.  "Would you have to pass through Dominion space?" 

"Yes." 

He thought for a minute but he began to smile.  "I'll have to discuss this with the Admiralty." 

"I know." 

"There are dozens of Admirals who would bend the rules to get you home, Captain.  I'm confident that they'll be perfectly agreeable to your using the Kesseret wormhole." 

That surprised her – she had expected more trouble than this.  "Do you think so, Admiral?" 

"Yes.  We aren't at war with the Dominion, after all.  I doubt they would refuse you a way home." 

"Thank you, sir." 

"I'll speak to you soon."  He leaned forward with a grin.  "Hopefully in person." 

She nodded and cut the channel.  She leaned back in her chair and then allowed a small smile to creep across her face.  Admiral Paris' optimism was infectious.  After sitting for a few moments in silence, she got up and moved back onto the bridge. 

She saw all of her senior staff that were on the bridge looking at her expectantly, so she tried not to be overly encouraging as she moved towards her chair.  She could tell that she was unsuccessful in concealing her optimism when Tom and Harry broke into big grins, and even Tuvok's eyebrow went up.  Chakotay smiled at her as she took her seat and leaned over as soon as she was settled. 

"I take it things went well Admiral Paris?" 

She nodded.  "He said he has to speak to the Admiralty, of course, but he doesn't think there will be a problem." 

Tom turned around in his chair.  "Well, I know my dad has a lot of friends in high places.  Maybe the…how many times has this happened?  Four?" 

"Seven," said Harry. 

"Okay…maybe the eighth time's the charm." 

She chuckled.  "I hope so, Tom.  I doubt there's any point in trying to keep this to ourselves any longer, but until I hear back from your father, let's try and keep our expectations under wraps, shall we?"

*    *    *

_Captain's Log, Stardate 55079.5  We've extended our stay at Kesseret Prime indefinitely while we try and negotiate passage through the wormhole.  I decided to hope for the best and approached the Ambassador before having heard from Admiral Paris again.  The Ambassador has been less than cooperative, but I hope we can reach a compromise eventually._

Captain Janeway paced back and forth in Astrometrics.  It had been a week since she had talked to Admiral Paris, and she was getting increasingly apprehensive with each day that passed with no word from him. 

After her initial conversation, she had poured over all the information on the Dominion War that they had received in the monthly datastreams.  She had at first been relieved to find that the Federation had negotiated not a treaty but a surrender – that had made her hope that the Federation would be more willing to allow Voyager to travel through the Gamma quadrant.  Her initial optimism had faded, though, as time passed without word from Admiral Paris. 

She had waited three days before trying to contact him, but she had been told that he was unavailable.  Since she only had a comlink once a day, it was hard to track him down, and every day since then she had been told that he was busy or unavailable.  Today's comlink would be up in a few minutes, and she hoped to get a hold of him this time.  She had also asked to speak to Admiral Hayes or Admiral Necheyev, but was told that Hayes was on vacation and that Necheyev was in the Neutral Zone. 

If Admiral Paris was taking so long to get back to her, that probably meant that he was having difficulty convincing Starfleet Command to let them go through the wormhole.  When Mark had first mentioned that they would have to pass through Dominion space, she had felt a knot in the pit of her stomach that hadn't gone away since, and only got worse the longer she went without hearing from anyone at Starfleet Command. 

Seven was watching the Captain pace out of the corner of her eye, but her attention was drawn to her console when it beeped at her.  "Captain.  The link will be active in thirty seconds." 

She sighed with relief and moved to the middle of the room.  "Put me through to Admiral Paris' office."

She had approached Crewman Celes and Ensign Sharr, who had their comm time today, and had quietly explained the situation with the wormhole.  They had been more that willing to volunteer their comm time for the Captain's use, but she told them she would only use it if necessary.  Joe Carey had the third time slot, but since she knew he had young children back home she refused to take his comm time. 

She was surprised when instead of the familiar face of Admiral Paris' aide that she had been speaking to over the past four days, she was greeted with the face of Admiral Blackwell.  A chill ran down her spine, and she was nervous although she didn't know why. 

"Captain Janeway." 

"Admiral Blackwell.  I was expecting to speak with – " 

"Admiral Paris.  I know.  I'm afraid he's – "

"Unavailable.  So I've been told." 

Admiral Blackwell smiled, but it sent shivers down her spine.  "Yes, I hear you've been trying to contact him.  Between us, Captain, I think he's been avoiding you." 

She stiffened.  "That doesn't sound like Admiral Paris." 

"Perhaps not, but I think he's a little reluctant to have to give you bad news." 

The Captain felt her blood run cold.  "Bad news?" 

"We've been apprised of your situation.  I'm afraid we cannot allow you to risk proceeding through Dominion space." 

"With all due respect, Admiral, why not?  It's my understanding that they surrendered to us." 

"That's true, but that doesn't mean we want to disrupt the peace that's arisen over the past three years.  We can't afford to start another war." 

"My crew has been waiting for a way home for nearly seven years, Admiral." 

"I'm aware of that, Captain.  But I won't let the predicament of a single ship start a dispute with one of the greatest threats the Federation has ever faced.  You're not familiar with the Dominion – if they detect a Federation vessel in their space, they could use it as an excuse to launch another offensive on the Alpha quadrant.  I don't think I need to tell you that's unacceptable." 

"I promised my crew I would get them home, and – " she began, but was interrupted. 

"I'm sure you did, but the convenience of 175 people is outweighed by the threat of the Dominion.  You can't be ignorant of how many billions of lives were lost during the war." 

"Of course not, but – "

"I'm afraid this decision is final.  Under no circumstances are you to proceed though the Gamma quadrant.  Your orders are to leave Kesseret space and resume a course for the Alpha quadrant.  Is that clear?" 

He glared at her for several seconds before she replied.  "Yes." 

He nodded.  "Blackwell out." 

The screen went blank, and she leaned forward numbly on the console, reeling from shock. 

Seven looked at her with concern and after a few moments she opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, the Captain stood up abruptly and walked out of Astrometrics without a word.

On the bridge, Chakotay looked at the chronometer with a frown.  The comlink with home had been over for nearly twenty minutes, but there had been no word from Kathryn.  Prior to the scheduled communication, she had been in sequestered in her ready room for over two hours.  She had been getting increasingly quiet with each day that passed without word from Starfleet, and today was the worst day yet.  She had barely said ten words to him all morning, although she seemed contemplative rather than angry with him. 

Seven of Nine exited the turbolift next to Tuvok's station and moved around the bridge to Chakotay's chair.  She was in her uniform, and since the procedure on her implant had again taken to wearing her hair in a loose ponytail behind her head.  She looked much more relaxed now, and many of the crew had noticed it.

When Chakotay looked up from his console at her, she handed a PADD to him. 

"I have completed the modifications to the shields," she announced.  "They should compensate for any theta radiation that has accumulated in the wormhole." 

"Good work." 

"Is the Captain in her ready room?" 

Chakotay looked up at her. "What do you mean?  She hasn't returned from Astrometrics yet." 

Seven raised an eyebrow. "She left Astrometrics immediately after her conversation with the Admiral."

He frowned.  "Computer, locate Captain Janeway." 

_Captain Janeway is in her ready room._

He nodded to Seven, who turned around and left the bridge.  He watched her leave, then glanced at the ready room doors.  Kathryn going to her ready room without crossing the bridge was definitely a bad sign.  He slowly got up out of his chair and moved over to the entrance to her ready room.  He pressed the chime, and the doors opened after a few seconds.  The chair at her desk was empty, and he saw her standing over by the windows, arms crossed and staring at the planet below them. 

"Seven made some shield modifications in case there's radiation inside the wormhole," he said as he moved across the room and up the stairs to stand beside her. 

When he addressed her, she turned around and he looked at her with disbelief.  All the color had drained from her face, and she looked incredibly shaken.  He wasn't sure she had heard him until she mechanically extended her hand for the PADD. 

He handed it to her, examining her face, which was frozen and emotionless.  "Kathryn – what's wrong?" 

She didn't answer him as she looked at the PADD.  "This looks good," she said, handing it back to him.  She then turned her back to him and looked out the window.  "Too bad we won't need it." 

"What?" 

"We won't be going through the wormhole," she said so quietly that he wasn't sure he had heard her right.

"Why not?" 

She turned to face him, her expression angry – the first emotion she had displayed since he had come into the room.  "Does it matter why not?  We're leaving here first thing in the morning."  She turned back to the window. 

"Kathryn – what's going on?" he said, putting his hand on her shoulder. 

She closed her eyes at the contact and was silent for a few moments.  "Recall everyone from the surface," she said quietly.  "And have the ship ready to leave orbit at 0800 tomorrow." 

"Why?" he said again. 

"I gave you an order, Commander," she said in a low voice, but without the fire that usually accompanied such a statement from her. 

He reluctantly turned to go, but before he had made it down the stairs to the main part of the room her voice made him turn around, although she spoke so low it was hard to hear her. 

"I spoke with Admiral Blackwell." 

He turned around and saw her still staring out the window, but he moved back towards her anyways. 

"What did he say?" 

He sat down and took her hands in his to pull her down on to the couch beside him.  She still looked out the window, not making eye contact. 

"He said that Starfleet decided they can't risk a conflict with the Dominion even if it means we get home.  There's too many lives at stake."  She turned her head away from the window and finally looked him in the eye.  "My orders are to ignore the wormhole and resume course for the Alpha quadrant." 

He looked at her in stunned silence for a moment.  "Kathryn, I…I'm sorry.  That must have been hard for you." 

She laughed derisively.  "Hard for _me? What about the rest of the crew?"  Although she had given orders that knowledge of the existence of the wormhole be restricted, she knew from experience that half the crew probably already knew about it.  "How am I going to look them in the face and tell them that we're just walking away from a way home, __again?"_

"Maybe we don't have to.  If we could find a way – " 

"No," she said, getting up off the couch and turning her back to him. "No.  My orders were perfectly clear.  Recall the crew." 

He got up and moved to stand behind her.  "Kathryn…"

"Recall the crew," she repeated angrily.  He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around. 

"I don't think we need to do that until we've looked at all the options." 

"All the options?" she said incredulously.  "I've been given a direct order.  That doesn't leave much room for options." 

"It's not like you to give in so quickly," he said.  "Take some time to think about it.  Why don't we get the senior staff together and talk about this."  He smiled.  "Remember when we first encountered the Borg?  We thought there were only two options – go through Borg space or turn around.  You refused to accept that, and came up with a third option." 

"Which you disagreed with, as I recall." 

"True," he said.  "But in hindsight, you were right.  Maybe there's an option here that you're not seeing.  Let's talk it over with the senior staff first.   If we can't come up with anything, then we'll tell the crew – together." 

She looked at him for several seconds before she nodded.  "Do it," she said quietly.

*    *    *

"What do you mean, they won't let us go through the wormhole?  That's ridiculous," sputtered B'Elanna. 

"If they believe that our presence would provoke the Dominion, then it is a perfectly logical decision," countered Tuvok. 

"I thought they wanted us to get home," said Harry plaintively. 

Chakotay glanced at the Captain and saw her pained look at Harry's comment. 

"I'm sure they do," he said to Harry.  "But they have other things to consider." 

"I've seen what the Dominion's capable of," said Mark. "I think they're justified to be wary of provoking them." 

"You agree with them?" said B'Elanna in disbelief. 

"If they have reason to believe that this could cause another war…then, yes." 

"They're just being paranoid," she spat. 

"Maybe," he conceded.  "But I've seen the devastation from this war first-hand.  My wife was killed, and many of my friends and colleagues.  Sometimes it's good to be overcautious." 

"I can't believe my father would pull something like this," said Tom, who until this point hadn't spoken yet.

"I never spoke with Admiral Paris," said the Captain quietly.  She had been silent since giving them the news, so the staff stopped their bickering and looked at her.  "I tried to contact him all week and finally spoke with an Admiral Blackwell." 

"He couldn't even tell you to your face?" said Tom incredulously.  "That's not like him." 

"I know," said the Captain softly. 

"That's not what's important here," said Chakotay.  "We're here to discuss options." 

"What's there to discuss?" demanded Talia.  "We've got a way home – let's take it." 

"And disobey a direct order?" said Tuvok. 

"From Starfleet?" said B'Elanna. "They obviously don't care about getting us home." 

"Lieutenant!" said Chakotay sharply. 

"What?  How many times have we found what we thought was a way home only to have it yanked out from under us.  I say we make our own way home." 

"At what cost?" said the Captain.  "We could be risking billions of lives by provoking the Dominion." 

"She's right," said Harry sadly.  "We can't put the lives of everyone back home ahead of our convenience."

"And just ignore another way home?" said B'Elanna. 

"_This is our home," said Harry, and she looked at him in surprise before looking down at her hands on the table. _

"I'm aware we're all disappointed," said the Captain.  "But if there's any way we can convince Starfleet that we can do this, I'm willing to hear it." 

"Their objection is that we will be passing through Dominion space," said Seven. 

"Yes," said the Captain. 

"Then perhaps we should chart a course around their territory." 

"If we're not in their space," said Harry, "Starfleet might let us use the wormholes." 

"_Starfleet hasn't been out here the past seven years," said B'Elanna. "Who are they to tell us we can't go home?" _

"They may not have been out here in the Delta quadrant," said Mark, "But you weren't there during the war either.  You don't know what it was like.  I do, and it's not pretty.  We very nearly lost that war." 

"And you haven't been stranded out here for seven _years," pointed out Tom.  "It's different for us."_

"That's enough," said the Captain, raising her hand.  "Seven, Harry – get down to Astrometrics and see if you can chart a course that keeps us at least fifteen light-years away from the Dominion's territory.  I'll give the rest of you three days to come up with another solution.  And one more thing – this is not to go beyond these bulkheads.  I don't want the crew finding out about this.  Is that clear?" 

Heads nodded around the table.  "Dismissed." 

*    *    *

Seven turned around from her console in Astrometrics towards the Captain.  "Ten seconds."

Janeway nodded.  "When the comlink is active, try Admiral Paris' office again."

Seven nodded, but frowned as the console in front of her beeped.  "There is an incoming transmission."

"What?"  She had reluctantly suspended all personal communications while she was trying to negotiate with Starfleet Command, so she was surprised that there would be somebody trying to contact them.  "Onscreen."

She was surprised to see her mother's face appear on the screen. 

"Mom!" 

"Hello, dear.  Sorry to bother you.  I'm sure you must be very busy." 

"Don't be ridiculous.  You're never a bother.  Is everything all right?" 

"That's what I was going to ask you," said Gretchen.  "Admiral Paris called yesterday and wanted to know if I'd heard from you." 

She bolted upright.  "You spoke with him?" 

"Yes – he said he'd been trying to get a hold of you for days." 

"I've been trying to contact him, too.  I was told he was unavailable." 

Her mother shook her head.  "Not according to him.  Kathryn, what's going on?" 

"Nothing."  She quickly walked over to the wall near where Seven was working and entered a series of commands, encrypting the transmission just in case anybody was monitoring it.  She then turned back to her mother and moved back to the center of the room. 

"Mom, I need you to listen carefully.  Call Admiral Paris and tell him to go to a secure channel.  When he does, get him to come to your house at this time tomorrow, but try not to tell him why.   When he gets there, call me again.  Tell him I'll secure the channel using Borg encryption codes." 

"Borg encryption codes?  Kathryn, is something wrong?" 

"Just a hunch.  Will you do it?" 

"Of course.  I'll call him right away." 

"No – wait a few hours before you make contact with him." 

"All right.  Are you sure you won't tell me what's wrong?" 

"I can't, mom – I'm not even sure I know myself." 

"All right, dear.  Be careful." 

"I will," said Kathryn with a smile.  "Say hello to everyone for me." 

"I will, dear." 

With that, the transmission ended, and she backed away from the console and put her hands on her hips.  If Admiral Paris hadn't been avoiding her, then why hadn't she been able to reach him?  They both seemed to be in the same predicament.  She wondered for a moment if he even knew about her orders to avoid the wormhole. 

"Is everything all right, Captain?" asked Seven. 

"I'm not sure…but I guess I'll find out tomorrow." 

*    *    *

"You sound like you suspect some sort of conspiracy," said Chakotay as he watched Kathryn pace back and forth in Astrometrics. 

"It's beginning to seem that way," she muttered.  "I can't reach Owen, he can't reach me, and in the middle of this Admiral Blackwell orders me to ignore a way home." 

"Well, maybe Admiral Paris will be able to give you some answers." 

"Maybe," she said absentmindedly, still pacing.  She finally stopped when Seven turned around from where she was working. 

"I am preparing to establish the comlink." 

She acknowledged her with a nod.  "When you establish the link, secure the channel using one of your Borg encryption codes." 

"Understood." 

She moved forward to stand in front of the screen, and Chakotay came over to stand beside her.  She took a deep breath and looked at him before turning her attention back to the screen.  After a few seconds, Admiral Paris' face appeared on the screen, sitting in her mother's house. 

"It's good to see you, sir," said the Captain with relief. 

"Likewise.  I've been having some difficulty contacting you.  I had begun to worry that something had happened to Voyager." 

"I had some trouble on my end as well, sir.  I was repeatedly told you were unavailable." 

"Nonsense.  I was nothing of the sort.  And I never got any of your messages.  I think Lieutenant Statler is in for a demotion." 

"I spoke with Admiral Blackwell when I tried to reach you," she said cautiously. 

His face fell.  "I had hoped to break the news to you personally." 

Her shoulders slumped in defeat and she looked plaintively at Chakotay before turning back to the Admiral.

"Then the orders are legitimate." 

"From the highest levels in Starfleet Command, I'm afraid.  There's nothing I could do – it's out of my hands.  I'm sorry, Captain." 

"So am I, Admiral, but I've put my best people to work on alternative options." 

"It may be possible for us to avoid Dominion space entirely," said Chakotay.  "Do you think they would allow us to proceed if that's possible?" 

"I don't see why not.  From what I was told, the entire objection to your request was your infringing on Dominion territory.  If that's not a factor…we could be seeing each other sooner that we thought." 

She smiled.  "I hope so, Admiral.  I'll keep you informed."  Having known Admiral Paris for a long time, she could tell there was something more that he wasn't telling her.  "What is it, Admiral?" 

He shifted uneasily.  "I'm getting a bad feeling about some of this, that's all.  Somebody's sticking their nose where it doesn't belong." 

"Can you be more specific?" 

"The Pathfinder Project – somebody's interfering with it." 

"What do you mean?" asked Chakotay. 

"Lieutenant Barclay's been recalled to Jupiter Station to help Doctor Zimmerman with a new mark EMH."

"Is that unusual?" 

He shrugged.  "By itself?  Perhaps not…but Commander Harkins told me he practically begged to stay with Pathfinder.  He appealed to me to intervene, but even my influence wasn't enough.  Someone was obviously determined to get him off Pathfinder.  Two days later, Commander Harkins was offered a teaching position at the Academy.  It's like the Project is being dismantled bit by bit." 

He could see that Janeway and Chakotay were suspicious as well, and he shook his head with a chuckle.

"Hopefully it's nothing more than the over-active imagination of an old Admiral." 

"I've never know you to have an over-active imagination, sir." 

"I think we should definitely be cautious," added Chakotay. 

"We'll talk again soon, Admiral," said the Captain. 

He nodded, and the screen went blank. 

"Well," said the Captain.  "Now we've spoken face to face, perhaps it'll be easier to keep in contact with him." 

"Do you really think there's some kind of conspiracy?" 

"Probably just the Starfleet bureaucracy at work," she admitted.  "But I can't shake the feeling that there's something more to all this." 

*    *    *

Captain Janeway sat at the head of the conference table and looked at her staff.  It appeared that they had made the most of the three days she had given them to come up with options, because they all looked optimistic. 

"Let's start with the course.  Seven, Harry – what have you got for us?" 

"We can stay at least fifteen light-years away from their borders and still make the journey in forty-five days," he announced. 

"Good work.  Tuvok?  Anything to report?" 

"Commander Walker and I have analyzed sensor data from Federation ships that were posted in the Gamma quadrant.  I believe we can sufficiently lower our energy output so as not to be detected by Dominion sensors." 

"Good," she nodded.  "B'Elanna?  Anything on your end?" 

"A cloaking device." 

"A cloaking device?" repeated the Captain, intrigued. 

"The Kesseret have cloaking technology.  I spoke with one of their engineers, and he agreed to help us adapt their technology to Voyager in exchange for our multiphasic shield technology." 

Chakotay could sense the Captain's hesitation, and he shared it.  "That's a pretty blatant violation of the Prime Directive.  We'd be giving them technology that they could use against the Brennin." 

B'Elanna frowned and thought for a moment.  "What do you have a bigger problem with – us getting the cloaking technology, or them getting the multiphasic shielding?" 

"Giving them the shields," said the Captain after a moment. 

"Then that's easy – we'll give them something else." 

"Is there anything else they'll want?" asked Neelix. 

"Seven's expertise," said B'Elanna. 

"What do you mean?" asked the Captain. 

"I accompanied Lieutenant Torres to speak with the Kesseret engineer," said Seven.  "They have a flaw in their cloaking technology – it produces high levels of theta radiation that is harmful after long-term exposure.  I have retained knowledge of cloaking technology that was assimilated by the Borg.  I believe I could repair the flaw." 

"In exchange for one of their cloaking devices," guessed the Captain.  "Could it be integrated with our systems?" 

"It's hard to say without getting a good look at the technology," said B'Elanna, "But I think it's worth a try."

"I must point out," said Tuvok, "That it is illegal for a Federation ship to use a cloaking device." 

"Not in the Gamma quadrant," said Mark.  "We signed an agreement with the Romulans years ago.  Besides, I think the legalities are the least of our worries at this point." 

"If we're going to do this, we should get two," said Tom.  "We might need one for the Delta Flyer." 

The Captain nodded.  "B'Elanna, see what you can arrange with the Kesseret.  I'll inform Starfleet and see what they have to say."

*    *    *

When Captain Janeway contacted Starfleet the next day, she wasn't surprised when the face that appeared on the screen was Admiral Blackwell's. 

"Captain," he said coldly.  "Have you departed Kesseret Prime yet?" 

"No.  My crew's been working on alternative ways to reach the Bajoran wormhole." 

His eyes narrowed.  "I ordered you to leave the vicinity immediately." 

"I understand that, Admiral, but you have to understand something as well – I'm not about to give up that easily when the Alpha quadrant could be weeks instead of decades away.  My crew has charted a course that will keep us fifteen light-years away from Dominion space." 

"Irrelevant.  You could still encounter a Dominion vessel and the consequences would be the same." 

She bristled.  "We may also be able to obtain a cloaking device.  The Dominion wouldn't be able to detect us.  We'll lower our energy output as well just in case their sensors can pick us up." 

"Unacceptable." 

"Admiral, I hardly see how this can pose a threat when – "

"You're not familiar with our situation, Captain.  Don't presume to know what you're dealing with.  Billions of lives could be at risk." 

"I'm sorry, Admiral, but I was hoping you could at least discuss it with the Admiralty." 

"I speak for the Admiralty.  Your orders stand.  Leave the area immediately and resume course for the Alpha quadrant." 

Without waiting for acknowledgement from her, he ended the transmission.

*    *    *

Kathryn was sitting in their quarters in the dark staring out the windows when a shaft of light from the hallway penetrated the room.  She turned her head to see Chakotay standing in the doorway, then looked back out the window.  The doors closed behind him and the room became dark again. 

"You've been awfully quiet today," he said as he sat down in a chair across from her.  When she didn't acknowledge him, he continued, "Want to tell me what's on your mind?" 

"I told you Admiral Blackwell didn't rescind my orders," she said quietly. 

"Yes." 

"What I didn't say was that he's not going to.  They're not even going to discuss it.  Our orders stand." 

He looked at her carefully.  "But you're thinking of going anyways." 

She visibly relaxed and let out a soft chuckle.  "How is it you always manage to see right through me?"

A smile was his only answer. 

She got up from her chair and moved over to the window.  "How can I just turn away when we're so close?  Admiral Blackwell told me I'm not familiar with his situation, but he's not familiar with mine.  He can't begin to imagine the obligation, the responsibility, the guilt…" Her voice trailed off. 

"This is different, Kathryn," he said, knowing what she was thinking. 

"Is it?  The good of the many outweighs the good of the few, as a Vulcan would say.  I've been here before – deciding whether getting this crew home was worth the risk to a group of innocent people." 

"It's different this time." 

"You're right," she said finally looking at him.  "It is different.  Seven years ago, I put a single civilization ahead of my crew.  Now, I could be risking billions of lives, thousands of civilizations…just so we can get home quicker." 

"You don't know that," Chakotay said. 

"You're right – I don't.  But what if the Admirals are right – what if my devotion to this crew causes a war?  Do you know how many people were killed in that war?"

He shook his head. 

"Over ten _billion.  How can I possibly take that kind of risk?" _

"We've taken risks before." 

"Not of this magnitude.  Risks to the crew are one thing, but I could be putting the entire Alpha quadrant on the line." She turned away from the windows. "If we do this, and I'm wrong, the consequences could be unimaginable." 

He moved over to stand beside her.  "We'll have a cloaking device, and we'll be staying well away from their space.  I think the risk is minimal.  We can do this, Kathryn." 

She let out a deep sigh and looked out the window before facing him again.  "Would you follow a Captain who disobeyed a direct order?" 

He smiled.  "Through hell and back."

*    *    *

Captain Janeway looked around at the faces of her senior staff as they watched her expectantly at the head of the conference table. 

"B'Elanna?  The cloaking device?" 

"They've agreed to give us two cloaking generators if Seven's able to fix the radiation problem.  I've examined one of them – they can be integrated into our systems." 

"Excellent work.  Tuvok, I want round-the-clock tactical drills.  If we get attacked on either side of this wormhole, I want to be ready for it." 

"Aye, Captain." 

"Harry, I want all non-essential systems offline and power requirements at a minimum.  Stockpile emergency power cells in critical areas of the ship – engineering, sickbay, the bridge, the mess hall." 

"Yes, ma'am." 

"Neelix?  How are negotiations going with the Kesseret?" 

"They'd like you to be present for the final stages of our negotiations, Captain, but I think they're willing to let us use the wormhole.  Under armed escort, of course.  I didn't tell them we would have asked for it anyways." 

The staff chuckled, but became serious when the Captain stood up from her chair and looked around the table, meeting each person's gaze in turn. 

"I have full confidence in each and every one of you.  Our orders from Starfleet are not to leave this room.  The crew will be under enough stress without knowing that we're defying Starfleet Command.  Is that clear?" 

When they all nodded solemnly, she continued. 

"This is my decision, and I'll be taking full responsibility for disobeying orders." 

She continued looking at each of them before she reached Chakotay sitting next to her.  She was moved by the support she could see in his gaze, and took strength from it. 

"Assemble the crew," she said, looking back at the rest of her staff.  "We're going home." 


	3. New Ground

DISCLAIMER:   You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

SUMMARY: Janeway second guesses her decision as Voyager tries to evade an enemy that could destroy them.

THE LONG ROAD HOME

PARADISE LOST

CHAPTER THREE : NEW GROUND

Captain Janeway looked at the large contingent of the crew assembled in the shuttle bay.  Only a skeleton crew that was running the ship was absent and there were over 130 people gathered in front of her.  She had an open comm link, so even those who had to remain at their stations could hear her. 

"You've all been briefed on our situation.  We've been waiting for this opportunity for almost seven years," she said as she walked among her crew.  "Today will be one of the last days we spend in the Delta quadrant.  It won't be easy, though.  We'll have to spend over a month in a dangerous area of space.  I'm sure many of you have heard of the Dominion from loved ones back home.  With any luck – and that's something that we've had in abundance these past few years – we won't encounter them…but we have to be prepared for the worst.  I have every confidence that we'll prevail, as we always have." 

She moved back towards the front of the group where Chakotay and Mark were standing. 

"We'll be entering a communications blackout, starting immediately.  I'm afraid that means you won't be able to contact your loved ones to tell them we're on our way, but it's a necessary precaution.  We can't afford to have the Dominion find out that we're near their space." 

The real reason for the blackout was to make sure that the wrong people at Starfleet didn't get wind of her plan, but she wasn't about to tell the crew that. 

"Once we're in the Gamma quadrant, we'll no longer be able to use the MIDAS array for communications.  We'll be leaving as soon as Lieutenant Torres installs the cloaking device we'll be using.  We have a lot to do in the meantime." 

She paused and look around at the officers as they watched her.  "This is the finest crew I've ever had the privilege of serving with.  I know that each and every one of you will give your best effort towards getting us home.  Dismissed." 

The crew filed out and soon only a few members of the senior staff remained.  The Captain nodded at Seven and Chakotay to follow her as she left the shuttle bay.  They went to Astrometrics, where they waited a few moments before the daily comlink would be used for what would probably be the last time.

Admiral Blackwell appeared on the screen, flanked by Admiral Hayes and, to her surprise, Admiral Paris.  She had expected him to be on Jupiter station, since that was where they had arranged to communicate today, through Tom's sister. 

"Admirals," she said hesitantly. 

"Captain," said Blackwell. "Are you still in orbit of Kesseret Prime?" 

"Yes," she acknowledged. 

He frowned, but Hayes and especially Paris did not seem to share his displeasure.  "Why?" 

"Shore leave," she explained.  "My crew's been under quite a bit of stress lately and I think they deserve a break." 

"Are they aware of the existence of the wormhole?" asked Blackwell. 

"I restricted knowledge of it to my senior staff until we knew if we would be able to use it or not."  It wasn't exactly a lie, but it made her uncomfortable nevertheless.

Blackwell seemed satisfied, not noticing that she hadn't answered the question.  "When will you be leaving orbit?" 

"Most likely within a few days.  We're still negotiating for supplies." 

"I hope you understand your orders, Captain," said Blackwell menacingly. 

"Perfectly.  Not to worry, Admiral.  We'll be heading for the Alpha quadrant, and we won't be entering Dominion space."  She looked at Admiral Paris when she said this, and she saw by the way his eyes widened momentarily that he realized the importance of what she wasn't saying. 

"Good," said Blackwell. "There are a few matters I want to discuss over the next few days about some of your confrontations with the Borg." 

Right on cue, Seven threw some static into the transmission. 

"What's wrong?" asked Hayes. 

"Seven?" said the Captain, feigning confusion. 

"The gel packs again, Captain," said Seven, sounding bored as though it had happened many times before.

The Captain turned back to the Admirals.  "We've been having some problems with the bio-neural circuitry.  Our EMH thinks it might be some kind of infection.  We've been having trouble with some of the primary systems." 

Seven took the hint and distorted the picture once again. 

"Is it serious?" asked Hayes. 

"Hard to say," offered Chakotay.  "The last time we started losing gel packs we were on emergency power for three weeks." 

"We're working on the problem," she began, signaling to Seven from her waist where the Admirals couldn't see it.  Seven was waiting for the signal and continued distorting the transmission until she cut it completely. 

"If they try to contact us again," said Seven, "It will appear as though our communications array is off-line." 

"Good work." 

*    *    *

_Captain's Log, Stardate 55106.4  Encrypt log entry.  Lieutenant Torres has successfully installed the cloaking devices on both Voyager and the Delta Flyer in under two days, and all our tests of the system have been successful.  We have an escort of five cloaked Kesseret vessels to lead us through the minefield, and will arrive at the wormhole coordinates shortly._

"Captain, I am detecting weapons fire near the coordinates of the wormhole," announced Tuvok. 

The Captain bolted upright in her chair.  "Onscreen." 

They saw dozens of small vessels swarming around the larger but outnumbered Kesseret ships. 

"The Brennin," she muttered. 

"General Tamal's vessel is hailing us," Tuvok told her. 

"Onscreen." 

General Tamal's face appeared on the viewscreen.  "Captain, it appears the Brennin are attacking the corridor with a significant force," he said grimly.  "I'll transfer the information to detect the mines to your navigational computer.  My vessels must go assist the others." 

"By all means, General.  Can we be of assistance?" 

"Not necessary.  If you remain cloaked and set a course for the wormhole the Brennin will not see you."

Somebody behind the General yelled at him, and he nodded in acknowledgement before the screen returned to the battle scene. 

"I'm detecting the mines," said Tom at the helm.  "Setting a course for the wormhole." 

The Captain watched the raging battle with concern. 

"Any sign we've been spotted, Tuvok?" asked Chakotay. 

"None.  The Brennin are concentrating their fire on General Tamal's fleet."  He frowned as he noticed something else.  "A group of Brennin are breaking off their attack." 

A group of ten or twelve ships pulled away from the fighting and began firing on what seemed to be an empty part of space.  Captain Janeway turned around in her seat to look at Tuvok. 

"Are they firing on a cloaked vessel?" 

"No," said Tuvok.  Before he could elaborate, Harry interrupted him urgently. 

"It's the wormhole!" he yelled.  "They're trying to collapse it!" 

The Captain turned back to the screen.  _Not again, she thought.  __We're so close.  She didn't even want to consider the possibility that they would not be successful. _

"Tom, take us in at full impulse." 

"Captain, General Tamal's vessel has taken heavy damage," Tuvok informed her. 

"Hail him." 

"If we don't make it to the wormhole before it collapses – " began Harry, but a look from the Captain silenced him. 

"I'm well aware of that, Mr. Kim.  Tuvok?" 

"Channel open." 

"General, do you need assistance?" 

_No, he said over the comm, __We__ can deal with the Brennin ourselves.  This isn't your fight._

The Captain sighed.  "Good luck, General." 

_The same to you._

She nodded at Tom.  "Stay on course for the wormhole, Lieutenant." 

"Captain!" yelled Harry. "The threshold's starting to collapse!  They're using tricobalt warheads - if they keep firing they'll destroy it!" 

_Tamal__ to Captain Janeway._

"Go ahead, General." 

_Our scientists are recommending we fire at the opening of the corridor to collapse it temporarily.  If we don't, the Brennin will destroy it for good.  If you're going to use it, I suggest you do so._

"Acknowledged.  Tuvok, charge weapons and prepare to decloak." 

"Captain?" 

"Do it," she ordered. "We're going to take a few of those Brennin out on our way.  Reinforce the aft shields – I suspect we'll have one hell of a shock wave on our tail." 

Voyager decloaked and was immediately fired upon by some of the Brennin vessels.  Tuvok returned fire, destroying two of them. 

"Three hundred kilometers to the threshold," announced Tom.  "Two hundred…One fifty…One hundred…" The mouth of the wormhole opened in front of them and Voyager neared the threshold. 

"All hands brace for impact," ordered the Captain. 

"Seventy-five…we're in!" he announced.  Voyager was flying through a magnificent blue tunnel that took their breath away.  They stopped gawking at it, though, when the bridge shook. 

"Just a little turbulence," said Tom.  

After a few seconds, the bridge shook again when the shock wave caught up with them.  The lights on the bridge went out and consoles exploded around them, sending sparks flying in all directions.  A haze of smoke was hanging over the bridge as Captain Janeway got up off the floor and looked at the viewscreen.

 An unfamiliar star system greeted them. 

Captain Janeway rose from her chair and walked over to stand behind Tom. 

"Mr. Kim?" 

Harry waited a moment before he replied in an excited voice.  "Confirmed – we're in the Gamma quadrant.  Exactly where Seven predicted we would be." 

"Tuvok, engage the cloaking device." 

"Cloaking device engaged," he announced. 

She took another step closer to Tom, putting her hand on his shoulder.  "Set a course for the Bajoran wormhole, warp 8." 

"Yes ma'am," he said enthusiastically. 

Chakotay noticed immediately that the Captain didn't seem to share Tom's enthusiasm.  She seemed contemplative and withdrawn as she moved back to her seat.  When she looked at him, he smiled and held out his hand.  She took his hand and returned the smile, but it seemed more a reaction than anything else, and she held onto his hand as if drawing strength from it.

*    *    *

_Captain's personal log, Stardate 55132.7  Our first ten days traveling through the Gamma quadrant have been quiet, with no sign of trouble from the Dominion.  As much as I'd like it to remain that way, part of me wants something to think about other than my decision to defy Starfleet.  I'm beginning to wonder if I acted too rashly – was I merely blinded by my desire to get my crew home?  If my actions here start a war, will I be viewed as the Captain who caused the deaths of billions of people just to satisfy her arrogant sense of duty?  I can only hope I won't have to find out._

Chakotay rolled over in bed and was surprised at the empty space beside him.  Sitting up, he looked around the bedroom but couldn't see Kathryn.  He pushed the sheet off him and threw his legs over the edge of the bed.  He moved quietly into the living area, and couldn't see her at first.  He finally spotted her sitting at the desk, her face illuminated by her computer terminal. 

"Isn't it a little late to be working?" he said, padding over to the desk in his bare feet. 

She looked up, startled.  "I couldn't sleep," she said distractedly. 

"This is the third night in a row you've had trouble sleeping," he said, concerned.  "I'm worried about you, Kathryn." 

She ignored him and turned the computer terminal around.  On it was the face of a scaly, horned alien alongside a moving stream of data.  "The Jem'Hadar," she said, leaning back in her chair.  "Ruthless killing machines genetically engineered by the Founders.  They are brutal and absolutely without mercy." 

"Let's hope we can avoid them," he said, watching her carefully. 

She got up from her desk and walked over to the window, rubbing the back of her neck.  She was wearing a peach silk nightgown, and had a matching robe pulled around her.  "Let's hope," she said quietly.  "But what if we can't?" 

He followed her over to the window.  "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." 

She turned to face him.  "And then what?  What if I'm responsible for unleashing that," she said, pointing at the computer terminal, "on the Alpha quadrant?  I've been looking at some of Starfleet's data on the war.  The Federation wouldn't survive another attack if it came right now." 

"Kathryn…"

"What am I doing?  We should never have tried this." 

"It's not like you to second guess yourself," he said quietly. 

She looked back out the window.  "My decisions usually don't put billions of people at risk." 

"Kathryn, you're looking at the worst case scenario.  It's been ten days, and we haven't seen anything on long-range scanners." 

She sighed and they stood in silence, her watching the stars streak by out the window and him watching her.  After a few minutes, he spoke quietly. 

"What exactly are you worried about?" 

"All my life, I've adhered to Starfleet principles, Starfleet rules.  Now, I'm defying a direct order to satisfy my own agenda." 

"I've never known you to be worried about what Starfleet thinks." 

"I've never had to worry about it before.  I've always had to rely on my own judgment, but now that we're in constant contact Starfleet Command…let's just say it's been on my mind recently."  She sighed.  "Our first priority is to get home, of course." 

"Starfleet has other priorities." 

"Yes, they do, and rightly so.  That's why Captains are supposed to rely on the judgment of Admirals, and follow orders.  I defied a direct order from an Admiral.  Never in my entire career have I disobeyed a direct order." 

"Sure you have," he said quietly.  "You were under orders to arrest me and my crew, but instead you made me your First Officer.  Not exactly following orders, was it?" 

"That's different," she muttered. 

"I don't see how.  When we got stranded out here, you took your Starfleet principles and applied them to our situation, adapting as you went along but always sticking to your ideals in the best tradition of Starfleet.  Look at us – we've made first contacts, made new allies, explored previously uncharted space…and you've always managed to do that while upholding Starfleet principles." 

She shook her head.  "That was before we were in contact with home." 

"Whether in we're in contact with them or not, we're still alone out here.  I admire the fact that you've managed to stick to your principles all these years.  Look at what happened to the Equinox crew." 

She looked down at the floor.  "I violated a direct order," she said firmly.  "I could be putting billions of lives at risk." 

He thought for a moment.  "You know, that's what I thought when I first joined the Maquis.  I knew that fighting the Cardassians could start a war, but I also knew they had to be stopped.  I was breaking who knows how many treaties and laws – but you said you understood my decision.  Just like everyone on board this ship would understand yours if they knew the whole story." 

"Are you comparing me to the Maquis?" she said, slightly amused. 

"I guess I am.  You're defying your superiors for what you believe in.  It's not the orders that matter, Kathryn – it's your principles, and you're sticking to yours." 

She looked at him in contemplative silence for a long time before she eventually smiled and looked back out the window with a chuckle.  "I'm going to get cashiered for this." 

He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him.  "Kathryn – if they court-martial you for getting your crew home…then maybe your faith in them is misplaced." 

"My entire life, all I've ever wanted was a career in Starfleet.  I've never really aspired to anything else."  She sighed.  "We all made a sacrifice seven years ago that took us away from home," she said quietly.  "Now I'll have to sacrifice my career to get us back."  She looked up at him with a sad smile.  "When you win, you lose."

*    *    *

_Captain's Log, Stardate 55204.6  Encrypt log entry.  We're well past the halfway point of our journey, and have proceeded so far without a hitch.  The crew's spirits are getting higher with each passing day, and even I am beginning to think we might make it this time…and possibly even without causing an intergalactic incident._

Over the next few weeks, the Captain made a point of trying to talk to members of her crew to see how they were doing.  It lifted her spirits considerably to hear what each of them were looking forward to when they got back home, and thinking about getting her crew home helped to take her mind of what might be waiting for her there. 

They were just over ten days away from the Bajoran wormhole when they saw their first sign of the Dominion.  It was late at night, and Chakotay and Kathryn woke up simultaneously when the familiar alarm of a red alert sounded.  She was sleeping on his chest with her arms draped over him, and she sat up when she heard the alarm.  She saw the red light flashing above her door seconds before her commbadge chirped to life. 

_Captain Janeway to the bridge, came Tuvok's voice. _

Chakotay was instantly awake as well, and they were both out of bed and dressed in a flash.  They practically ran out the door and down the hallway to the turbolift.  When they arrived on the bridge, it was alive with activity.  Normally, only one senior officer would be on duty during the night shift, but they had divided the senior staff up equally, with the Captain and Chakotay taking alpha shift, Mark and Talia taking beta shift, and Tuvok and Harry taking gamma shift. 

"Report," she barked as she exited the turbolift. 

"I believe we have been detected," Tuvok told her as he headed for his station. 

"What?" 

"I think we hit some kind of sensor grid," said Harry.  "It detected us and overloaded the cloaking device."

She and Chakotay took their chairs.  "Anything on long-range sensors?" 

"Not yet," said Harry. 

"I will attempt to boost the range of the sensors," said Seven as she entered the bridge.  "Is it possible that the vessels are cloaked?" 

"Not that I'm aware of," said the Captain.  "As far as Starfleet's concerned, the Dominion doesn't have cloaking technology." 

Seven worked at her console for a few tense minutes before she turned to Harry.  "Anything?" 

Harry watched his station carefully and was rewarded with a series of beeps.  "I'm picking up four ships on long-range sensors." 

"I have them as well.  They appear to be Jem'Hadar warships," said Tuvok.  "They are on an intercept course." 

The Captain stiffened.  "Janeway to Engineering." 

_Lieutenant Carey here, ma'am._

"Lieutenant, we need that cloaking device up and running." 

_We're working on it, but the power grid's completely fused.  It could take all night to repair it._

"Well then, we're going to need all the power we can get out of the engines.  How long can we sustain maximum warp?" 

_Twelve, fourteen hours at most.__  I'll see if I can stretch that out._

"Get on it.  Wake Lieutenant Torres up if you have to." 

_Yes, ma'am._

"I will assist them," said Seven. 

The Captain nodded at her and turned to the helm.  "Ensign, take us up to maximum warp.  Let's see if we can outrun them." 

She sat back in her chair and looked at Chakotay beside her.  "That bridge you mentioned?  It's here."

*    *    *

"Lieutenant?" asked Captain Janeway for the third time in fifteen minutes. 

"Nothing," said Talia, who was covering Ops.  "I think we've finally lost them." 

She sighed with relief. 

_Torres to the bridge._

"Go ahead." 

_I suggest we take it down a notch unless you want to burn out the core.  That's about all I can give you for now._

"Good work, Lieutenant." 

That was the second time they had been forced to decrease speed – they had been trying to outrun the Jem'Hadar ships for almost twenty-seven hours.  The ships had been on their tail the entire time, even after they had engaged the cloaking device about six hours after they had first set off the sensor grid.  Although the Jem'Hadar  had always stayed near the edge of the range of their sensors, Captain Janeway nevertheless had a sinking feeling they were being tracked. 

She sat in her chair and let out a breath that it felt like she had been holding for the past twenty-seven hours. 

"Tom," she said, "Take us down to warp 8 but keep an eye out for anything on sensors." 

"Yes, ma'am."  After he made the change, he swiveled in his chair.  "You two should really get some rest.  You've been on duty what – twenty-four hours?" 

"Twenty-seven, but who's counting?" 

"You even sent _Tuvok to get some rest, for crying out loud." _

"I'll be in my ready room," she said, ignoring Tom and getting up out of her chair. 

She entered the room and made her way slowly over to the couch, where she sat down weakly and put her feet up.  Laying her head back against the couch, she slowly closed her eyes.  The stress of the past twenty-seven hours was finally catching up with her, and she allowed herself to drift off slightly.  She wasn't really asleep – she hadn't been really asleep since they had made it through the wormhole.  She was always half-awake, waiting for the jarring blow from a torpedo or the siren of a red alert, and by now she was well used to getting a few minutes of sleep while remaining alert. 

She wasn't sure how long she had been sitting like that when the alarm sounded for another red alert and a voice came over her commbadge. 

_Chakotay to Janeway – I think you'd better get out here._

She jumped off the couch and nearly ran to the doors to the bridge.  "What is it?" she demanded as she made her way over to her chair. 

Chakotay's face was grim.  "More ships ahead of us.  At least ten." 

"Can we avoid them?" 

He shook his head.  "I think they've detected our cloaking signature.  That's probably why they were still able to follow us after we reengaged the cloaking device." 

"How long until we intercept them?" 

He shrugged.  "An hour.  Two at most." 

She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose before slowly taking her seat.  "Beware the Ides of March," she muttered under her breath. 

"Kathryn?" 

She gave him a sad smile.  "Julius Caesar – today's March 15th." 

He chuckled and shook his head.  "Well, that's looking on the bright side.  We've been in worse scrapes than this." 

"I know," she said.  "And despite the bad omen of the date, I have a good feeling about today."

*    *    *

"We are closing on their position, Captain," reported Tuvok. 

The Captain nodded her acknowledgement.  "All hands, this is the Captain.  Secure all stations and prepare to engage the enemy."  She turned back to Tuvok.  "Tuvok, I want you to be ready with the shields the second we drop the cloak, but hold off as long as possible.  I don't want to negate the possibility that they're bluffing." 

"From what I have learned of the Dominion, Captain," replied the Vulcan,  "They do not bluff." 

"Let's hope you're wrong." 

"They're closing fast," said Tom. 

"They're powering weapons," added Harry, the tension apparent in his voice. 

"Tom, take us out of warp," ordered the Captain calmly.  Chakotay and possibly Tuvok were the only ones who could detect the apprehension in her voice. 

"Twenty seconds to intercept," announced Tom. 

She held her hand up in Tuvok's direction to tell him to keep them cloaked.  As the Dominion ships grew larger on the viewscreen, she was just about to drop her hand when one of the ships fired a torpedo at them.  Voyager, being cloaked, had no shields, and the torpedo exploded on the saucer section, causing everyone on the bridge to be tossed around. 

"Hull breaches on decks 3 through 5!" yelled Harry over the noise. 

"Now, Tuvok!" yelled the Captain, too late.  Tuvok decloaked the ship and brought the shields up.  "Try hailing them!" she yelled in Harry's direction. 

He shook his head.  "They're not responding." 

"Tom, evasive maneuvers," ordered Chakotay. 

"Ready photon torpedoes.  Fire at will." 

Voyager fired a series of photon torpedoes at the Dominion ships, and although they hit their targets they did not appear to do much damage. 

"We have disabled the weapons array of one of their ships," reported Tuvok. 

"Captain, I'm reading a massive energy buildup on their lead ship," said Harry urgently. 

She turned to the viewscreen, but couldn't see anything unusual until a pulse shot from one of the ships and the bridge shook. 

"What the hell was that?" 

Mark and Talia were at the Engineering station, and they looked at each other in horror. 

"The Breen weapon!" yelled Mark, and he jumped away from the Engineering station and started to run over to Ops. 

Before he got there, Harry began to panic at his console and lights began to flicker around the bridge. 

"Captain, whatever that thing was, it's draining power from all over the ship!  We've lost main power, navigation…"

"Shields and weapons are offline," announced Tuvok. 

"Harry, can you get main power back online?" 

He shook his head.  "I don't know what that thing did.  It could take hours to…"

"They are firing," said Tuvok suddenly, interrupting Harry. 

A pair of torpedoes flew at Voyager and connected directly with the hull since shields were down.  Consoles all over the bridge exploded. 

Out of the corner of her eye, the Captain saw Ops go up in a flurry of smoke and sparks and saw Harry go down.  She and Chakotay were standing next to each other in front of the railing that separated the command chairs and the helm, and he steadied her with one arm as they tried to regain their balance. 

"Get those emergency power cells!" she yelled in Mark's general direction, who was standing behind the command chairs near Ops. 

Seven helped him drag one out and over to in front of Harry's console.  Seven wired the power cell into the main power grid. 

"I believe I can restore emergency power," she said as she worked.  "Prepare to raise shields." 

After a few tense seconds, she nodded at Tuvok.  "Raising shields," announced Tuvok as the ships fired again, but he was too late to prevent the first torpedo from hitting near the bridge. 

Captain Janeway thought she heard someone yell at her in warning as an explosion rocked the bridge and consoles exploded, but before she could turn around to see who it was, something hit her, hard, and everything went black.

*    *    *

Tuvok pulled himself up off the floor and looked around at what was left of the bridge.  It was hard to see anything for the smoke, so he couldn't tell if anyone was seriously injured.  Checking his station, he was relieved to see that the Jem'Hadar ships had left – for now, anyways.  He didn't have time to wonder why they would leave when Voyager was defenseless.  They had to take advantage of the Jem'Hadar's retreat while it lasted and leave the area. 

He saw movement out of the corner of his eye, and when he looked over he saw Lieutenant Oren limping towards him, her hand on her side. 

"Lieutenant, we must try and restore main power," he said, stepping around his station.  She nodded and walked over to Ops and started working, glancing at Harry's unmoving form crumpled on the floor.  She was only able to work for a few seconds before she looked at him again.  She turned back to her console, but then stepped away and grabbed a medkit. 

"Lieutenant?" said Tuvok. 

"I know we need main power," she said, turning to look at him as she crouched next to Harry.  "But won't it be easier to get the ship up and running if we have some help?" 

He nodded his acknowledgement as she scanned Harry with a tricorder. 

"He's got second and third degree burns to his upper body, but he'll be okay."  She looked around the bridge and then got up and walked with the medkit over to the helm, stepping around the large pile of debris near the middle of the bridge.  Tom Paris was slumped across his station, but when she felt for a pulse it was strong.  Scanning him, she discovered he only had a mild concussion, so she grabbed a hypospray and applied it to his neck.  He came to with a groan after a few seconds. 

"Come on," she said, taking his arm to help him up, "We need a medic." 

He nodded with his hand pressed to his head, and moved away from his station to treat the rest of the injured bridge crew.

Chakotay could hear people moving around and shouting, but it took him a moment to be alert enough to hear what they were saying.  It was difficult for him to think straight, but as far as he could tell he was uninjured.  He opened his eyes, but couldn't see anything at first – there was something on top of him.  He lifted his head up, and tried to push it off him.  It was heavy – it felt like a piece of the roof – and he wasn't able to move it very far at first.  The debris suddenly gave way, and he saw why when he made out Tom's face on the other side, pulling the large chunk of roof plating off him. 

"You all right, Commander?" asked Talia, who appeared beside him and helped to push the debris out of the way. 

He nodded.  As they cleared more of the debris away, he could see that he had very narrowly missed being pinned under a heavy beam that had fallen from the ceiling.  He let out a sharp breath at his narrow escape, but his relief vanished when he remembered that Kathryn had been standing next to him.  He turned his head to the side, and the color drained from his face he saw her hand projecting from under the fallen beam.  He frantically looked around for any other sign of her, and his eyes fell on her familiar reddish-brown hair.  Her head was turned away from him, so he couldn't tell if she was awake, but it looked like her entire upper body was pinned under the beam. 

"Kathryn," he said hoarsely, trying to subdue his panic. 

Tom followed his gaze and paled when he saw her inert form trapped under the massive beam.  He turned around.  "Tuvok, we need some help over here!"

The first thing that Kathryn was aware of was a hand on her chin turning her head to the side.  She could hear voices, but it sounded like they were very far away.  She felt somebody's fingers press into her neck. 

"I've got a pulse," said Tom's voice. 

"Is she conscious?"  That sounded like Chakotay, she thought, but why is he so far away? 

"I don't think so," came Tom's voice again.  "Captain, can you hear me?" 

She realized that she should answer him, but when she tried to nothing happened.  The hand on her face was pulled away, and after a few seconds she was able to open her eyes.  Everything was blurry, and she thought she could see her officers gathered but they seemed to be very far away.  She turned her head a little, but couldn't see anything but gray metal in front of her before her eyes closed again. 

"We've got to get this thing off her," she heard Talia say. 

"Tuvok, Mark, help me lift it," said Tom. 

She heard them grunting and could hear what sounded like metal creaking.  She heard a loud crash, and then became aware of the incredible pain in her torso.  She groaned, and felt a hand on the side of her face.

"Captain?  Can you hear me?" asked Talia. 

She groaned again and could hear the beeping of a tricorder. 

"She's got internal injuries, a broken rib, a punctured lung, and three ruptured vertebrae," said Tom grimly.

"Go check on Chakotay," said Talia. 

Finally getting her eyes open, she saw Talia kneeling beside her.  "Report," she said, but it came out as a whisper. 

"The Jem'Hadar are gone.  We're going to try and get main power up and running before they come back."

The Captain tried to push herself up but gasped as pain shot up her back. 

"Don't try to move," said Talia.  "You were pinned under one of the beams that fell from the ceiling." 

"Chakotay?" she whispered. 

Tom came back over and knelt down beside her.  "Nothing worse than a bump on the head.  This should help control some of the internal bleeding and the pain."  She felt the hiss of a hypospray on her neck, and her mind cleared as some of the pain from her injuries dissipated. 

She nodded, and grabbed Lieutenant Oren's shoulder in an attempt to pull herself up. 

"Captain, that's not a good idea…" began Tom, but when she glared at him he stopped and moved over to help her up.  She clenched her teeth to ignore the searing pain from her ruptured vertebrae, and it hurt to breathe. 

When she was standing, leaning on Tom and Talia, she looked for Chakotay and saw Tuvok helping to pull him out from under the debris.  He was conscious but still looked a little woozy, and he had a nasty looking gash on his head. 

"You okay?" she asked when he looked at her.  He nodded, but didn't ask her how she was doing because he could see for himself that she was badly injured, having seen her completely pinned under the beam.

Chakotay waved Tuvok off, so he moved over to his station.  Tom helped the Captain over to the railing near Ops, but left her when Mark called him over to Seven's unconscious form stretched out on the floor.

"Is she all right?" asked Janeway as Tom knelt down and ran his tricorder over Seven, who had a massive head wound. 

He shook his head.  "She's got major head trauma – some of her cranial implants are shutting down.  She needs to get to Sickbay _now."_

The Captain turned to Talia beside her.  "Have we got transporters?" 

Talia moved gingerly over to Ops, clutching her side.  Entering a few commands on the console, she shook her head.  "That power cell that Mark and Seven got hooked up is keeping the shields up, but that's about it…we've barely got emergency power." 

Seven moved slightly with a small groan and her eyes fluttered open.  She looked around without moving, then said in a small voice, "I'm injured." 

The Captain noticed with a small smile that Seven referred to herself as being injured, not 'damaged' as she usually did.  Mark knelt down next to her and tried to reassure her. 

"Don't worry, Seven – we'll have transporters up in no time.  You know how efficient this crew can be."

She managed a small smile at that.  Tom started to get up, but before he did, he put his hand on Mark's shoulder and spoke quietly to him. 

"Try to keep her alert and talking to you."  Mark nodded, and Tom went to check on Harry, who was still unconscious.  Tom didn't want to wake him until he had a chance to treat his burns, and that's what he moved over to do now.  While he pulled out a dermal regenerator, the Captain tried to ignore the waves of pain that were intruding on her thoughts and turned to Tuvok at his station as Chakotay came up behind her and put his hand comfortingly on her arm. 

"Any sign of the Dominion ships?" she asked, still leaning heavily on the railing. 

"Not on short-range sensors," said Tuvok. 

"Damage reports?" asked Chakotay. 

"Negative – the comm systems are down." 

"Somebody needs to get down to Engineering," said Talia.  "We might be able to get some of the primary systems up from there." 

"I'm sure B'Elanna's already on it," said the Captain.  She looked over at Tom, and saw the pained look on his face.  She could only imagine how concerned he was about his wife and daughter, and was moved by the pleading look in his eye.  When he saw the pity on her face, he realized that he was needed on the bridge, so he took a shaky breath and returned to treating Harry's burns. 

"Tom," she said quietly, and he looked up and knew instantly what she was asking. 

"I'm almost finished with Harry, and he'll be fine as soon as I wake him up.  There's nothing else I can do for the rest of you until I get some more medical equipment." 

She nodded.  "When you're done with Harry, get down to Engineering and get a status report.  On your way back, stop at Sickbay and get whatever equipment you can carry.  Tell B'Elanna that shields, weapons, and the comm system are our first priorities.  Transporters too, if she can manage it." 

"Yes ma'am," he said, the relief visible in his eyes.  He gave Harry's face a final pass with the dermal regenerator and returned it to the medkit, grabbing a hypospray.  He applied it to Harry's neck and his friend's eyes opened slowly. 

"What…" he said groggily. 

"Back to work, Harry," said Tom, slapping him on the shoulder as he got up.  He nodded his appreciation to the Captain as he made his way over to the jeffries tube and climbed in. 

"I'll be back," he said with a grin, and then he was gone. 

Harry slowly pulled himself up to his station and worked with Talia to restore power. 

"It looks like there's some kind of dampening field around the ship," he said.  "If we can find the source we might be able to block it.  Talia?" 

The Trill woman nodded and started to work, but after a moment shut her eyes and gripped the edge of the station with such force that her knuckles turned white. 

Harry noticed that she was in pain, so he gently pushed her aside.  "I'll do it.  Maybe you should sit down."

She opened her mouth to protest, but quickly thought better of it nodded before leaning against the wall behind Harry with her eyes closed.  Harry continued working but without success. 

Captain Janeway was trying to think of a solution, but it was hard to think straight when it felt like her spine was being slowly ripped out of her body. 

"What if we…" she began to suggest, but another wave of pain came over her and her voice faltered.  She started to sway on her feet and her vision blurred, but then she felt Chakotay grab her by the elbows and keep her upright. 

"Kathryn?" 

She shook her head gently in his direction and took a deep breath, steeling herself against the pain.  "Harry, try rerouting what power we have through the main deflector." 

He nodded.  While they were waiting to see if he would be successful, Tuvok claimed the Captain's attention. 

"I am detecting a vessel approaching," he said. 

She turned her head towards his station, trying to fight off the darkness that was closing in on her peripheral vision. 

"Dominion?"  It was getting more difficult for her to talk – the pressure on her chest from her punctured lung was increasing, and it felt like somebody was squeezing her lungs. 

"I do not believe so," he said.  "But the sensors are barely functioning.  It appears to be a smaller vessel than the Jem'Hadar ships." 

She tried to think for a moment, but it was getting harder and harder to keep her mind clear. 

"Can we hail them?" she asked finally. 

"Yes!" exclaimed Harry excitedly as he made a breakthrough at his station.  "I can give you an audio comm channel, but I'm not sure how long I can keep it up." 

"Do it," she ordered.  "This is Captain Janeway of the Starship Voyager – please identify yourselves." 

After a tense few seconds, a distorted reply could be heard over the comm. 

_Good............__Voyager.  This............lower your shields and.........__rescue......__aboard._

"Doesn't sound like the Dominion," commented Mark. 

"Should I lower the shields, Captain?" asked Tuvok. 

The darkness was closing fast from the edge of her vision, and she struggled to think clearly.  It was nearly impossible to keep her thoughts focused on anything other than the terrible agony pulsing through her body.  She was able to bring herself back to the situation at hand when she heard Mark exclaim quietly.

"Starfleet," he breathed.  Louder, he repeated.  "It's Starfleet!" 

"What?" said the Captain, trying with increasing difficulty to keep her mind grounded. 

She vaguely heard Tuvok speak to her again.  "Confirmed.  The signature is Starfleet." 

Wondering if she was hallucinating, she wanted to ask him to repeat it, but her head swam and she was unable to form the words.  The pain in her chest was getting worse, and it took a great deal of effort for her to draw a breath to speak.  She heard Chakotay ask Tuvok to lower the shields, but she never heard Tuvok's reply.  The last thing she was aware of was Chakotay calling her name frantically as she sank down to the ground. 


	4. The Return

DISCLAIMER:   You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

SUMMARY:  Voyager is aided by a surprise ally and successfully returns to the Alpha quadrant.

THE LONG ROAD HOME

PARADISE LOST

CHAPTER FOUR : THE RETURN

Clawing through the fog in her brain, Captain Janeway tried to figure out what was going on.  She couldn't remember what had happened or where she was.  After a moment's struggle, it all came back to her in a rush – the wormhole.  The Jem'Hadar.  A ship approaching.

She was aware of people around her, and after a few seconds of confusion felt a hand on her shoulder.  She tensed immediately – the presence was unfamiliar.  After seven years, she could tell her senior staff apart from anyone else, but she didn't even think that the hand belonged to a member of her crew.  Her suspicion was confirmed when she heard an unfamiliar voice, male with a slight accent. 

"I think she's coming around." 

She felt a hand touch her arm, but this one was comforting and familiar, and it was accompanied by a voice she knew well. 

"Kathryn?" 

She slowly opened her eyes and saw Chakotay kneeling in front of her, concern lining his face.  She saw his shoulders slump in relief when she met his gaze, and he smiled affectionately at her. 

"How are you feeling, Captain?" 

She turned her gaze to the unfamiliar speaker, and saw a young man with dark hair kneeling beside her opposite Chakotay.  She was sitting on the ground with her back leaning against the railing in front of Ops, and surprisingly she wasn't in pain any more. 

"Better," she replied hoarsely.  "Who…" Her voice failed her when she noticed how the man was dressed – he was wearing a familiar gray outfit with a blue turtleneck poking out the top of his jacket, adorned with two solid pips.  A newer Starfleet uniform. 

He smiled at her surprise and extended his hand.  "Dr. Julian Bashir," he introduced himself.  "Deep Space Nine." 

"You came through the wormhole," she said quietly. 

He gave her a small lopsided grin.  "Admiral Paris thought you might want an escort.  He sent us in the Defiant." 

Chakotay, knowing the first thing that would come to her mind when the shock of their rescue passed, interrupted them and started speaking to her just as the thought first crossed her mind. 

"We've almost managed to disable the dampening field." 

"Casualties?" 

"None," he said, but she could tell he was holding something back. 

"Seven?" she asked cautiously. 

He sighed.  "We used the Defiant's transporters to beam her to Sickbay.  The Doctor's working on her now.  She…might not make it." 

She nodded and put her hand on his shoulder to pull herself up.  She wobbled for a moment, lightheaded, but quickly steadied herself and looked around the bridge.  There were more lights on than before, and there was now a flurry of activity, with crewmen moving back and forth in an attempt to get the ship back up and running.  Most of them she recognized as her crew, but there was the occasional unfamiliar face wearing a newer Starfleet uniform mixed in among the workers. 

_Torres to the bridge._

"Go ahead," said Chakotay. 

_We're in business.  We've got the engines and the cloaking device back online._

"Good work, B'Elanna," said the Captain as she moved slowly over to her chair. 

Chakotay took his chair as well and hit his commbadge.  "Chakotay to Commander Kira." 

"Kira here," replied a voice, but it came from behind them rather than over the comm. 

Janeway turned around to see a red-haired Bajoran woman step out of the turbolift accompanied by a young Ferengi.  Both were wearing Starfleet uniforms. 

Chakotay turned around in his seat as well.  "I think we're ready to get going," he said,  "If you want to get your teams back to the Defiant." 

Kira nodded, then noticed the woman sitting in the chair beside Chakotay.  "Captain Janeway," she said, surprised and pleased to see her awake. 

"That's right," said the Captain with an amused smile. 

"Commander Kira Nerys, Deep Space Nine," said the woman, extending her hand as she moved around the bridge to the command chairs.  Captain Janeway took the hand warmly and smiled. 

"You can't imagine how glad I am to see you," she told the Bajoran. 

"Likewise, Captain.  It's a pleasure to finally meet you."  Kira hit her commbadge.  "Kira to all rescue teams – prepare to return to the Defiant." 

"Are there any sign of Dominion ships?" the Captain asked Tuvok. 

"Negative, Captain." 

She sighed with relief and turned her attention to Kira when she addressed the Captain. "I had one of my officers assist your chief engineer with the cloaking device.  We've modified it so the Dominion won't be able to detect it." 

The Captain was surprised.  "Your staff has experience with cloaking technology." 

Kira was surprised too, but then remembered that what was common knowledge in the Alpha quadrant wouldn't necessarily be known on Voyager. 

"The Defiant is equipped with a cloaking device," she explained.  "That's why they sent us after you." 

Julian packed up his medical equipment and walked over to stand next to Kira.  "Ready when you are."

She nodded.  "Hopefully we'll get a chance to get better acquainted at Deep Space Nine, Captain." 

"Hopefully." 

"Kira to the Defiant." 

_Go ahead, sir._

"Lock on to the rescue teams and beam us back, Ensign." 

The Defiant crew assembled on the bridge dematerialized, and when they were gone the Captain sat back in her chair and looked slowly around the bridge.  There was still smoke hanging in the air, and much of the debris was piled over by the science station.  While she was surveying the damage, she saw the Defiant on the viewscreen start to power up its thrusters, and after a few seconds it cloaked.  She noticed her officers looking at her expectantly.  Harry and Talia were both at Ops, looking ready to jump out of their skins with anticipation.  Tuvok was watching her from his station with a raised eyebrow.  Tom was turned around at the helm and appeared eager to pounce on the controls. 

She finally turned her gaze to Chakotay beside her.  He was watching her with such undisguised satisfaction and pride that she was transfixed for several seconds before she looked around the bridge again.

"What are you waiting for, Mr. Paris?" she asked wryly.  "Match their course and speed.  Tuvok, engage the cloaking device." 

They complied, and Voyager shadowed the smaller Defiant and followed it when it jumped to warp.

*    *    *

_Captain's personal log, Stardate 55236.5.__  After nearly seven years, we are mere hours away from the Alpha quadrant.  I'm relieved that we've seen no sign of the Dominion in the 10 days since we encountered the Defiant, and the crew is ecstatic._

_Even Seven of Nine, of all people, seems to be showing signs of anticipation.  I can't help but wonder if her most recent brush with her own mortality is responsible.  We very nearly lost her after the Jem'Hadar attack – it took the Doctor hours to stabilize her condition, and even now she hasn't fully recovered.  I can tell that she was quite shaken by the incident.  Whether her new attitude towards our imminent return to the Alpha quadrant is due to her injury or to something else I can't say, but I'm glad to see it._

_I find myself, however, unable completely share the crew's enthusiasm.  Despite the fact that getting this crew home has been my goal for nearly seven years, the closer we get to home the more I realize what I'm going to lose when I get there.  My crew…__my ship…__my career…_

"Captain, we're approaching the coordinates of the wormhole," announced Harry, unable to keep the almost child-like excitement from his voice. 

"Take us out of warp, Tom," ordered the Captain quietly.  "Onscreen." 

An unimpressive view of space appeared on the viewscreen. 

"Doesn't look like much," cracked Tom, but underneath his joking exterior the Captain could detect the undercurrent of emotion and anticipation in his voice. 

"The Defiant's hailing us," Harry told the Captain. 

She nodded at him and Kira appeared on the screen, seated in the isolated Captain's chair on the Defiant.

"We're about to enter the wormhole." 

Captain Janeway nodded. "We'll be right behind you.  See you in the Alpha quadrant." 

The Commander nodded with a smile and the screen went blank.  They saw the Defiant angle into a slow turn, and suddenly a large blue and white vortex opened in front of the small ship.  Eyes on the bridge went wide at the sight. 

"Six years, eleven months," whispered Kathryn. 

"Captain?" said Chakotay. 

"That's how long we've been waiting for this," she said a little louder, barely containing her emotions.  "Six years, eleven months, three days, and this morning." 

He reached over and put his hand on top of hers on her armrest, and she put her other hand on top of his and squeezed it. 

"Take us in, Mr. Paris," she ordered softly. 

"Yes, ma'am," he said.  B'Elanna, who had come up to the bridge for the momentous occasion, walked behind him and put her hand on his shoulder. 

Voyager entered the wormhole and was immersed in a sea of breathtaking colors.  The entire crew watched in silence as the ship traveled through the anomaly, and the silence was only broken by Tom when they were nearing the end. 

"We're almost clear," he said quietly, stealing an emotional glance at his wife. 

They exited the wormhole, and when they saw Deep Space Nine just a short distance away, there was hardly a dry eye on the bridge.  Even Tuvok and Seven were moved by the scene. 

"We're in the Alpha quadrant," said Harry, too awed to realize that everyone had realized that by now.  "They've given us permission to dock." 

"You heard him, Mr. Paris." 

Tom nodded and maneuvered Voyager closer to the station, bringing her in to one of the docking pillars.

Harry frowned at his console.  "Captain?  They're refusing us permission to disembark.  They want to beam aboard." 

The reality of her situation hit home and Captain Janeway stiffened immediately.  Chakotay picked up on it and looked at her in concern before turning to Harry. 

"I'm sure it's just until we've been debriefed, Harry," he said with a smile he didn't feel. 

The Captain got up slowly out of her chair. 

"All hands, this is the Captain." 

She took a deep shaky breath and blinked back tears. When she spoke again, her voice was cracking. 

"I've been waiting nearly seven years to say this – we have returned to the Alpha quadrant."  Losing control, she had to pause a moment before she could continue.  "Secure your stations and stand by for your orders.  We'll be setting a course for Earth shortly." 

She looked around the bridge at the elation on the faces of her senior staff. 

"Welcome home," she said softly. 

She nodded at Harry to cut the channel and then turned to the console behind her chairs.  "Commander Walker, you have the bridge."  She nodded at Chakotay to follow her, and as an afterthought turned back around.  "Tom?" 

He thought for a moment then nodded, getting up to follow her to the turbolift. 

"Deck four," she ordered as soon as the doors closed.  She felt Chakotay's hand on the small of her back, and despite Tom's presence she allowed the contact, needing the comfort. 

"You really think my dad's here?" said Tom finally, guessing why she had asked him to accompany her.

"He's the one who sent the Defiant to rendezvous with us.  I'll bet he wanted to be here to meet us.  Not to mention get a look at his granddaughter." 

Tom chuckled uneasily.  "Who'd have thought after all these years I'd still be nervous to see him again."

"I'm sure the feeling is mutual," she assured him.  "But I happen to know he's quite proud of you." 

She had debated for a moment before asking Tom to join her, because she had a sinking feeling that Admiral Paris would not be alone – that she was going to get dressed down here and now, before Voyager's return became public knowledge.  She knew Owen was behind her, but she couldn't shake the feeling of apprehension that came over her.  She was reluctant to let any of her staff see her this vulnerable, but she trusted Tom enough to let him accompany her.  Of course she wanted Chakotay there, but she thought she would be able to draw comfort from Tom's presence as well. 

"You're dismissed," she told Ensign Lang at the transporter controls when they entered the room.  The young woman nodded enthusiastically and left the room with a bounce in her step. 

Chakotay moved to the transporter controls and waited for a signal from Kathryn.  She squared her shoulders and took a deep breath, then nodded in his direction. 

Three forms materialized on the transporter pad – Admiral Paris, Admiral Hayes, and Admiral Necheyev.  A chill ran down her spine at their grim faces as Admiral Hayes stepped forward to address her. 

"I understand you disobeyed orders, Captain," he said sternly. 

"Yes, sir.  I take full responsibility for my actions in this matter." 

"Did you enter Dominion space?" asked Hayes. 

"No, sir." 

"Did you violate the terms of our surrender agreement with the Dominion?" 

"No, sir.  We were attacked by a group of Jem'Hadar and defended ourselves." 

"To your knowledge, did you violate the Prime Directive or any other Starfleet directives, other than disobeying your orders?" 

"No, sir." 

She was starting to wonder why he was taking this line of questioning here, in the transporter room.  She had expected this, certainly, but in the privacy of a debriefing. 

"There will be consequences, Captain," said Hayes gravely.  He glanced back at the other two Admirals, and when he turned back to Janeway there was a grin on his face.  "You might have to wait a year or two before you make Admiral." 

She stared at him, not really comprehending until Necheyev, who was notorious for being cold and unemotional, stepped forward and offered her hand to Captain Janeway. 

"Welcome home, Captain." 

The Captain took it warmly and returned the gesture, a smile slowly working at the corners of her mouth.  Hayes also offered to shake her hand, and she took it eagerly.  She saw Admiral Paris step towards Tom and offer his hand. 

"Good to see you, Tom," he said. 

"You too, Dad," replied Tom with more emotion than he usually showed where his father was concerned.  The two men shook hands warmly, then Owen turned to his former protégé. 

"Good to see you, Kathryn," he said warmly, then enveloped her in a fatherly hug.  She returned it, and tears sprung to her eyes as the magnitude of her success hit home.  As she pulled away from Admiral Paris, she stole a glance at Chakotay and their eyes met.  Seven years of hardships and triumphs passed between them at that moment.  Seven years of trust, disagreements, rebuilding, friendship, and lately so much more.  It took all their willpower to subdue the emotions that were no doubt apparent on their faces.  If anyone noticed, they tactfully kept it to themselves. 

After a moment, she cleared her throat and turned to the Admirals.  "With your permission, we'll be on our way," she said with a smile.  When they nodded, she hit her commbadge.  "Janeway to the bridge." 

_Go ahead, said Mark over the comm. _

"Lay in a course for Earth, warp 9." 

_Yes, ma'am._

"How long till we're there?" Chakotay asked him. 

There was a slight pause before Ensign Hawthorne's voice came over the comm. _Twenty-seven days, five hours, sir._

"Thank you, Ensign," said the Captain, and she turned to say something to her companions, but stopped when she realized something. 

"Captain?" said Chakotay. 

She simply stared at him with her mouth open slightly.  "Twenty-seven days," she repeated quietly, wondering if anyone else had grasped the significance of that. 

She realized that they hadn't when Chakotay, Tom, and the three Admirals looked at each other in puzzlement. 

"A journey of twenty-seven days," she explained softly, "Will put our arrival at Earth on April 25th." 

The significance of this hit home with the rest of the group and their eyes widened. 

"The anniversary of when we got stranded in the Delta quadrant."  She looked at Chakotay with her eyebrow raised. 

His surprised expression slowly faded as he looked at her and he smiled.

*    *    *

_Captain's Log, supplemental.  I've been waiting far too long to make this log entry.  Voyager has successfully returned to the Alpha quadrant, and we have set a course for Earth at maximum warp.  The Admirals are staying on board, and they have informed me that they wish to begin the debriefing process en route, so the crew will not be detained as long once we reach home._

Kathryn entered her quarters distractedly rubbing the back of her neck with one hand.  The lights were off, so she assumed that Chakotay was already asleep and moved quietly around the room.  She had just finished another meeting with the Admirals, and although it hadn't gone quite as well as she'd hoped, she was satisfied with where they seemed to stand with respect to her actions in the Delta quadrant.  Unfortunately, she knew that Paris, Hayes, and Necheyev were probably her biggest supporters, so she till had no idea what to expect when they reached Earth. 

Stepping quietly into the bedroom, she could see Chakotay laying in the bed, asleep.  She smiled and moved over to the dresser, pulling out her nightgown.  She stripped her uniform off and pulled the soft material over her head, then moved over to the bed.  She climbed under the sheets beside Chakotay, trying not to wake him.  She realized that she had been unsuccessful when his arm went immediately around her waist and he spoke in her ear. 

"How did it go?" 

She shrugged.  "The Admirals were less than impressed with the initial behavior of some of the Maquis, but after meeting some of them I don't think there's going to be any problems." 

He reached over and ran his fingers along her cheek, and she rolled over on the bed to face him. 

"We did it, Chakotay.  Seven years, but we did it.  We're _home."_

"I never doubted you for a second.  You should see the crew – it's like they're walking on air." 

She smiled.  "I haven't had a chance to talk with many of them." 

"Tell you what – why don't you start deserting the Admirals at lunch and join me in the mess hall.  That way, we'll get to have lunch and you'll be available to talk to the crew." 

She smiled.  "You've got yourself a deal." 

Following his train of thought, he brought up something else that was on his mind.  "How much are you going to tell the Admirals about us?" 

"I don't see that it's any of their business." 

"If you don't want them to know, I could find somewhere else to stay.  A few people have already had to double up to make room for the Admirals – one more person won't make any difference." 

"No," she said, shaking her head.  "No," she repeated, in a softer voice with a small smile.  She reached over and put her hand on his bare chest.  "You're not going anywhere.  I'd like to keep this…private…but I'm not going to hide anything.  If they find out, then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Mmm-hmm," she said, nodding and trying to conceal a yawn.  When she saw that he had noticed, she smiled.  "It's been a long day," she said, rolling back over so her back was against his chest. 

"And an eventful one," he replied, wrapping his arms around her. 

He watched her as her breathing slowed and she started to drift off.  He reached over and gently traced her jawline with his fingers, moving down towards her chin before running his fingertips across her lips, which curled up in a smile at the contact.  She gave a contented sigh and moved her head back slightly so his cheek was touching her hair. 

"I love you, Kathryn."  

He hadn't meant to say it out loud.  He lost track of how many times he said it to her in his head, but the words had formed on his lips before he even had a chance to think.  Although he knew she returned his affection, he sensed that she was still a little wary of commitment, and that moving in together had been a big step for her.  This was the first time he had told her he loved her, and she had never really put her feelings into words. 

When the words came out of his mouth, her eyes opened and she rolled over slightly to look at him.  He was unable to read the expression on her face, but he was afraid to trust that she was happy he had said it.

"Kathryn, I – I didn't – "

She silenced him by putting a finger on his lips.  "I love you, too," she whispered. 

She smiled demurely as the surprise on his face slowly gave way to happiness, then rolled over and shifted closer to him.  He pulled her tightly to his body, and they slowly drifted off to sleep.

*    *    *

The next morning, Chakotay was laying in their bed on his side with his head propped up on one elbow, watching Kathryn sleep.  Her face was illuminated by the soft glow of the stars streaking by, and she looked so peaceful that he didn't want to wake her.  She was laying on her back with her head to one side facing him, and her hair was spread out behind her head on the pillow. 

He could have stayed there watching her all morning, but he wasn't too disappointed when she moved slightly and then opened her eyes.  Seeing him watching her, she smiled shyly. 

"Good morning," she said, stretching. 

"Good morning.  Sleep well?" 

"Too well," she said, glancing at the chronometer and sitting up in bed with the sheet around her waist.  "Why didn't you wake me up?  I have a meeting with Admiral Hayes in twenty minutes." 

He reached over and put his hand alongside her face.  "You looked so beautiful laying there I didn't want to disturb you." 

She chuckled and gave him a playful shove. 

"I'll replicate breakfast while you take a shower," he offered, throwing his feet over the side of the bed.

She pouted.  "You're not going to join me?" 

He barely resisted the temptation.  "Not if you want to make it to your meeting." 

She sighed dramatically, but then smiled and moved towards the bathroom to take a long, hot shower, a real one – a sonic shower certainly wasn't going to wake her up. 

Chakotay got dressed and moved over to the replicator to get breakfast.  He thought for a moment before he smiled and punched in the commands for a breakfast that he had been wanting to prepare for her for years now.  When it was ready, he carried the plates over to the table and replicated some coffee as well.  He had just poured himself a cup when the chime on the door rang. 

"Come in," he said, blowing the steam off the top of the cup.  The mug nearly fell from his hands when the doors opened to admit Admiral Paris. 

The Admiral seemed surprised as well.  "Commander Chakotay – I'm sorry.  I thought these were Captain Janeway's quarters.  I didn't mean to intrude." 

It took Chakotay a minute to think before he could reply.  Kathryn had said she didn't want the Admirals to know unless it was necessary, but he wasn't sure if this situation qualified.  While trying to decide if she would want him to tell Paris the truth or not, the matter was solved when Kathryn stepped out of the bedroom in a white cloth robe, drying her hair with a towel. 

"Chakotay, I hope you've made some coffee because I'm…" Her voice trailed off as she moved the towel out of her face and saw Admiral Paris standing near the doorway. 

"Good morning, sir," she said after a minute.  She glanced at Chakotay nervously and then cleared her throat. 

"Admiral, I…"

He held up his hand to stop her.  "No need to explain, Captain.  I had suspicions that the two of you were involved…although I had no idea it was this serious.  Now I know why Tom suggested I wait until after you had your morning coffee to speak to you." 

She chuckled.  "Tom's not-so-subtle way of telling you that I wouldn't be alone this early in the morning.  I'm sorry I didn't tell you myself," she added after a second, watching for any sign of disapproval. 

He noticed her appraisal of him and smiled reassuringly.  "I don't have any objections, if that's what you're thinking, Captain." 

She let out a breath that she had been holding, but her relief evaporated when his expression became grave.

"Others, however, might," he continued.  "If there's anyone against you, they could use this to their advantage.  Protocol, you know." 

"Protocol," she repeated. 

"What do you mean, 'anyone against her?'" said Chakotay.  "Is there something you're not telling us?" 

Paris shook his head.  "No – just a feeling.  When I spoke with Headquarters about your safe return, I got the impression that not everyone is as willing to forget you disobeyed orders.  I still don't expect there'll be anything worse than a Board of Inquiry," he added hastily. 

"Do you really think so, Admiral?  I disobeyed a direct order from Admiral Blackwell – I was expecting at least a court-martial." 

"Starfleet can't afford to court-martial you right now.  The damage to their public image would be far to great.  They can't touch you, at least not publicly.  Some of the Admirals may see you as a Captain who disobeyed orders and risked a war with the Dominion, but you're perceived by the public as a Captain who fought against unthinkable odds and braved the Gamma and the Delta quadrants to bring your crew home."

She glanced at Chakotay.  "What about the Maquis?"

"I think they're safe.  The media is portraying them as your crew, not as terrorists.  They're heroes, and so are you, Captain.  Starfleet could use a few of those – they can't afford to reprimand you in view of the public." 

"What about in private?" asked Chakotay.  "What do you think they'll try?" 

"Like we said earlier, I think they'll keep you away from the promotion you deserve for as long as they can, but I doubt that will last more than a year or two." 

Kathryn and Chakotay looked at each other with relief. 

"Well, I can see I've interrupted your breakfast," said Paris. "So I'll see you shortly, Captain." 

She nodded and showed him to the door.  When it closed behind him, she took a deep breath and turned to Chakotay with a smile. 

"Well, that was easy." 

He grinned and brought her a cup of coffee.  She took a sip and savored the warm liquid flowing through her before she inhaled deeply and turned to him. 

"Whatever you put together, it smells lovely.  What is it?" 

He led her over to the table and held out the chair for her as she sat down.  "Eggs Benedict with asparagus, and strawberries and cream." 

"Oh," she said, touched.  "The first day I invited you for breakfast…almost seven years ago." 

"The best seven years of my life." 

She looked up at him.  "You mean that?" 

"Absolutely." 

She thought for a minute.  "You know, I think that goes for me as well.  I can't remember feeling this much…at home.  Anywhere." 

"You know what they say – home is where the heart is." 

She reached for the glass on the table as they sat down and lifted it up in a toast.  "To home." 

"To home."

*    *    *

"We're entering the system, Captain."  Harry was unable to hide the excitement in his voice. 

"Take us out of warp, Mr. Paris," ordered the Captain. 

"Yes, ma'am," replied Tom, as if he had never been so happy to follow an order from her. 

"Let's see it, Harry." 

An image of Earth appeared on the viewscreen.  Silence fell on the bridge as Captain Janeway slowly rose from her chair and moved a few steps towards the viewscreen.  The bridge was crowded – the entire senior staff, the three Admirals, and many other officers were gathered on the bridge to watch Voyager's final approach to Earth. 

"Orbital control is hailing us," announced Harry, breaking the awed silence. 

"Open a channel," ordered the Captain in a breaking voice.  "This is Captain Janeway of the U.S.S. Voyager requesting permission to enter orbit." 

_Welcome home, Voyager.  Permission to enter orbit denied – we've got instructions to let you land on the parade grounds at Headquarters._

"Understood."  The Captain took a few steps towards Tom and laid a hand on his shoulder.  "You heard the man, Tom – let's make an entrance." 

"Yes, ma'am," he said cheerfully. 

Voyager slowly descended through the atmosphere.  When they cleared the clouds, they had a breathtaking view of San Francisco bay. 

"Engaging atmospheric thrusters," said Tom.  "Deploying landing struts." 

He continued going through the landing sequence while the rest of the bridge crew stood awed at the sight of Starfleet Headquarters looming larger in front of them.  They could vaguely see a crowd of people gathered, waiting for their arrival. 

The Captain tore her gaze away from the viewscreen to look at Chakotay, who had left his chair to come stand behind her.  He smiled at her, and she returned the smile before looking at the rest of the bridge crew.  Harry looked like he wanted to take the helm himself just to get them there faster.  Seven, Mark, Talia, and B'Elanna were all mesmerized at the sight.  Neelix was just standing there amazed, and the Doctor appeared extremely proud of himself for some reason.  Tuvok, she noted with amusement, looked probably as close to excited as a Vulcan would ever get. 

She smiled to herself when she saw Admiral Paris – he was watching Tom with a mixture of wonder, admiration, and pride that she had seen directed at officers under his command but never before at his son.

Voyager set down lightly, and many of the officers on the bridge laughed and hugged each other.  B'Elanna moved over to embrace her husband at the helm. 

Captain Janeway stood in the middle of the bridge motionless, tears forming in her eyes.  She could see Starfleet Headquarters over near the edge of the viewscreen, and the Golden Gate bridge was barely visible between some of the high rises.  There was very little cloud cover, and the view was spectacular. 

She was startled out of her thoughts when Chakotay stepped closer and put his hands on her arms.  She turned her head to look at him, and reached up to put her hand on top of his. 

She pulled her attention away from him and turned to the others. 

"Harry, Mark, get to the transporter rooms and start coordinating the disembarkment." 

After a glance at Harry, Mark replied, "I'm sure I can handle this.  I think Harry should coordinate things from the ground." 

The entire bridge crew chuckled when Harry was unable to conceal his enthusiasm at an idea that would get him off the ship faster. 

"Do it." 

Mark nodded at Seven to accompany him, and Harry followed them into the turbolift.

*    *    *

Captain Janeway took one last look at the deserted bridge before she moved up the stairs and over to the turbolift where Chakotay was waiting. 

"It'll be a shame if they decommission her," she said sadly.  "We've been through a lot together.  This is probably going to sound strange, but I feel as close to Voyager as I do to any member of the crew." 

"Sounds perfectly normal to me.  She's a good ship."  He smiled and took her hand as she joined him in the turbolift. 

"Deck four," he ordered. 

They walked down the deserted corridor on the way to the transporter room. 

"It all seems so quiet," said Kathryn, looking around. 

She stopped for one last look when they reached the doors to the transporter room, then stepped on the pad with Chakotay.  Seven was alone at the transporter controls, and she set the controls for the transport before stepping up onto the pad with her commanding officers. 

When they materialized on the planet, the Captain was surprised at the sheer number of people around them.  It was so crowded there was barely room to move.  Looking around, she didn't immediately see anyone she recognized.   Beside her, she saw Seven shift uncomfortably out of the corner of her eye, and she put her hand on her arm reassuringly. 

"I know you don't like crowds, Seven," she said loud enough to be heard over the noise. 

"I'll adapt," she muttered wryly with a smile. 

Despite the Borg phrase, Seven actually looked more relaxed than the Captain would have expected, considering the circumstances.  She was wearing her uniform, and her hair was pulled back, falling down to her shoulder blades.  Even her facial expression seemed more human somehow. 

Naomi Wildman came running towards them.  "Seven!" she said.  "My father's here – come meet him!"  She reached out and took the ex-Borg's hand.  "And you should see what Cassandra has – her grandparents are here and they brought her cat.  Have you ever seen a cat before?  I haven't." 

As the excited child started to pull Seven away, the Captain called after her, "Seven – don't leave without seeing me again." 

She nodded her acknowledgement before following the young girl through the crowd. 

After a few minutes of moving through the crowd, stopping to talk occasionally with the crew and their families, Chakotay felt somebody pull at his pant leg.  Looking down, he saw a young girl standing next to him. 

He chuckled and squatted down so he was at her level.  "Do you know where Captain Janeway is?" asked the girl. 

He started to tell her, but stopped when he recognized the young girl.  It was Kathryn's niece. 

"I'm sure she'll be anxious to meet her favorite niece.  She's right over…"

He stood up to look for Kathryn, and it took him a few seconds to find her since they had been momentarily separated by the crowd.  She was standing close by, meeting Joe Carey's wife and children. 

"Come on," he told the young girl, taking her hand.  When they neared her, he cleared his throat.  "Captain?  Someone to see you." 

She looked at him in puzzlement before she glanced down and saw her niece holding his hand.  Her eyes widened and she smiled. 

"Auntie Kathryn!" said the girl excitedly, and she rushed over to embrace Captain Janeway as she knelt down to her level.  Kathryn stood up with the girl in her arms and a tearful smile on her face.  "Thank you," she mouthed to Chakotay, and he nodded. 

"Kathryn!  Mom, there she is!  Kathryn!" 

Chakotay and the Captain turned to the new voice and saw her mother and sister pushing her way towards them. 

"Katie!  There you are," said Phoebe as she saw her daughter in Kathryn's arms.  The girl jumped down and ran to her mother. 

"Mommy, I found her!" 

"I see that," said Phoebe, and she stepped forward to embrace her sister. 

Gretchen was next, and while Kathryn and her mother shared a tearful reunion, Phoebe introduced herself to Chakotay, even though they had already met over a comm channel.  She chatted with him for a few minutes while Kathryn and Gretchen talked.  When they were done, they turned to Chakotay and Phoebe.

"Kathryn's going to stay with us for a few days until she can find an apartment," said Gretchen.  "Perhaps you'd care to join us?" 

He and Kathryn had already discussed this, so Chakotay had his answer ready.  "Actually, I'm going to stay with Tom Paris and his wife in Marseilles for a few days." 

"If it's all right with you, Mom," said Kathryn.  "There is somebody else that I know who doesn't have a place to stay yet…"

*   *   *

Starfleet had given the senior staff a few days' reprieve before beginning the heavier debriefings that would be limited to the senior officers on board.  Most of the general crew was finished already, and they were dispersing across the planet and the sector, returning home or visiting loved ones. 

Kathryn had spent a few days in Indiana, staying at her mother's house with her sister and her family until she found a San Francisco apartment that she liked.  She had invited Seven of Nine to stay with her at her mother's, but Seven had declined on the grounds that she still needed to regenerate, and setting up a Borg alcove in Gretchen's house would certainly be an inconvenience.  The Doctor, Neelix, and a few of the Maquis that had no family were also staying on Voyager, so she had decided to stay with them for the time being.  Tom and B'Elanna had rented a place in Marseilles, and Chakotay had gone to stay with them while Kathryn was at her mother's.  Tuvok had gone to Vulcan for a few days, but had returned in time for the debriefing. 

When Kathryn found an apartment to her liking, she had immediately invited Chakotay to share it with her.  He had declined at first, not wanting to excite the suspicions of the Admirals about their relationship, but she had explained that the apartment was large, with four bedrooms, and she was going to invite Commander Walker and his daughter to stay with her as well.  She argued that it would seem perfectly natural for her to invite her two senior officers to stay with her when she had so much space, and nobody needed to know that one of the bedrooms wasn't being used. 

The debriefings had gone much better than Kathryn had expected.  Even the Board of Inquiry, which had lasted for nearly two weeks, had gone well.  The Admirals seemed inclined to side with her, and had only shown real disapproval on a few occasions.  Operation Fort Knox in particular had not gone over well – although there had been more than one snicker at the name she had given it.  They hadn't been impressed with her involvement in Unimatrix Zero, either, at first.  The phrase 'provoking the Collective' had come up more than once.  The Admirals had been definitely displeased until she explained that she had responded to a direct request for assistance.  Her explanation of the effect it would have on the Borg Collective hadn't hurt her standing either. 

The final day of the Inquiry had been yesterday, so she was finally free.  At least for now.  She and Chakotay had gone out to dinner to celebrate, as had Mark and Seven.  They had been spending a lot of time together recently, Kathryn had noticed with an approving eye. 

Pulling her robe closer around her, Kathryn made her way into her new kitchen and rooted around for the coffee.  The real stuff.  After nearly seven years without real coffee, she craved it so much in the morning that often she couldn't sleep and would get up to make a pot before crawling back into bed.  It was quiet in the apartment this morning because Cassandra was visiting one of her cousins at the Utopia Planitia shipyards, so it was just Kathryn, Chakotay, and Mark in the house this morning. 

Or so she thought. 

Just as she had started the coffee brewing, she turned around and was surprised to see Seven of Nine standing in the kitchen. 

"Seven!" she said, chuckling.  "You startled me.  I didn't hear you come in…"  Her voice trailed off as she noticed what Seven was wearing.  Her hair was down and slightly mussed, and she was wearing a long-sleeved blue dress that fell to just past her knees.  She looked like she was dressed for dinner instead of breakfast, and Kathryn's eyes widened when she realized that Seven must have spent the night. 

Seeing the Captain's surprised reaction, Seven blushed and looked at the floor.  Trying to smooth over the awkward moment, she offered Seven a cup of coffee, which she accepted – a first for her. 

Before she had poured the first cup, she heard Chakotay come into the kitchen. 

"Seven – you're here early," he said when he saw her. 

Seven blushed again and before Chakotay had a chance to wonder why, he saw Kathryn glaring at him to be quiet.  He complied, moving over next to her to get some coffee, and it took a few seconds for him to figure out what was going on. 

"I see," he muttered, for which he got a firm elbow in the ribs from Kathryn. 

Seven breathed a sigh of relief when the computer terminal nearby beeped with an incoming message, taking the focus away from her.  Captain Janeway moved over to the terminal with her coffee cup and sat down in front of it, pulling up the message.  As she read it, her face clouded over and she frowned. 

"Captain?" said Seven, who was watching her. 

Chakotay turned around from the coffee pot and looked at her as well. 

"Kathryn – what is it?" 

She sighed.  "Starfleet wants to do another round of debriefings…and they want me to stay at Headquarters for their convenience." 

"How is this inconvenient?" said Mark as he came out of the bedroom, overhearing their conversation.  "You're within transporter range, and it's a ten minute walk to headquarters." 

She leaned back on the couch with a sigh.  "Tell that to Starfleet.  It seems I don't have a choice." 

Chakotay moved over and sat beside her on the couch.  "Well, Tom and B'Elanna asked me if I'd want to spend a few more days with them.  Maybe I'll take them up on that offer." 

"I won't be here either," said Mark.  "I'm taking Cassie to Betazed to visit her grandparents."  In a quieter voice he added in Seven's direction,  "Did you decide if you're coming with us?" 

Before Seven could answer, Kathryn interrupted.  "I'm afraid she can't, Mark – Starfleet wants to talk to her, too.  It seems they're looking into our encounters with the Borg very carefully and they want to talk to the both of us." 

He sighed.  "Another time, then." 

"Another time," agreed Seven.

*    *    *

Captain Janeway entered her quarters in the Starfleet compound, removing her jacket as she walked. She tossed it on a nearby table and collapsed into the chair near the window, exhausted.  The debriefings she had been going through the last few days were being run by Admiral Blackwell, and he was mostly interested in their encounters with the Borg.  Dealing with Admiral Blackwell, having to dredge up all their confrontations with the Borg, and being without the support of Chakotay and her crew had left her mentally and emotionally drained. 

She sat in the chair with her eyes closed, not moving, for a few minutes before she opened her eyes and frowned.  She got up and walked over to the desk and sat down in front of the comm terminal. 

During the last interrogation, she had asked Admiral Blackwell about Seven but he had been evasive and had changed the subject.  She hadn't seen Seven since their arrival here four days ago, and she wanted to make sure that she was all right.  She reached for the comm terminal that had been provided.  She had been so busy that she hadn't used it yet – she hadn't even talked to Chakotay since he had left for Marseilles.

She activated the terminal and tried to access the communication system.

_Access code required, the computer told her._

"Janeway pi zero zero one."

_Invalid access code.__  Please restate._

"Janeway pi zero zero one," she repeated.

_Invalid access code.__  Please restate._

She sat back in her chair and sighed.  It was probably just an oversight – she suspected that her access codes had been deactivated years ago, and somebody had probably just forgotten to reactivate them.

She tried a few more times to get the terminal working without success before she got up and headed for the door, trying to ignore the suspicions gnawing at the back of her mind. 

Those suspicions were confirmed in an instant when the doors slid open to reveal to security guards stationed on either side of her door. 

She started, surprised – she wasn't aware that there were guards posted outside her door. She recognized them as Ensigns McCarthy and Phillips.  She had seen them around during the past few days, and they often escorted her to and from her quarters…but she had no idea that they remained there.

"I wasn't aware I needed protection," she said when she overcame her surprise.

The guards looked at each other and didn't answer. 

"My access code doesn't seem to be working," she told them, pointing back at her desk.  "I'd like to find another comm station that I could use." 

"That won't be possible," said McCarthy. 

She raised an eyebrow.  "I'm sorry?"

The guards looked at each other again. 

"You'll have to stay in your quarters, Captain," said Phillips. 

"I'll just be a few minutes," she insisted, taking a step forward. 

Ensign McCarthy stepped in her way and put his hand on the phaser in his belt. 

When he did so, the Captain froze, realizing that they were there not to protect her but to keep her from leaving. 

"What's the meaning of this?" 

"You'll have to stay in your quarters, Captain," repeated Phillips. 

"Under whose orders?" 

They were silent. 

"Under whose orders?" 

Her frustration building, she took a deep breath to calm down.  "I want to speak with Admiral Blackwell."

"He's not available right now.  If you'll just wait in your quarters…"  McCarthy stepped forward and took her by the arm. 

She shook him off roughly.  "Where is he?  I demand to know the meaning of this." 

Ensign Phillips put his hand on his phaser and stepped forward. 

Seeing she had no choice, she reluctantly stepped backward into her quarters and the doors shut in front of her.

*    *    *

Her quarters were exactly ten paces across.  No more, no less.  She had gone back and forth so many times this number was burned into her mind, probably for good.  Counting her steps was helping her to focus and keep her mind off the reason she was going back and forth like a caged animal, which was exactly how she felt.  Reaching the end of the room again, she pivoted and started back to the other side.

The doors to her quarters slid open, and she stopped pacing when she saw Admiral Blackwell enter. 

"Admiral, what the hell is going on here?" she demanded as the doors closed behind him.  "Why am I being treated like a prisoner?" 

"A prisoner?" he repeated.  "No…not exactly." 

"My comm terminal's been disabled and there are guards at my door who won't let me leave.  What do you call it?" 

He stepped closer to her.  "You have information that could harm the Federation if it fell into the wrong hands.  Until we know what you know, you're a security risk." 

"I don't understand – I've already been debriefed.  I've told Starfleet everything I know." 

"Oh really?" he said, moving towards her and extending a hand towards a nearby chair.  "Why don't we see about that?" 

She stood her ground and glared at them.  "I'd prefer to discuss why I'm being held against my will." 

He raised an eyebrow and continued eyeing her coldly.  "Against your will?  You're not willing to share information with us?" 

"I've already been debriefed.  I don't understand why I'm being treated like this." 

He continued staring at her and inclined his head towards the chair.  Sighing, she gave in and took a seat while he paced in front of her. 

"You made some powerful allies in the Delta quadrant, Captain," he began.  "The Hirogen, Species 8472, the Borg." 

"I doubt the Borg would see me as their ally.  They've hardly fared well in our confrontations." 

"Nevertheless…you've made alliances with enemies of the Federation.  I want to know why." 

"Except for the Borg, the species we encountered were unknown to the Federation," she replied, watching him circle her.  "So I hardly think that's a valid observation." 

"The Borg, then." 

"Admiral, what's this about?" 

"Answer the question!" 

She squared her shoulders. "I formed an alliance with the Borg to secure passage through their space.  In my opinion, species 8472 posed a greater threat, not just to me and my ship but to the entire galaxy." 

"In your opinion!  In _your opinion!" he shouted angrily.  She looked at him, surprised by his outburst.  "That's the problem, Captain.  Was it best in __your opinion to assist the Borg in developing an assimilation virus?" _

"_What?"_

"Operation Fort Knox – you obtained a transwarp coil in exchange for assisting the Borg in their attempt to assimilate Earth." 

"That's preposterous!" she exclaimed.  Trying to calm down, she took a deep breath.  In a more controlled voice, she said, "Admiral, if I'm being held here because you think I'm in league with the Borg, you're sadly mistaken.  I don't know where you got this idea, but – "

"From looking at the facts," he said vehemently.  "Your drone remained with the collective because they wanted her assistance to develop a virus to assimilate Earth.  Voyager ends up with a transwarp coil _and your drone back.  Coincidence?  I think not." _

"Admiral, we had to put together a rescue mission for Seven of Nine.  She didn't assist the Collective in the development of the virus.  She was being held against her will." 

He looked at her carefully. "Yes, that's what she maintains as well.  We'll see if she changes her story."

Alarms went off in her head at his tone.  "Where's Seven?  What do you want with her?" 

"Oh, I'm very interested in what she has to tell us.  Examining her will provide us with a wealth of information on the Borg.  She could be the greatest intelligence find in years." 

"Intelligence find?" she repeated incredulously.  "She's not some piece of equipment.  She's a person – a human being." 

"She's _Borg!" snapped the Admiral. _

"I want to speak with her." 

"I'm afraid that's not possible.  She's undergoing a minor medical procedure." 

Her eyes widened in horror.  "What are you doing with her?" 

"Gathering information about Borg cybernetic systems.  We're trying to develop a new weapon against the Borg.  A biogenic virus.  Your drone will be very useful to our research." 

"I want to speak with Admiral Paris," she said, jumping out of her chair and stepping closer to him. 

He smiled and shook his head.  "That won't be possible." 

"Well, then, I want to talk to Admiral Hayes.  Or Admiral Necheyev." 

"You seem to be quite agitated.  Perhaps we'll continue tomorrow." 

He turned to leave without acknowledging her again. 

"Admiral!" she called after him, following him to the door.  When she reached the entrance, the guards blocked her way and she watched as Blackwell moved down the corridor away from her.  She glared furiously at the guards but they didn't so much as blink.  Fuming, she turned around and marched back into her quarters to continue her pacing. 


	5. Shadows

DISCLAIMER:   You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

SUMMARY: Captain Janeway discovers that finding a way home was only the beginning.

THE LONG ROAD HOME

PARADISE LOST

CHAPTER FIVE : SHADOWS

Although she heard the doors open behind her, Captain Janeway stared resolutely at the small courtyard outside her window and didn't turn around.  She had never thought of it before, but she didn't even know what building she was being held in.  She and Seven had transported here, and she had just assumed that she was somewhere near the main Starfleet complex.  Looking out her window, though, she was unable to see any familiar landmarks and she had eventually determined that she was nowhere near headquarters.

"Perhaps today you're more willing to discuss your involvement with the Borg." 

She turned around to face Admiral Blackwell with a defiant glare. 

"I'm not discussing anything, Admiral, until I speak with Seven of Nine or Admiral Paris." 

"I can't allow that." 

She took a menacing step towards him.  "How dare you treat a member of my crew like that!  Seven of Nine is an individual now, not some science project for Starfleet engineers." 

"Seven of Nine – you see?  You claim she's an individual, yet you still use her Borg designation." 

"That's her choice.  I insist on speaking with her." 

"I'm afraid you won't be seeing her anytime soon." 

"Then you won't have my cooperation," she said, crossing her arms. 

"That's unfortunate," said Blackwell with a frown.  "I'd hate to see you in a general court-martial after you handled yourself so admirably during the Board of Inquiry." 

She raised an eyebrow.  "Are you _threatening me?" _

He didn't answer the question and looked at the PADD in his hands.  "I've gone over your logs, Captain.  So far, I've counted seventeen violations of the Prime Directive." 

"I've already been through this at the Board of Inquiry." 

"Of course…but that doesn't mean I can't have charges brought against you."  He looked down at the PADD in his hands.  "Seventeen counts of violating the Prime Directive.  Five counts of violating First Contact procedures.  Unnecessary risk to your ship and crew.  Willfully engaging the Borg.  Violation of the Omega Directive.  Shall I continue?" 

She stared at him in silence and he returned his gaze to his PADD. 

"Negligence and reckless actions resulting in the death of Captain Rudy Ransom.  Giving technology to the Hirogen.  Losing possession of your vessel on three occasions."  He looked up at her again.  "The list goes on.  Every time I read through your logs I find another charge to add.  I think you get the picture." 

"Oh, yes," she said, her voice cold. 

"It would be a shame to waste such a stellar career." 

Her only response was a raised eyebrow.  Normally, the threat of a career-ending court-martial would have had a greater effect on her – she had worried about it a lot during the journey across the Gamma quadrant – but her devotion to Seven of Nine was far stronger than her devotion to her career, and the Admiral's threat failed to move her in the slightest. 

His face clouded over at her lack of reaction and he frowned.  "As a matter of fact, I came across something interesting the last time I went over the logs in my possession.  Would you like to hear about it or are we going to discuss your agreement with the Borg?" 

She turned away from him and looked resolutely out the window.  "I've told you everything already.  I want to see Seven." 

"Very well – attempted murder." 

She turned back around, incredulous.  "What?" 

"Something I came across in your First Officer's account of the Equinox encounter.  Noah Lessing.  You threatened to kill him and would have let him die if your First Officer hadn't intervened.  That counts as attempted murder, Captain." 

An expression of anxiety momentarily flashed across her face, but she quickly suppressed it and stared coldly at Admiral Blackwell. 

"Perhaps you'd rather discuss the Borg if this makes you uncomfortable?" he offered condescendingly.

After her reaction to his mentioning the events surrounding the Equinox, Captain Janeway had regained control of herself and managed a smug grin. 

"You say you've read my logs, Admiral, but you obviously don't know me very well.  If you did, you'd know that you can't get anywhere by threatening me." 

He looked at her carefully for a moment before realization dawned and he smiled.  "Of course – the selfless martyr.  I should have known better.  I'll have to focus my efforts on your crew." 

She stiffened immediately, her instinctual reaction to anybody threatening her crew.  He noticed her react and his eyebrows went up.  "Ah, I thought so.  Let's see…the Equinox Five, as they're being called.  They were dishonorably discharged.  Perhaps I could arrange for a court-martial or a trial.  And of course, the Maquis." 

Her eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat involuntarily.  Although the fate of the Maquis had seemingly been resolved to her satisfaction, their persecution had been something she had feared for many years in the case of their return. 

"They're not going to be prosecuted," she said in a strained voice.  "Admiral Paris – "

"Admiral Paris has no say in this matter.  I'm sure my contacts on Cardassia could be persuaded to demand they be charged for their crimes."  He looked down at his PADD.  "Your chief engineer is Maquis…and she has a young daughter.  It would be a pity if her mother was incarcerated.  And her father…well, well – Tom Paris.  I'm sure we can find _something to charge him with." _

"Leave my crew alone!" she snapped, no longer able to contain her anger. 

"And Lieutenant Harry Kim," he continued, undaunted.  "I've found quite a few questionable points on his record.  I've read his psychological profile – I'm sure he'd be disappointed if he received a dishonorable discharge." 

"Why are you doing this?" 

He finally stopped reading the PADD and looked her in the eye.  The iciness of his gaze made a chill run down her spine. 

"You have information I want, Captain.  I'm prepared to go to any lengths to obtain it." 

"I've already told you everything I know," she said, exasperated. 

"You're lying!" he yelled furiously.  "You've been collaborating with the Borg for years." 

"That's ridiculous!" 

"Is it?  On Stardate 50984, you entered into an alliance with the Borg.  You exchanged technology with them and engaged species 8472.  In return, Seven of Nine came aboard Voyager as part of your agreement." 

"She didn't come voluntarily, and our alliance with the Borg was terminated." 

"On Stardate 52095, you used Seven of Nine's nanoprobes and your EMH's 29th-century holoemitter to create an advanced drone.  Your plan to advance the collective's capabilities backfired when the drone rebelled and had to be terminated." 

"His creation was an accident.  He sacrificed himself so the Borg wouldn't get their hands on his advanced technology." 

"On Stardate 52342," continued the Admiral, undaunted,  "Voyager attempted to prevent Species 6339 from using a virus they had developed against the Borg.  On Stardate 52619, Seven of Nine was sent to Unimatrix One to assist the Borg in the development of an assimilation virus, in exchange for a transwarp coil.  The attempt was ultimately unsuccessful, and your drone returned to Voyager." 

"I've already explained that she was held against her will," she said angrily.  "This is ridiculous, Admiral."

"On Stardate 53721, Voyager prevented the Brunali from infecting the collective with a genetically engineered virus, despite the directive given to all Starfleet Captains to take any opportunity to weaken the Borg." 

"Icheb was being sent without his knowledge – I refused to let his parents sacrifice him." 

A new thought occurred to her. 

"You have Icheb here as well, don't you?" 

He ignored her. "On Stardate 54010, you assisted the Borg Queen in her attempt to disable the resistance movement known as Unimatrix Zero.  You were successful and although the drones were liberated from the collective, they could no longer communicate with each other, effectively neutralizing the resistance."

"Are you holding Icheb here?" she demanded again, ignoring his ridiculous accusations. 

He finally stopped ranting long enough to look at her in silence for a few seconds.  Meeting his cold gaze, she knew the answer before he spoke. 

"You are, aren't you?" 

"Our scientists are examining his remaining cybernetic systems, and we hope to be able to duplicate the virus integrated into his genome." 

"How can you do this?" she whispered with disbelief. 

"How can _I do this?  You're the one who's been collaborating with the Borg.  You've been in league with them from the start, haven't you? That's why you were so anxious to enter the wormhole – the Borg wanted you in the Alpha quadrant for tactical surveillance.  Or perhaps they merely wanted the two drones to infiltrate Earth." _

"Admiral – my only reason for using the wormhole was getting my crew home." 

He continued as if he hadn't even heard her, and she began to wonder if he was mentally unbalanced.  "Maybe the Borg have decided that a direct assault would be ineffective.  Perhaps your attempts to develop an assimilation virus were successful." He had been slowly pacing back and forth, and he abruptly stopped and turned on her.  "Has the virus already been deployed?  Is your drone carrying it?  Or one of your crew?" 

It was becoming more obvious to the Captain that Admiral Blackwell was irrational, so she tried to calmly talk him out his paranoia. 

"Admiral, I'm not in league with the Borg, I'm not planning on releasing an assimilation virus, and I'm certainly not trying to help the Borg assimilate Earth," she said, hoping it sounded as ridiculous to him as it did to her. 

"Still refusing to cooperate, I see," he said, unmoved by her arguments.  "No matter.  We can extract all the information we need from your drone's cortical implants, although it will take some time." 

Her eyes widened in outrage.  "That could kill her!" 

He shrugged.  "We'll still be able to examine her cybernetic systems, and we still have the other drone.  It won't be a complete loss." 

"Since when is Starfleet Command in the business of murder and torture?" she said, horrified. 

He snorted derisively.  "Starfleet Command!  Those incompetent fools have no concept of the threats that face the Federation." 

She looked at him in surprise – she had so far been under the impression that she was being debriefed with the full knowledge of Starfleet Command. 

"Don't look so surprised, Captain," he said.  "Admiral Paris and the others have no idea what's going on."

Beginning to understand, she scrutinized him carefully.  "You're acting on your own?" 

"Hardly.  There are others who share my concern about your activities in the Delta quadrant.  And in high enough places to be able to set things in motion if need be. Bringing charges against your First Officer, for instance."  The threat against Chakotay got an instant reaction out of her, and she glared at the Admiral.  "Or a criminal trial for the Maquis." 

"Threats won't get you anywhere, Admiral," she said coldly.  "I'm not hiding anything." 

He glared back at her, but made no answer and turned to leave. 

"I urge you to reconsider that, Captain," he said as he walked towards the door.  "It would really be very easy for me to cause trouble for your crew." 

With that, he left her alone, and she turned back to the window, brooding.  She turned over in her head the revelation that Admiral Blackwell was acting without the knowledge or approval of Starfleet Command.  She had been wondering that since she had first encountered the guards outside her quarters.  What mystified her, though, was that he wasn't acting alone.  Was there some kind of vigilante group within Starfleet?  She had been out of touch for so long that she couldn't completely rule it out, especially after the chaos of the war with the Dominion.  She sighed and squeezed her eyes shut.  She hoped Seven and Icheb were all right.

*    *    *

Chakotay rubbed the side of his head in frustration. 

"Do you have any idea when I could talk to her?" he asked. 

"I'm afraid not, sir," replied Lieutenant Statler on the other end of the comlink.  "She's unavailable." 

Chakotay sighed.  That was what Admiral Paris' aide had been telling him for days now. 

"Well, could you tell her I'm looking for her." 

"Yes, sir.  I'll see that she gets the message." 

He nodded and cut the channel, leaning back in his chair with a sigh.  Statler's tone had made it clear that he didn't expect Captain Janeway to be returning his call anytime soon. 

Getting up and walking away from the desk, he moved into the living area and walked over to the window of Tom and B'Elanna's apartment.  They were sitting on the couch with Miral in between them, working on some updated specs for the Delta Flyer.  Starfleet was interested in their design, and was considering producing some as a new class of shuttle for the starships that were currently in production. 

B'Elanna looked up as he entered the room.  "No luck?" 

"She's 'unavailable' right now.  I'm getting sick of talking to that Lieutenant Statler." 

Tom noticed the way Chakotay was pensively gazing out the window.  "I'm sure my father has a good reason for keeping her so busy, Chakotay." 

Chakotay put his arm against the large window and leaned on it, looking out at the view of the Mediterranean spread out in front of him.  The apartment was on one of the upper floors of a high rise, so the view was spectacular, but his eyes roamed over the horizon without really taking any of it in. 

"She'll call," said Tom reassuringly. 

"Hm," grunted Chakotay, still staring out the window. 

It had been nearly a week since he had talked to Kathryn.  She hadn't returned any of his calls the past few days, and he hadn't been able to reach her.  At first, he had been able to tell himself that she was just busy, but the longer he went without hearing from her, the more he began to wonder if it was more.  Months ago, when she had been having doubts, she had started avoiding him…and that was exactly what she seemed to be doing now.  Despite all that had happened between them since then, he couldn't shake the nagging doubt that she had changed her mind once she was back at Headquarters, immersed in Starfleet rules and protocols. 

"Come on, Chakotay," said B'Elanna, interrupting his thoughts, "You don't think she's avoiding you?" 

He pulled away from the window and looked at her, surprised – that was exactly what he was thinking.

"I don't know," he admitted.  "You'd think she could find five minutes to talk to me." 

Sensing his hesitation and doubt, B'Elanna tried to reassure him. 

"Chakotay, I've seen the way she looks at you when she thinks nobody's watching.  She's not avoiding you." 

He turned back to the window and looked out at the ocean for a minute before he responded.  "You know, it's funny…Before we became involved, I always used to hope that things would change once we got home.  No more ship, no more crew, no more protocol.  Now, here we are, and we haven't spoken in over a week."

"She's probably just busy," B'Elanna assured him. 

"You know better than anyone how she gets when she's working," added Tom. 

"Mm-hmm," he mumbled absentmindedly. 

Tom looked at his wife and they shared a concerned look. 

"If it'll make you feel better," offered Tom, "I'll give my father a call tomorrow and see why she's so busy."

Chakotay nodded.  "Thanks, Tom." 

Turning back to the window, he stared out at the view.  Despite the assurances of his two friends, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

*    *    *

Chakotay was leaning back in his chair with his hands clasped behind his head, staring at the ceiling, when he heard Tom enter the room.  He pulled his hands away from his head and sat up. 

"Still unavailable," he said as Tom moved towards him and raised an eyebrow in question.  "Your father?"

Tom shook his head.  "In a meeting.  I'm going to try him at home later." 

Chakotay frowned.  "This is just like what happened when the Captain was trying to track down your father after we found the wormhole.  Kind of suspicious, don't you think?  I talked to her mother – she hasn't heard from her either." 

Tom shrugged.  "I don't know.  My father's usually a little hard to get a hold of.  I can remember my Mom when I was younger wanting to strangle more than one of his aides.  Some of them she saw more often than my father." 

Seeing that Chakotay still seemed deep in thought, Tom left him alone and went to go help B'Elanna with Miral.

*    *    *

"And Jeannie says to say hello," said Mrs. Paris.  "She'll be back next week and says she'll drop by to meet her niece." 

"Great," said Tom.  "Tell her she can look after Miral while B'Elanna and I have a night out on the town."

She laughed.  "So, how is my granddaughter?  If you don't bring her by soon, I'm going to have to come over there and track you down myself." 

Tom chuckled.  "Okay, okay.  Listen, Mom, that's not why I'm calling.  Is Dad around?" 

His mother smiled.  "Well, you two are getting along better.  Used to be you'd ask that at the beginning of our conversations so you wouldn't have to talk to him." 

"It's important," he insisted. 

"It always is," his mother sighed.  "I'll get him." 

She moved away from the screen, and Tom glanced at Chakotay with a raised eyebrow as he moved around the desk to pull up a chair beside Tom.  After a few minutes Admiral Paris' face appeared on the screen.

"I'm surprised to find you at home, Dad," said Tom as his father sat down at the other end of the comlink.

"Why?" 

"Aren't you busy with Captain Janeway?" 

"No," said Owen with a puzzled frown.  "She's busy in debriefings." 

"You haven't seen her at all?" asked Chakotay. 

"No – not for a week or so." 

"Lieutenant Statler said you were busy this afternoon – weren't you with the Captain?" said Tom. 

"Busy?  That's ridiculous.  I was doing paperwork all day." 

"I tried to call you this afternoon," insisted Tom. 

"Lieutenant Statler's the one who's been telling me the Captain's unavailable," said Chakotay.  "I've been trying to reach her for days." 

"He shouldn't have anything to do with her," said Admiral Paris.  "That's odd…I'll look into it for you."

"Thank you, Admiral," said Chakotay.

*   *   *

Kathryn was pacing back and forth in her quarters again when she heard voices coming down the hallway towards her room.  Recognizing the voice of Admiral Blackwell, she moved over to the door and could vaguely make out what was being said when she put her ear next to the door. 

"Was there something else, Lieutenant?"  That was definitely Admiral Blackwell's voice. 

"A minor problem, sir." 

She started back from the door in surprise – that sounded like Admiral Paris' aide, Lieutenant Statler. 

_What's he doing with Admiral Blackwell? she wondered. _

"Well, what is it?" demanded Blackwell. 

"It's her First Officer, sir.  He's tried three times already today." 

"So?  Tell him she's unavailable." 

"He's not taking no for an answer," replied Statler. 

She sighed with relief and a small smile crossed her lips.  She could always count on Chakotay. 

"I think he's contacted her family, too," continued the Lieutenant.  "Her mother tried to contact her this afternoon." 

"You have your orders – tell them she's busy with debriefings and isn't available to talk." 

There was a slight pause, and she thought she heard Blackwell approach the door.  Before he reached it, Statler called after him.  "We may have another problem, sir – they've reached Admiral Paris." 

She vaguely heard Blackwell curse under his breath.  "How did they manage that?  You take all his calls."

There was another pause before Statler continued in an abashed voice.  "Lieutenant Paris tried this afternoon, and I told him the Admiral was in a meeting.  I was monitoring his comm channels, and he reached Admiral Paris at home about five minutes ago." 

"Damn.  Owen will know that this isn't official." 

There was a slight silence while Admiral Blackwell thought. 

"At least he won't be able to find us," he continued after a moment.  "Make sure everyone knows to encrypt the transporters and to make sure they're not followed.  And be sure you mask the cortical implant frequency of the drones – they've tracked them down that way before.  We can't have Starfleet finding out about our little facility here." 

"Yes, sir." 

The Captain backed away from the doorway, but was relieved when the voices moved farther away.  At least she wasn't going to have to deal with more paranoid accusations right now.

*    *    *

The Captain sat forward with her elbows on her knees and massaged her temples.  Admiral Blackwell's unreasonable accusations and threats were giving her a pounding headache. 

"You assisted in the reassimilation of an entire colony!  Admit it, Captain!" 

She groaned in frustration.  "For the last time, Admiral, I refused to help them reestablish their link but they found a way to do it anyways." 

"With the help of your First Officer." 

"He was coerced," she insisted.  "They used the residual link to force him to help them." 

"I don't believe you," he snarled.  "You were trying to reassimilate them into the Borg collective." 

She didn't dignify his accusation with a response, and his pacing back and forth was interrupted when the doors opened and Lieutenant Statler entered.  He waited near the door patiently. 

"What?" snapped Blackwell. 

Statler raised an eyebrow but said nothing, and Blackwell sighed impatiently and joined him over near the door.  Although they tried to speak quietly, the Captian was able to catch most of their conversation. 

"He tried to bypass my comm system," she heard Statler say quietly, "But we encrypted the pathways and he wasn't able to reach her." 

"He's persistent, I'll give him that," growled Blackwell.  After a pause, he added, "Perhaps if he talked with the Captain, we'll be able to throw him off the trail." 

She took a deep breath.  It sounded like Chakotay was getting increasingly suspicious. 

"Are you sure that's wise, sir?" Statler said.  "It's unlikely he knows about our involvement." 

Blackwell glanced in her direction, and she pretended she wasn't listening. 

"I think we've got enough leverage to ensure her cooperation," he said. 

With that, he approached the Captain, who raised her head and met his gaze as he drew near her. 

"Captain – it appears your First Officer is determined to speak with you.  I'm going to allow it, but if you tell him anything about what's going on here, I'll have him and the rest of the Maquis still in the sector in custody for extradition to Cardassia by the end of the day.  Is that clear?" 

She glared at him for a few seconds.  "Perfectly," she responded, her voice deadly. 

Statler was over at the desk, working at the comm terminal.  When he nodded at them, Blackwell indicated for the Captain to move over to the desk, and she rose slowly and complied.  Settling herself in the chair in front of the terminal, she glared furiously at her two companions.  Blackwell stood on the opposite side of the desk across from her, out of sight of the screen.  Statler reached over and opened the comlink, and after a minute the screen lit up and she saw Chakotay's face on the other end of the link.  After what she had been through lately, it was a relief to see his face, but she tried to suppress it quickly. 

"Kathryn!" he said as he sat down. 

She could tell by the tone of his voice that he was also glad to see her, and she was sorry that she couldn't return his warmth.  She had to figure out a way to let him know that she, Seven, and Icheb were in trouble without alerting Admiral Blackwell, who was watching her from the other side of the terminal like a hawk.

She gave Chakotay a friendly smile, but it purposely lacked its usual warmth.  "Sorry I haven't returned your calls," she said formally.  She could see that he picked up on her cold demeanor immediately, and she rejoiced.  Only Chakotay could pick up on such a small difference that quickly. 

"It's been over a week, Kathryn," he said, smiling but watching her carefully. 

"I know, I know, I'm sorry.  You know how thorough Admirals can be.  How are Tom and B'Elanna?" 

"They're fine," he said, too busy scrutinizing her to think of a more lengthy response. 

"And the rest of the crew?"  Talking to him was so comforting that she was unable to stop some of her usual warmth from entering her question, and she could see that he relaxed a little. 

"Good.  Mark's back from Betazed, and Neelix has decided to open a restaurant.  The Doctor's boring us all with his latest paper – apparently he's been asked to speak at a medical conference.  We'll never hear the end of it." 

She chuckled, forgetting herself momentarily, but it was a sad laugh.  She missed her crew.  The cold stare of Admiral Blackwell from across the terminal brought her swiftly back to reality, though, and her face fell.

He noticed the change in her demeanor immediately.  "Will you be joining us anytime soon?" he asked carefully. 

She stiffened.  "I'm afraid I'm going to be held up here indefinitely," she said, trying to put meaning behind her words.  She thought she had succeeded when his eyes narrowed slightly and he seemed to become more suspicious. 

"It's not the same without you, Kathryn.  The crew's been asking for you." 

"Give them my regards." 

She had hoped that she was getting her meaning across, but when she saw the suspiciousness on his face replaced with disappointment, she realized she hadn't succeeded – that she was giving him the wrong message.  It dawned on her in a flash that he wasn't suspicious that something was wrong – he thought she was trying to back out of their relationship, and she kicked herself for not thinking of that possibility earlier. 

_Give them my regards.  How well he remembered that phrase.  That was how she had brushed him off three years ago when they had been in the void.  To him, it meant that she was pushing him away and withdrawing into herself.  All his suspicions about her pulling away from him and their relationship returned with a vengeance, but he held out just enough hope to try again. _

"Tom's arranging a get together for the crew at the real Sandrine's. He's tried to get as many of the crew as he can to attend.  He was hoping you'd be able to make it." 

"I'm afraid not." _Come on, Chakotay, she added to herself.  He had always been able to read her in the past, but he wasn't picking up the right signals yet.  She was fairly certain that he thought she was pulling away from him – that was why he wasn't suspicious yet.  She had to quickly try and figure out how to tell him she was in trouble without Admiral Blackwell picking up on it.  His comment about Sandrine's gave her a sudden inspiration. _

"I really don't have time to be socializing with the crew, Chakotay," she said coldly. 

That got his attention.  Although he had always had to convince her to associate with the crew off duty, it had been more because she felt she had work to do than because she didn't want to at all.  Here, she was making it sound like she would rather do anything than hang out at a bar with her crew. 

He began to wonder if something else was going on and his earlier suspicions again rose to the surface.  He had assumed she was being aloof because she had changed her mind about their relationship, but that wouldn't explain all her behavior.  He wondered if she was in some kind of trouble. 

_Yes! she thought when she saw him react. _

"Besides," she continued, "I'm really not very good at pool.  I never really got the hang of it." 

Now he looked much more alert, and she heaved an internal sigh of relief.  He knew as well as she did that she was an excellent pool player, and had picked up the game almost without instruction. 

"Another time, maybe," he said, eyeing her carefully. 

"Yes," she agreed.  "Give Tom my apologies.  I'm sure he'll understand that there's no way I can get away right now."  She emphasized the last part of her statement, hoping he would take it in the way it was meant – literally.  She glanced momentarily at Admiral Blackwell, and when she looked back at the screen she was relieved to see that Chakotay had obviously caught the glance. 

He thought for a moment, wording his next comment carefully. 

"You could tell him yourself, except he and B'Elanna have gone out.  I'm all by myself here."  As he said it, he watched her carefully, a question in his eyes. 

She had to try not to smile – he had picked up that she was trying to tell him something and wanted to know if she was alone. 

"Sorry I missed them," she said, shaking her head almost imperceptibly. 

He nodded, understanding that she wasn't alone.  He waited for her to take the lead since she obviously was trying to tell him something. 

She had to tell him that Seven was in trouble somehow.  His comment about Mark gave her an idea. 

"When you see Mark and Cassandra, tell them Annika says hello.  I spoke with her just after he left for Betazed." 

She gambled that Admiral Blackwell wouldn't recognize Seven's given name, and to her relief he showed no reaction.  Chakotay, however, did, and he leaned forward. 

"Oh?" he said, waiting for her to elaborate. 

"She's sorry she missed seeing him," she said carefully.  "But she's busy at the lab.  Completely tied up with research."  She watched him with each word, and she saw him slowly process her meaning. 

"I'll tell him." 

"She really wanted to get away," she added. 

"Just like you." 

She barely concealed a grin – he was on the right track now.  "You could say that," she said meaningfully.

She wanted to say more, but she saw Admiral Blackwell motion at her to cut the transmission. 

"I have to go," she told him. 

He nodded.  "I'll see you soon, Kathryn." 

She squeezed her eyes shut at the promise behind his words.  When she opened them again, she whispered, "I hope so." 

With that, she cut the transmission and leaned back in her chair with a sigh. 

On his end of the comlink, Chakotay frowned before jumping up and walking into the other room where Tom and B'Elanna were playing with Miral on the floor.  They looked up when he entered the room and noticed his dark expression. 

"What is it?" asked B'Elanna.  "Who was that?" 

"Captain Janeway." 

"What?" said Tom.  "You talked to her?" 

He nodded. 

"And?" prompted B'Elanna. 

"We need to talk to Admiral Paris.  I think she's in trouble." 

"What kind of trouble?" asked Tom. 

"I don't know," he admitted.  "But whatever it is, it's bad."  

*    *    * 

"You allowed yourself and two of your officers to be assimilated!  That's proof that you were in league with the Borg." 

"Admiral – "  

"Nobody in their right mind would allow themselves to be assimilated otherwise!" 

Kathryn almost laughed despite herself – that was almost exactly what Chakotay had said when she had told him her plan.  She was getting tired of Admiral Blackwell's paranoid rantings, but she defended herself more as a reaction than anything else. 

"Check our medical logs.  We were treated with a neural suppressant – we weren't connected to the hive mind." 

"No!" he yelled.  "You're lying!  Tell me about their plans to assimilate Earth." 

"We weren't connected to the hive mind," she said tiredly. 

"Your chief of security was – he must have told you what he found out." 

"Tuvok was trying to resist it, so he wasn't completely connected either." 

He moved over to where she was sitting and leaned in close.  "Tell me about their plans." 

She sighed and rubbed her forehead.  "For the last time, Admiral, all I know about the Borg's plans to assimilate Earth is what the Borg Queen revealed to Seven of Nine during her time in Unimatrix One."

"Where she stayed because she chose to!" he snapped.  "She wanted to help assimilate Earth." 

"She was coerced.  If she didn't go with them, the Borg threatened to assimilate us.  She only cooperated because we were being threatened."  She sighed, then added in a low voice,  "An approach which I see isn't limited to the Borg collective." 

He ignored her comment and continued.  "We'll be looking into her involvement once we figure out how to extract the information from her cortical node." 

Her head snapped up.  "That will kill her!  She's not hiding anything from you." 

He looked at her suspiciously. "You trust her?" 

"Implicitly." 

He stood up.  "Then you're a fool.  She's _Borg!"  He began pacing back and forth, and she watched him for a few minutes before he stopped and looked at her carefully. _

"Perhaps I'll have to use more drastic measures," he said quietly. 

The Captain frowned, wondering what he was talking about. 

"Statler!" he yelled towards the door.  When the lieutenant entered, he spoke quietly to him.  Statler seemed to object, but Blackwell silenced him, and the young man nodded and moved out the door. 

"We'll just have to find out for ourselves the extent of your cooperation with the Borg," he said with a cold glare. 

He continued pacing back and forth impatiently until Lieutenant Statler returned with the two security guards, McCarthy and Phillips.  Ensign McCarthy was carrying a computer terminal, and the Phillips approached Captain Janeway with a small round piece of equipment that looked like a cortical inhibitor.

"What is that?" she said, pulling away from him. 

"Something that will tell us whether you are helping the Borg." 

He motioned to Phillips, who attached the round device to her temple. 

Blackwell, Statler, and the two ensigns gathered around the station that McCarthy had carried in, and they busied themselves for a few minutes before Blackwell looked up and glared at Janeway. 

"Do it," he growled. 

She looked at him in puzzlement before a wave of dizziness came over her and there was a bright flash of light.

*    *    *

Captain Janeway looked up from the PADD she was reading and glanced uneasily around her ready room.  It was quiet, and the stars were streaking by out the window, but she had the distinct feeling she wasn't supposed to be here – that something wasn't right. 

She shook it off, attributing it to nerves, and returned to their analysis of the Borg cube they were trying to infiltrate.  She made a few changes to their plan that would cut precious seconds off their theft of the transwarp coil, then looked up again.  A sharp feeling of unease came over her.  For some reason, she had the distinct impression that she should be back on Earth.  Images of Starfleet Headquarters, San Francisco, and her mother's house came vividly to her mind.  This was odd, because it had been a long time since she had felt such an intense longing for home. 

Her malaise was interrupted by the blaring alarm of a red alert and Chakotay's voice over her commbadge.

_Captain to the bridge._

She rose from her desk and strode out the doors.  "Report," she said as Chakotay rose from his chair. 

"We've detected a transwarp corridor fifty thousand kilometers ahead of us." 

She frowned and took her chair.  "Raise shields.  Let's see it, Mr. Kim." 

The viewscreen was activated, and the greenish distortion that was a transwarp corridor was forming in front of the ship.  After a few tense seconds, a Borg sphere emerged and the corridor closed behind it. 

"They're hailing us," said Harry with surprise. 

The Captain looked at him with a raised eyebrow.  She was about to tell him to put it through when her eyes fell on the single pip adorning his collar.  She had a nagging feeling that was somehow wrong – that he should be a lieutenant.  She considered that for a moment before Chakotay's voice interrupted her thoughts. 

"Captain?" 

She brought herself back to the situation, mentally criticizing herself for considering a promotion for Harry when the safety of the ship was at stake. 

"Onscreen," she ordered, turning her gaze back to the front of the bridge. 

Instead of the usual view of a cube, a woman's face appeared on the screen.  She was obviously Borg, but she had an expression of curiosity and cleverness that Captain Janeway usually didn't associate with Borg.  Her appearance was almost reptilian, and although her face was devoid of implants there was something protruding from the back of her skull. 

"Captain Janeway," said the woman in a purring voice. 

She gripped the arms of her chair while the rest of the crew stared speechless at the image on the screen.

"Who are you?" 

"I am the Borg," said the Queen.  To her surprise, the Captain realized that she knew that, although she didn't know how.  As far as she was concerned, there was no hierarchy in the Borg collective…yet she somehow knew instinctively that she was looking at the single mind that controlled the collective. 

"You disappoint me, Captain.  I had expected something more cunning from you," continued the Queen in a menacing voice. 

The Captain froze, and it took her a few seconds to answer.  "I don't know what you mean." 

The Borg Queen cocked her head.  "You're planning an assault on one of our vessels.  You want a transwarp coil.  You will fail." 

Captain Janeway felt like she had been punched in the stomach.  Yet another way home pulled out from under them. 

"I'm prepared to give it to you," continued the Queen. 

"Oh, really?" she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.  She rose from her chair and stood closer to the screen with one hand on her hip.  "In exchange for what?" 

"Your assistance."  Seven was standing behind the command chairs, and the Queen turned her gaze to her.  "Seven of Nine, tertiary adjunct of Unimatrix zero one.  Your experience will add to our perfection.  Your knowledge will be invaluable."  She returned her gaze to the Captain.  "You will assist us in developing an assimilation virus for the assimilation of Earth.  In exchange, we will supply your vessel with a transwarp coil." 

"No," said the Captain icily. 

"Your goal is to return your vessel to the Alpha quadrant.  You will be able to achieve that goal if you cooperate with us." 

"Not at the price of assimilating humanity." 

The Queen's demeanor became cold.  "You will comply or we will destroy your vessel." 

"Go ahead.  We won't help you assimilate Earth." 

"Comply or be assimilated," repeated the Queen.  "Resistance is futile." 

The Captain cocked an eyebrow.  "We'll see about that." 

"You can assist us as individuals or as drones, Captain.  It's your decision." 

"Ensign, cut the channel," she ordered over her shoulder.  The viewscreen went blank, but not before she saw the look of pure anger on the face of the Queen. 

"Tom, get us out of here." 

His fingers started moving over his console, but before the ship could escape, the bridge jolted. 

"What was that?" asked Chakotay. 

"They've locked onto us with a tractor beam," said Harry urgently.  "I'm trying to disrupt it." 

The Captain watched him for a few seconds before he shook his head.  "It's not working, Captain." 

"Maybe we should cooperate with them – or at least pretend to until we can figure out another option," said Chakotay, leaning over towards her chair. 

She shook her head without looking at him.  "And what if they manage to get the information they need from Seven, or from us?  We could be putting the entire Alpha quadrant at risk." 

"If we don't we're putting ourselves at risk.  We should do whatever it takes to survive." 

She turned her head to face him, and studied him quizzically.  The way he was looking at her seemed unfamiliar, somehow.  His gaze lacked the usual spark in his eyes, the warmth that he usually had when he looked at her. 

"I'm not going to trade our safety at the cost of the Borg assimilating humanity," she said coldly.  "We're not going to cooperate with them." 

"Our shields are losing power," announced Tuvok ominously before the lights started to flicker on the bridge. 

"Harry, any luck on that tractor beam?" she asked without looking at him. 

"They're adapting too fast," he pronounced.  "I can't break us free." 

The lights on the bridge went out, and the only illumination came from the blinking red alert lights. 

"Shields are down," announced Tuvok. 

"Arm yourselves," she barked, reaching for the phaser behind her chair.  "Set your phasers to a rotating frequency." 

Before she could even turn back around, she felt herself engulfed in a transporter beam and when the greenish glow cleared, she found herself in the interior of a Borg cube along with the rest of the bridge crew.  She raised her phaser, but found that it wasn't functioning.  She looked around the dark confines of the cube and saw drones approaching them from all sides. 

They attempted to fight them off in hand to hand combat, but they were easily overpowered.  Instead of being instantly assimilated, though, the drones merely held them in place.  Captain Janeway had a drone on each side of her, holding her firmly by the arms.  She could see Chakotay and Tuvok nearby her, also being held in place, and the rest of her staff was off to the side, similarly restrained. 

The crowd of drones parted to admit the Borg Queen as she slowly approached Captain Janeway. 

"Welcome, Captain.  Now that you're in my territory, perhaps you'll be more cooperative." 

"Go to hell." 

The Borg Queen's face became a mask of anger.  "Comply and I will spare you and your crew." 

"We won't help you." 

This seemed to puzzle the Queen.  "You would sacrifice yourselves to protect a people halfway across the galaxy?" 

"_Innocent people.  And yes, I would." _

"Then you leave me no choice," answered the Queen.  She tilted her head to the side with a demonic smile on her face. 

She saw the drone holding Harry react first.  The drone reached his hand up to the young ensign's neck, and two assimilation tubules sprang out of his hand and into Harry's neck.  He gasped weakly and tilted his head back as the nanoprobes flowed from the drone into his system and began to assimilate his tissues.  Tuvok was next, and the tubules were injected into his neck as the Vulcan's eyes widened. 

The next of her staff to be assimilated was her First Officer.  Kathryn saw the hand of one of the drones holding Chakotay approach his neck, and the tubules were plunged into the soft flesh.  He gasped as the nanoprobes slowly began to take over his system, and his knees gave out from under him.  The drones holding him released him as he fell, and he lay on the floor of the cube as his skin slowly started to turn pale. 

"No!" she screamed as she saw her crew, her friends, her family, being assimilated before her eyes.  Chakotay was staring at her from where he lay on the floor, and his gaze was almost accusatory. 

The Borg Queen stepped closer to her.  "Assist us or join them," she hissed. 

Kathryn looked at her staff as their eyes glazed over and their skin turned slowly to the familiar chalky color of Borg drones.  Tears filled her eyes at their blank stares, but the despair on her face was soon replaced by fury.  She turned to the Borg Queen with a ferocious glare. 

"I will not comply." 

The Borg Queen's eyes narrowed, and she took another step towards Janeway.  "Then you will become one of us." 

She reached her hand towards Kathryn's neck, and the Captain stiffened but gazed stoically ahead.  She felt the tubules plunge into the soft flesh of her neck, and closed her eyes as she waited to feel the nanoprobes coursing through her body.  After a few seconds, she still felt the same, and she opened her eyes and looked around in puzzlement.  The assimilation of her staff had been nearly instantaneous, but she couldn't feel anything. 

"It's not working.  Reset the simulation." 

She looked around for the source of the detached voice for a few seconds before she remembered.  That was Admiral Blackwell's voice.  It all came back to her in a rush – her and Chakotay, the Yukon, their return to Earth, the interrogations. 

"It's not real," she whispered with relief, looking at her assimilated crew.  Before she had more time to consider this, the scene before her disappeared in a bright flash of light.


	6. Investigations

DISCLAIMER:   You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

SUMMARY: Chakotay, Tom, and B'Elanna try to unravel a mystery while Captain Janeway deals with her new adversary and learns some shocking information.

THE LONG ROAD HOME

PARADISE LOST

CHAPTER SIX : INVESTIGATIONS

When the dizziness and the bright light passed, Captain Janeway opened her eyes to find herself back in her quarters at Starfleet with Admiral Blackwell and his companions nearby, working at a computer terminal.  Still slightly disoriented, she leaned her head on the back of the chair and tried to ignore the sharp pain in her temple as she listened to their conversation. 

"I don't understand why it didn't work," said Lieutenant Statler.  "Why didn't she cooperate with them?"

"We have no way of knowing exactly what happened during the original incident," said Blackwell.  "We know she doesn't take well to threats…perhaps our approach was too direct.  They were already allies with the Borg, so a direct confrontation is probably unlikely." 

Statler nodded and worked at the computer terminal.  "I'll readjust the parameters and we can try it again."

The pain in Kathryn's temple got worse.  She could feel something warm on her face, and when she touched her fingers to the skin beneath her nose, she saw when she pulled her hand away that her fingers had blood on them and she gasped softly. 

Looking up at her companions, she saw Lieutenant Statler glance up at her and do a double-take.  He frowned when he saw the blood trickling from her nose.  "What the…?"

He walked over to her and knelt down beside her, taking her chin in his hand and roughly twisting her head towards him.  Her headache was almost unbearable now, and she didn't resist as he examined her. 

"What now?" said Blackwell brusquely. 

"I think we should get her to the infirmary," said Statler over his shoulder without taking his eyes off Janeway. 

Blackwell sighed in frustration.  "Are you sure that's necessary?" 

Statler stood up and turned around.  "Yes, sir.  I've seen this problem before…although I thought we had rectified it.  That's why I recommended against using the device." 

"Fine," said Blackwell.  "But make it quick." 

Statler nodded and helped the Captain to her feet.  The blinding pain in her forehead was making her dizzy, and she swayed on her feet for a moment before she moved towards the door.  As she regained her balance, she roughly shook off Statler's hand from her elbow.  The doors opened, and Statler motioned for the two security guards to follow him as he escorted her down the hall. 

They entered a turbolift at the end of the corridor. 

"Level 4," ordered Statler. 

_Clearance code required, insisted the computer. _

"Statler gamma four five one." 

The computer accepted his authorization and began moving.  Despite the pulsing pain in her head, Captain Janeway was trying to remember every detail.  If she was going to get out of here, every piece of information she could gather would be useful. 

The lift stopped, and Janeway followed one of the guards out the doors and down the corridor.  Before they had made it very far down the hallway, her vision began to blur and everything swam.  She stumbled against the wall, and put her hand to her head to try and make the pain go away.  She felt one of the guards grab her by her elbow, and an arm went around her waist.  They half dragged her for a little ways before she sensed that they turned left.  After a few more steps, she heard a set of doors open, and the lighting was brighter.  Her guards helped her over to a bed, where she sat down and put her head in her hands. 

"What have we got here?" asked an unfamiliar voice. 

"Admiral Blackwell was using the synaptic interface on her," explained Statler.  "When we ended the simulation, she was like this." 

"I thought we fixed that," said the first voice, annoyed and accusatory. 

"So did I," returned Statler. 

Somebody lifted Kathryn's head from her hands and she could hear a tricorder scanning her. 

"Same as before," said the voice, presumably the doctor.  "Ruptured capillaries in the parietal and frontal lobes.  More serious than the others, too." 

"Will we be able to use the interface again?" 

"I wouldn't recommend it, but I suppose that's not what the Admiral will want to hear." 

Kathryn felt the hiss of a hypospray against her neck, and the pain in her head began to dissipate immediately.  Opening her eyes, she could see that she was in the infirmary, and the man examining her was most definitely a doctor.  There were no other patients in the infirmary – just her, Statler, and her two security guards. 

The doctor was waving some kind of instrument over her head, and after a few minutes he put it down and picked up the medical tricorder again.  "That ought to do it," he pronounced.  "Better?" 

Kathryn nodded and pushed herself off the bed. 

"We should probably run another series of tests on that confounded thing," the doctor told Statler.  "I don't want to have to explain another bunch of brain-dead patients to the Director." 

Statler looked at Janeway.  "Well, I don't think Admiral Blackwell will be done with the Captain here anytime soon, so feel free to consider her your test case." 

Janeway glared at him furiously but he ignored her.  While Statler conferred further with the doctor, she looked carefully around the infirmary to see if there was anything she could use to escape.  Her eyes fell on a hypospray that was sitting on a nearby cart.  She glanced nonchalantly at the two security guards. 

The larger guard, McCarthy, was looking at Statler and the Doctor, but Ensign Phillips was watching Kathryn intently.  She cursed to herself under her breath and tried to think of a way to grab the hypospray without him noticing.  Before she came up with anything, Statler finished with the doctor. 

"Let's go," he ordered, and Ensign Phillips moved towards her.  He stepped forward to grab her arm, and she instantly saw her chance.  She stepped backwards out of his reach, closer to the cart.  He moved closer, again trying to grab her.  She took another step back, within reach of the cart, but he had long arms and he managed to grab her by the elbow. 

"Get your hands off me," she growled, trying to wrench her arm free.  Statler and McCarthy stopped and looked at them.  With a strong yank, she freed her arm and pretended to lose her balance, stumbling backwards into the cart.  Kathryn, the cart, and all its contents hit the floor with a loud clang.  Statler and the guards were too stunned to move for a moment, and she took advantage of their surprise to feel around on the ground for a hypospray.  Her fingers came into contact with one, and, hoping that it contained a sedative and not some kind of stimulant, she deftly slipped it into the waistband of her pants behind her back, quickly pulling her jacket over it to conceal it. 

Statler stepped forward and yanked her to her feet before turning to the guard. 

"That's unnecessary, Ensign," warned Statler.  "If she comes quietly there's no need for force." 

"Yes sir," replied Phillips dutifully. 

Statler motioned for the Captain to lead the way.  She glared at him again, but stepped around him after a few seconds and headed for the door to the infirmary.  She had hoped that they would be ahead of her so she would have a chance to use the hypospray, but she could always save it for later.  She was outnumbered three to one, after all, and the men were all much bigger that she was. 

When she reached a junction in the corridor, she paused.  She was almost certain that they had come from the corridor to the right, but she didn't want Statler to be aware that she knew her way around. 

"Turn right," he said. 

She smiled to herself. She obviously did know her way around. 

As they moved down the hallway, a large set of doors on her right opened, and a pair of people came out.  They turned away from her and started down the hallway.  They were in the middle of a conversation, and she caught the words 'cortical implant' from one of them.  Instantly alert, she stopped in her tracks and looked toward the door, but it was already closing.  Just before it did, she caught a glimpse inside. 

It seemed to be a large research lab, with technicians in lab coats moving around everywhere.  A large diagnostic table of some sort was visible through the doorway.  Less than a second after the doors closed, they opened again as another researcher came out.  This time, she got a better look inside, paying particular attention to the diagnostic table, which seemed to be the focus of the lab.  There seemed to be a person on the table, and she had a sinking feeling that she knew who it was. 

Her suspicions were confirmed when one of the technicians moved aside and she saw a head of blond hair at one end of the table.  She could almost make out the ocular implant above the eyebrow, but she didn't need to see the face to know who it was. 

"Seven," she whispered, horrified. 

That got Statler's attention, and he followed her gaze through the doors. 

"Damn," he cursed under his breath.  "Come on, get her out of here," 

Kathryn turned on him as he moved towards her.  "What are you doing to her?" 

"Let's go," he insisted, and motioned to the guards to grab her. 

Ensign McCarthy moved towards her, and she waited until he was within reach before she turned on him.  Reaching behind her, she grabbed the hypospray from her waistband and applied it quickly to his neck.  His eyes widened in surprise before his legs gave out and he fell to the floor.  As he went down, she reached to his waist and pulled out his phaser.  Setting it for stun, she turned around and shot Ensign Phillips and then Lieutenant Statler.  They both dropped to the floor unconscious with their surprised expressions still on their faces. 

Looking around, she was relieved to find that nobody had noticed.  There was another doorway immediately across from the research lab, and she crossed the hallway and opened it.  Looking in, she discovered that it was some kind of science lab, and there was nobody in it.  Moving back to her unconscious companions, she dragged them one by one into the research lab.  When she was finished, she quickly opened the other doors and moved into the research lab.  Keeping her phaser at the ready, she darted over to one of the dividing walls and backed along it before slowly peeking around the corner. 

The woman on the table was most definitely Seven of Nine.  She was wearing a Starfleet-issue medical gown, and there were research technicians swarming all around her.  Pulling back her head, Kathryn looked around quickly to try and come up with a plan.  The doors to the lab opened suddenly, and she ducked behind a nearby console as a technician walked by. 

She breathed a sigh of relief when her presence went unnoticed.  Moving around the console she was hiding behind, she looked at the readouts and smiled.  It was monitoring Seven's implants as they were being studied.  Kathryn examined the readouts for a few seconds before she entered a series of commands.  An alarm immediately went off in the main area. 

"What the hell?" said one of the researchers that was standing over Seven, dashing to a nearby console.

"What's going on?" asked another. 

"We've triggered her dormant nanoprobes!" yelled one of the younger workers in a panic.  "She's becoming a drone!" 

"That's impossible," insisted the first man, still checking the console. 

"Look at the readouts," insisted a woman as she came up beside him.  "Her dormant nanoprobes are reactivating.  Code Green - everybody out!" she ordered.  "Now!  Come on!" 

The Captain watched from the shadows as all the researchers ran out one of the back doors.  The woman and the man who had been at the console were the last ones to leave, and they moved towards where the Captain was now concealed.  She moved deeper into the shadows, but they had more important concerns than looking for uninvited guests. 

"Activate the containment field," ordered the woman. 

"If her Borg shields become active, that won't do much good," insisted the man as he worked. 

"That's security's problem." 

The entrance to the main area flashed as a forcefield was activated. 

"Let's go," ordered the woman, and they left the research area. 

Kathryn waited a few seconds to make sure nobody would re-enter before she stood up and walked over to the console where the two researchers had just been working.  In their haste, they had neglected to activate any kind of security codes, and she deactivated the containment field with the push of a button. 

She grabbed a stimulant off a nearby table and ran to Seven.  She applied the hypospray to the ex-drone's neck and waited for her to regain consciousness.  After a few seconds, her eyes slowly fluttered open and her gaze fell on Kathryn. 

"Captain," she said, the relief apparent in her voice. 

She helped her sit up.  "We have to get you out of here.  Do you think you can walk?" 

"I…believe so," said Seven, but she didn't sound too sure.  She was about to stand up when she looked up at the Captain suddenly.  "Icheb?" 

"Do you know where he is?" 

"There," said Seven, pointing to an adjoining room. 

Kathryn patted her on the arm and started to move away, but she stopped when Seven called after her. 

"Captain…thank you."  The emotion in her voice was apparent, and Kathryn's heart broke, wondering what she had been going through. 

"Anytime," she replied with an affectionate smile before she moved quickly to the door that Seven had indicated. 

She tried to open it, but it was locked.  She pounded the controls with her fist in frustration.  Taking a step back, she raised her phaser and fired at the panel.  It exploded in a shower of sparks.  Grabbing the manual release, she slowly forced the door open until the crack was wide enough to see through.  It was a small room, but it looked deserted. 

"Icheb?" she called. 

He stepped out from beside the door.  "Captain?" 

"Help me get this door open." 

They had just about got it far enough open for Icheb to squeeze his narrow frame through when Kathryn heard the main doors open. 

"Stop right there!" bellowed a voice. 

Captain Janeway reached for her phaser and turned around to see a dozen security guards at the entrance to the main part of the lab.  She managed to take out three of them before one of their shots hit home.  A phaser beam struck her in the chest and she sank to the ground unconscious. 

*    *    *

Walking down the crowded street in Paris, Tom glanced around before stepping into the small café beside him.  He had only been here once, years ago, but it had been easy enough to find the place using Chakotay's directions.  When his eyes adjusted to the darker atmosphere of the café, he looked around and walked towards the bar.  He ordered a glass of wine, and as he waited for it he looked surreptitiously around the restaurant.  In a dark corner, he spotted Chakotay and B'Elanna talking quietly at a table.  B'Elanna's back was to him, but Chakotay spotted him over her shoulder and gave him a small nod.  Tom acknowledged him and took his glass of wine from the waiter before nonchalantly moving over to their table. 

"No sign of him?" he asked as he sat down. 

"No," said B'Elanna.  "Did you find out anything?" 

"I talked to Commander Walker," Tom told them.  "He's been trying to track Seven down but he hasn't had any more luck than the rest of us.  Nobody's seen her since she and the Captain went to headquarters." 

Chakotay shook his head – this was not looking good.  "Anything else?" 

"Yeah – she blew off Naomi Wildman.  I talked to Sam – apparently Naomi and Seven had made arrangements to see some of the local tourist attractions since this is their first time on Earth.  Seven never showed, and she didn't call either." 

"That's not like her," said B'Elanna.  "Something's going on." 

"There's more," said Chakotay.  "I got a message yesterday from Caitlin Bennet – she hasn't been able to find Icheb." 

"Where was he supposed to be staying?" asked Tom. 

"He arranged for some quarters at Starfleet Academy, even though he hasn't been accepted yet.  Caitlin hasn't heard from him in over a week, and when she checked his quarters she said they looked like they hadn't been lived in." 

"This is too weird," said B'Elanna. 

They were silent for a few moments until Chakotay noticed something across the café.  "Tom," he said, indicating the newcomer with his head.  Tom turned around and saw his father near the entrance to the café.  Admiral Paris spotted them after a few moments and came over to join them.  He was in civilian attire so as not to attract attention, and he pulled up a chair and sat down. 

"Anything, Admiral?" asked Chakotay. 

Owen shook his head.  "Nobody that I've talked to at Starfleet Command has seen or heard from Captain Janeway since she supposedly started her debriefing." 

"What about the transmission she received asking her to relocate?" 

"I tried tracing it, but it was encrypted.  It was supposedly from Admiral Hayes, but he denies sending it.  If somebody at Headquarters is talking to her, it's top secret." 

"What about Seven?" asked Tom. 

"Nothing," said Owen.  "Nobody seems to have any idea where she is.  It appears your suspicions were correct, Commander." 

Chakotay sighed.  "I was hoping they weren't." 

"Nobody knows the Captain like you do, Chakotay," said B'Elanna.  "If you say she's in trouble I'd believe you whether there was evidence or not." 

"I've come across something else that's rather disturbing," said Admiral Paris.  "My aide, Lieutenant Statler, has disappeared." 

"Do you think he's being held with the Captain and Seven?" asked Tom. 

Owen sighed.  "I wish I did.  I'm inclined to believe it's something much more devious." 

Chakotay stiffened.  "You think he's responsible?" 

Admiral Paris shook his head.  "Not exactly.  I have reason to believe he may be linked to Section 31.  They may be the ones responsible for the disappearances of Captain Janeway and Seven of Nine." 

"Section 31?" 

"An extremist group within Starfleet Intelligence.  They're not sanctioned by Starfleet Command, and officially they don't exist, but they were heavily involved in the Dominion War.  I wouldn't be surprised if they're behind this, too." 

"What would they want with Captain Janeway?" asked B'Elanna. 

Owen shrugged.  "Who knows?  Their professed mission is to eliminate threats to the Federation, but I don't see how – "

"The Borg," interrupted Chakotay. 

The others turned and looked at him, waiting form him to continue. 

"When the Captain got the message that they wanted to debrief her further, she said it was about the Borg.  That's why they wanted to talk to Seven as well.  Or so they claimed." 

Owen nodded.  "If they're worried about the Borg they might want to talk to her.  Not to mention an ex-drone." 

"So what?  If that's the case, why would she refuse to cooperate?" asked B'Elanna.  "She could just tell them about our encounters with the Borg." 

"From what I've heard of Section 31, they may have their own ideas about what she should tell them." 

"No," said Chakotay as realization dawned.  "She's tied up with research." 

"What?" said B'Elanna. 

"That's what the Captain said about Seven – 'She's tied up with research'.  What if Section 31 is performing experiments on Seven and Icheb?" 

Tom caught on.  "The Captain might clam up until they stopped.  That could be why she wanted you to know there was trouble – they're treating Seven and Icheb like lab rats." 

"I wouldn't put it past them," said Owen. 

"So where do we go from here?" asked B'Elanna. 

"I haven't been able to find out the location of Section 31's facilities," said Admiral Paris.  "I'm beginning to suspect that they've got allies in Starfleet Command.  Otherwise they wouldn't be able to hide this easily."

Something else occurred to Chakotay.  "What about Admiral Blackwell?  Kathryn always said he gave her the creeps.  He was the one responsible for trying to keep us from using the wormhole." 

"It's possible," conceded Admiral Paris. 

Chakotay nodded.  "I'll let you handle things from that end, Admiral.  Tom, you contact the rest of the crew, but try not to tell them too much until you see them face to face.  There's no telling who might be listening in.  B'Elanna, you and I will start working on a way to locate them."

*    *    *

"You wanted to see me, Admiral?" 

Blackwell looked up from his desk at Lieutenant Statler.  "Come in, lieutenant.  I trust you've recovered from your unfortunate…indisposal." 

Statler shifted uncomfortably.  "Yes, sir." 

"Did you find out what happened?" 

"I think so.  Doctor Pierce later found a hypospray missing from the cart that Captain Janeway knocked over when she was in the infirmary.  We believe she managed to hide it on her person, and she later used it on Ensign McCarthy." 

Blackwell nodded.  "See that it doesn't happen again." 

"Yes, sir."  He waited for a moment.  "Will that be all, Admiral?" 

"No.  I've come across something rather interesting in Janeway's logs from during their encounter with the Borg and Species 8472."  He handed a PADD to Statler.  "To keep information away from the Borg until their alliance was finalized, Janeway kept all relevant information in their EMH's matrix." 

Realization crossed Statler's face and he looked up from the PADD.  "You think that she might have used the same strategy again?" 

Blackwell leaned back in his chair.  "It's worth a try.  Track him down and bring him here.  We'll have our engineers go through his matrix and see what they can come up with." 

"He might also be able to help us with the drones, sir.  He's become quite an expert on Borg technology."

"Hm," grunted Blackwell.  "Maybe so, but somehow I doubt that he'll see fit to cooperate." 

"I think we can make him see things from our perspective." 

"Something you want to share, lieutenant?" 

"The Equinox encounter, sir.  If you remember, Captain Ransom deleted the ethical subroutines of both his own and Voyager's EMH.  Ransom had no problem convincing him to operate on Seven of Nine once those subroutines were deleted.  It's likely they installed security protocols after the incident, but I'm sure it's nothing our engineers can't handle." 

Blackwell nodded.  "Agreed.  Get him." 

"Yes, Admiral." 

"I'm going to try another simulation on Janeway at 1800 hours." 

"Understood." 

"Dismissed, Lieutenant."

*    *    *

"Come in." 

Captain Janeway looked up as the doors to her ready room opened to admit her First Officer.  Walking over to her desk, he handed her a PADD. 

"Seven's found something useful in her parents' field notes – bio-dampening fields.  They should give us extra time without alerting the Borg." 

She nodded and studied the PADD.  "This is ingenious.  Let's just hope it works." 

"It could cut years off our journey.  It's worth the risk." 

She gave him an odd look. 

"Something wrong?" he asked. 

"No…I guess I just expected an objection of some sort.  You usually don't go along with my plans this readily – especially something this risky." 

He shrugged.  "We've got to do whatever it takes to get this crew home." 

She scrutinized him carefully.  Something seemed off, but she couldn't put her finger on it.  His expressions, his stance, the way he was interacting with her, all seemed a little bit off.  After staring at him for a few moments, she had a sudden flash of him standing in front of a large window overlooking San Francisco Bay.  It seemed to be in a large apartment, and he was dressed casually.  The morning sun was filtering in through the windows, and he had a cup of coffee in his hands.  She couldn't place the memory, and although it seemed very familiar she was at a loss to explain it. 

"Captain?" he said, interrupting the vision, or memory, whatever it was. 

She smiled and waved him off.  "It's nothing."  She got up from her desk and followed him over to the couch near the windows, and as she walked she tried to figure out where that flash of memory had come from.  It couldn't really be a memory, she reasoned, because she had never known Chakotay in San Francisco.  What was it, then?  An alternate reality?  Some kind of premonition?  A psychic projection?  Or the over active imagination of a stressed Captain, she chastened herself. 

Bringing herself back to their plan, they started to go over it one more time together in preparation for the heist.  They were interrupted before they got very far by the chime of her ready room. 

"Yes," she called in the direction of the door.  Seven of Nine entered, looking perturbed. 

As Captain Janeway watched her approach, she had a sudden vision of Seven standing in her ready room, but wearing a Starfleet uniform.  It was just as vivid as the previous vision, but before she had a chance to reason through it Seven caught her attention when she spoke. 

"I have been contacted by the Borg," she announced. 

"What?" said Chakotay, stiffening on the couch. 

"They are aware of our planned heist of the transwarp coil." 

The Captain looked at Seven and then at Chakotay as this news sank in.  "Damn," she muttered.  She leaned back on the couch and massaged her forehead with her hand.  "I guess that's it for Operation Fort Knox." 

"Not necessarily," said Seven.  "The Borg are willing to assist us by equipping Voyager with a transwarp coil." 

The Captain sat up straight.  "In exchange for what?" she said incredulously, glancing at Chakotay. 

"They want our assistance in developing an assimilation virus to use on Earth." 

Her shoulders sank in disappointment and she tilted her head down, pinching the bridge of her nose.  "So much for a transwarp coil." 

Seven shifted on her feet.  "Captain, I believe we should accept their proposal." 

Her head snapped back up.  "I'm sorry?" 

"Your goal is to reach the Alpha quadrant." 

"Yes." 

"With the Borg's assistance you will be able to achieve that goal." 

"That's not the point, Seven.  I want to get the crew home, but not at the price of billions of lives." 

"You have previously allied with the Borg to achieve your goal.  You assisted us in developing a method of assimilating species 8472." 

"Only because we believed that species 8472 was a threat to the entire galaxy.  We were allied with the Borg, yes, but helping them in assimilating Earth?  It's not even worth mentioning." 

Seven raised an eyebrow.  "You would turn down an opportunity of reaching the Alpha quadrant?" 

"To protect billions of innocent people?  In a heartbeat." 

"And does the crew share this opinion?" asked Seven maliciously. 

"Of course," she snapped. 

Chakotay, who had been observing them in silence, finally interjected.  "Captain…"

She turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow. 

"This could cut 20 years off our journey," he said. 

"Perhaps more," added Seven.  "The Borg have assured me that if our collaboration is successful they will supply us with multiple coils.  This vessel could reach the Alpha quadrant." 

"Captain, we could get home," pressed Chakotay. 

"You're serious?" she said, horrified.  She rose from the couch and walked over to her desk, putting her hands on it and leaning forward.  After a few seconds, she turned around and faced them.  "What good is getting home going to be if we've helped to assimilate the entire Federation?" 

Neither of them had an answer to that. 

"I can't believe we're even having this conversation," she said in frustration.  "I might have expected having to explain myself to you, Seven, but Chakotay – how could you of all people even consider this?" 

"I thought getting home was our first priority," he retorted. 

She stared at him incoherently.  This wasn't the man that she had been working with side by side for the past seven years. 

When that thought crossed her mind, she stopped suddenly and corrected herself.  Not seven years – five years.  After another moment, though, she paused.  What had caused her to make that mistake?  She turned back around to her desk and noticed that things looked out of place.  There seemed to be something missing, but she couldn't place it.  She reached over and ran her fingers along an empty spot on her desk.

_Something belongs here, she thought to herself. _

Moving her gaze around the desk, she noticed a holo-image of the senior staff that had been taken a few months ago.  She reached over and picked it up, examining it carefully.  As she stared at it, the picture seemed to change.  There were a few faces she didn't recognize – a dark-haired man, apparently human, and a woman who appeared to be Trill.  The Maquis officers, she noted with surprise, were wearing traditional Starfleet pips, and Seven was in a Starfleet uniform like Kathryn had envisioned her wearing a few minutes earlier.  She also noticed Tom and B'Elanna – they were standing next to each other, and B'Elanna was holding a baby in her arms. 

_Miral Kathryn Paris._

Captain Janeway had no idea where the name had come from, but she knew instinctively that it was the name of Tom and B'Elanna's daughter. 

But they didn't have a daughter. 

"Captain?" 

Chakotay's voice pulled Kathryn out of her reverie, and when she blinked and looked back at the picture it had returned to it's original state.  She replaced it on her desk and turned back around to face them. 

"We are not making a deal with the Borg," she said icily.  "Chakotay, alter course away from the Borg cube and go to yellow alert.  Keep an eye out for any sign of other Borg activity." 

"Captain – " he began, but she cut him off. 

"That's an _order, Commander," she said sharply.  "Dismissed." _

Seven and Chakotay filed out of her ready room, and she sighed and sat back down behind her desk. 

"You shouldn't have done that." 

She whirled around in her chair to see a Borg woman standing behind her.  She didn't have any facial implants above her shoulders, although she had an unusually shaped skull, and her smile certainly didn't look Borg. 

"Janeway to Security – intruder alert," she snapped, jumping out of her chair and backing away from her desk. 

"It won't work." 

"Who are you?  What do you want?" she asked, reaching slowly for the phaser she kept tucked under the top of her desk. 

"I am the Borg." 

Just as the Captain got her hands around the phaser, the Borg Queen reached out and grabbed her wrist, squeezing until she dropped the weapon. 

"Is that any way to treat a guest, Captain?" 

"An uninvited guest." 

"Come now, Captain.  We can help each other.  I trust Seven of Nine has informed you of my proposal?"

"If you want to call it that," she snorted.  "It's out of the question." 

The Queen cocked her head.  "You were hardly opposed to our previous alliance.  As I recall, you instigated it." 

"Not one of my best ideas." 

"You assisted us to repel species 8472," continued the Queen.  "In return, we gave you Seven of Nine."

"_Gave us Seven?  She hardly came willingly." _

"She would not have remained had she not been willing.  You also prevented species 6339 from infecting us with a virus they had created." 

"Only because it put Seven at risk.  I'm sorry to hear they didn't eventually succeed." 

Ignoring the Captain, the Borg Queen continued.  "I wish to continue our alliance.  You get a transwarp coil…" She stopped and looked carefully at the Captain.  "We assimilate Earth." 

"You don't actually expect me to accept that offer, do you?" 

"Your ship is your collective.  Others are irrelevant." 

"Not to me.  I'll stay here in the Delta quadrant if it protects Earth from the likes of you." 

The Queen glared.  "Perhaps others on your crew would be more…cooperative." 

Despite her recent unsettling exchange with Chakotay and Seven, Captain Janeway's faith in her crew was unwavering.  "If you want any of us to cooperate, you'll have to assimilate us." 

She stared down the Borg Queen, waiting for her to blink. 

"It's not working, sir." 

This time, the detached voice that seemed to come out of nowhere was a much faster trigger and Kathryn almost instantly recognized the voice of Lieutenant Statler and remembered what was going on. 

Her recognition that this was all another simulation was quickly followed by the now familiar flash of bright light and dizziness. 

This time as she became aware of her surroundings again, the pain in her head was worse.  She gasped and put a hand to her head, unable to concentrate enough even to listen to what Blackwell and Statler were saying. 

"Damn," said Statler when he noticed Kathryn's nose bleeding.  "It's happened again sir," 

"Fix it," commanded Blackwell icily. 

"I'll get her to the infirmary," said Statler as he moved to help the Captain to her feet. 

"No," said Blackwell.  "I don't want to let her out of this room.  Get the EMH." 

"Sir?" 

"You said you had him?" 

"Yes sir.  His program is stored in his mobile emitter, up in the engineering lab." 

"Well, get him.  Why take her to the infirmary when we can treat her here?" 

Statler nodded and left. 

Captain Janeway was aware of the passage of time, but had no idea if it was seconds or minutes before she heard Statler return.  The pain in her head was agonizing, and the wait felt much longer than it probably was. 

Statler held up the Doctor's mobile emitter and activated it. 

"Please state the nature of…"  The Doctor's voice trailed off as he looked around the room.  His face became angry when his gaze fell on Lieutenant Statler.  "You!  You're the one who was trying to deactivate my program!" 

Blackwell stood up from the desk and moved towards the Doctor.  "I had no idea he was so…lifelike."

"I'll take that as a compliment," returned the EMH.  "Now would somebody tell me what I'm doing here?  Who are you?" 

"Not that it matters, but I'm Admiral Blackwell, and this is Lieutenant Statler." 

"Oh yes, the thug," said the Doctor.  "We've met.  Now what…"  He stopped abruptly as his gaze fell on the half-conscious Janeway. 

He immediately moved over to the chair where she was seated.  "Captain, can you hear me?"  She was unresponsive, and the Doctor turned to Statler.  "What's wrong with her?" 

In response, Statler handed him a medical tricorder.  He took it reluctantly and used it to scan the Captain.

"She has dozens of ruptured blood vessels throughout her cerebral cortex," he said, horrified.  He yanked the small device off her temple.  "What is this?" 

Statler took the device from him.  "That's none of your business.  Now treat her, and make it quick." 

The Doctor took the medkit that one of the nearby officers handed to him and turned back to the Captain.  He stopped the intercranial bleeding, then applied a hypospray to her neck to wake her up. 

She groaned softly before she opened her eyes.  "Doctor?"  In a much quieter voice, she added, "What are you doing here?" 

"It's all right, Captain, you're going to be fine," he said in a normal voice.  Whispering, he added, "I was on my way to a medical conference on Vulcan to discuss my innovative treatment of…never mind.  Suffice it to say, my program was deactivated en route and I ended up here." 

He pretended to continue treating her.  "They have Seven and Icheb," she told him quietly. 

"I know," he told her.  "I spoke with Lieutenant Paris and Commander Chakotay yesterday, and they told me of your predicament.  I had no idea I'd be sharing it." 

"They know I'm here?"  The plaintive relief in her voice was so moving that the Doctor stopped his pretence of treating her and put a hand on her arm. 

"They don't know where you are, but they're certainly looking for you.  While I was on Vulcan, I was going to inform Commander Tuvok of the situation so he could assist us.  Mr. Paris said they've been trying to track down Section 31 ever since you spoke to Commander Chakotay." 

"Section 31?" 

He looked at her in surprise.  "Isn't that who these people are?" 

"I don't know who they're working for." 

Statler interrupted their conversation, although he didn't seem to be aware that they were having one.  "Are you almost done, Doctor?" 

"A few more minutes," said the Doctor over his shoulder.  "This little device of yours nearly turned her cerebral cortex into swiss cheese." 

He turned back to the Captain.  "Have you seen Seven and Icheb?" 

She nodded.  "Level 4, down the hallway, third door on your left.  It's a research lab.  Lots of people." 

"Understood."  He folded up the tricorder.  "I'll try and find out where we are and get a message to Commander Chakotay." 

"Good luck, Doctor." 

He stood up.  "Same to you, Captain." 

Statler stepped forward.  "See you soon, Doctor," he said as he deactivated the mobile emitter. 

"Lieutenant," said Blackwell.  "Reset the simulation.  We'll try again tomorrow.  A different time frame, perhaps." 

"Unimatrix Zero, sir?" 

Blackwell nodded.  "Yes, I'd be interested to see her reactions to that." 

He and Statler started to gather up their equipment and Statler headed for the door.  Blackwell started to follow him. 

"I'm curious, Admiral," said Kathryn, and he stopped and turned around. 

"About what?" 

"My motive."  She leaned forward in her chair with her elbows on her knees.  "You're convinced that I've been conspiring against the Federation.  What I can't figure out is what you think my motivation could be."

He looked at her for a few minutes before he moved towards her.  "I've studied your psychological profile extensively, Captain.  My belief is that your motive is twofold." 

She looked at him in surprise, not having expected such a calm and rational answer from a man whom she was convinced was unbalanced.  "Oh?" 

"First of all, I believe you'd go to any lengths to get your crew home." 

"Almost." 

"Secondly, I believe you were motivated by revenge." 

"Revenge?" 

"You've been known to hold a grudge, Captain.  I can see that from your First Officer's accounts of your encounter with Captain Ransom." 

She looked at him, confused.  "I don't understand.  Revenge against whom?" 

"Starfleet." 

Her confusion increased.  "For what?" 

He stared at her.  "For letting you become stranded in the Delta quadrant." 

"_What?" she said, her voice dangerously low.  It took a minute for her to find her voice among her racing thoughts.  "How…?"_

He seemed surprised at her confusion.  "It seems we may have overestimated you, Captain.  I was almost certain you had figured it out.  I assumed that was why you refused to cooperate with us." 

"Figured what out?" 

"Or perhaps you _do know," he continued, "But you want to see how much __I know."  He watched her carefully for a few moments before he seemed to reach a decision. _

"Approximately six weeks after you were thrown into the Delta Quadrant, you encountered a wormhole.  A very small one, with a temporal distortion.  When you tried to communicate through it, you encountered a Romulan scientist." 

"Telek," she whispered, realization beginning to dawn. 

He nodded as he circled her.  "You wanted him to deliver messages to your family.  Unfortunately, he died before Voyager was even built." 

"He never sent the messages." 

"No, he didn't.  He didn't forget you, though.  One of our agents encountered him in 2365.  We interrogated him on an unrelated matter, and we inadvertently stumbled on something else – his encounter with you."

She stared at him in disbelief.  "You knew.  You _knew we would be thrown across the galaxy if we were sent into the badlands." _

"Yes," he said candidly.  "We couldn't turn down the opportunity of sending a ship into the heart of Borg territory.  We wanted you to assess any possible threats to the Federation.  Unfortunately, we didn't account for your forming an alliance with the Borg." 

"You knew," she repeated, still reeling from the information.  Despite all the fond memories she had of her crew, she was overcome by a sudden rush of painful memories.  Crewmembers dying.  The ship under attack.  Feeling isolated.  No contact with home.  Her head snapped up and she glared at the Admiral. 

"Do you know what I went through the past seven years?  What my entire crew went through?  I lost too many people…and it could have been avoided?" 

"It was worth the risk.  Finding out what we were up against with the Borg…it was worth the loss of a single ship." 

She stared at him, trying to comprehend the enormity of his admission.  "You sent us out there to die." 

"We didn't send you anywhere.  We allowed events to occur in such a way that you would be able to perform surveillance on the Delta quadrant.  I'll admit we hardly expected you to return so soon…but we didn't expect you to get help along the way from the Borg." 

She sighed, not wanting to get him started on his accusations again. 

When she didn't respond, he stopped his pacing and studied her for a few minutes before he grunted and then left her alone. 

As soon as the doors closed behind him, Kathryn let out a sob that she had been holding in.  She got out of her chair and paced back and forth in the room before she settled in front of the window.  She choked back another sob –  this was just too much for her to handle.  Blackwell and his followers had known what was going to happen to Voyager and yet had done nothing about it.  Despite all the good that had come of those seven years – rescuing Seven, Icheb and the others from the Borg, Tom and B'Elanna's marriage, her and Chakotay – she couldn't get all the faces of those who hadn't made it this far out of her mind.  Those who hadn't made it to the Delta Quadrant.  Her helmsman, Stadi.  Her original First Officer, Cavit.  Her chief engineer and chief medical officer.  Many had been lost along the way.  Lieutenant Durst.  Crewman Bendera.  Ensign Bennet.  Lieutenant Hogan.  Ensign Kaplan.  Ensign Jetal. 

A tear rolled down her cheek.  She wouldn't give up the past seven years for anything, but…there had been so much suffering.  Needless suffering. 


	7. Full Circle

DISCLAIMER:   You all know the drill - Paramount is God.  All hail Paramount.  They own everything in the Star Trek Universe - I'm just using my overactive imagination to take their characters where they refuse to go.  All in the name of fun, not profit (I wish).

SUMMARY: Captain Janeway must come to terms with what she has learned as the crew begin their new lives on Earth.

THE LONG ROAD HOME

PARADISE LOST

CHAPTER SEVEN : FULL CIRCLE

"We've got a problem." 

Chakotay looked up from his computer as B'Elanna came into the room.  "What now?" 

She walked over and leaned forward on the desk.  "The Doctor's missing." 

"What?" 

"He was supposed to leave for Vulcan this afternoon.  Tom was going to meet him at the transport to give him some final details about his meeting with Tuvok.  The Doc never showed." 

"There could be any number of reasons that he wasn't there." 

B'Elanna shook her head.  "I called Starfleet Medical.  They claim he changed his plans and decided to attend another conference near Starbase 137." 

"And?" 

"There is a conference…but they're not expecting the Doctor." 

"Maybe it was a last-minute decision," he offered. 

She smirked.  "You really think the Doctor would go anywhere where he wasn't the main attraction?" 

Chakotay chuckled softly.  "Good point.  I guess he's missing." 

"Still no sign of him?" 

Chakotay and B'Elanna turned around as Tom entered the room, carrying Miral.  "No," his wife told him.

Tom sighed.  "That's one less person to help us." 

"Who have you contacted so far?" 

Tom looked at the PADD in his hands.  "I talked to Mark this morning – he's in.  Same with Harry, of course.  He should be here any minute.  Neelix is willing to do whatever's necessary.  I don't want to risk using a comm channel to contact Tuvok – that was the Doc's job." 

"Get a hold of Ensign Porter," said Chakotay. 

Tom grinned.  "I called her an hour ago.  She's spoken to the Yukon crew and most of the junior staff – without telling them anything, of course.  She said every single one of them is willing to go the distance if we need them." 

"Good," said Chakotay.  "I hate to drag them into this, but it's good to know we have help if we need it."

"So what's the plan?" 

The three companions turned to the new voice in the door and saw Harry Kim standing in the doorway, a bag slung over his shoulder. 

"Harry," said Tom.  "Just in time." 

"What did I miss?" he said as he moved over to join them, clapping Tom on the shoulder. 

"Just going over the final details.  We have one new snag – Doc's gone missing." 

"I thought you were meeting him at the transport," said Harry. 

"So did I," said Tom.  "But we can still manage without him and Tuvok.  The trick will be finding them in the first place." 

"Once we know where they are, we're ready to go," said B'Elanna. 

Harry took a PADD that Tom offered him.  "What's this?" 

"The hangar where they're keeping the Delta Flyer," said Tom.  "Courtesy of my father.  How do you feel about a little theft?" 

Harry grinned.  "You're going to steal it?" 

"_We're going to steal it.  We need transporters, and it's the best ship this side of the Delta Quadrant.  Not to mention it's the only shuttle in the sector that's equipped with a cloaking device." _

"We still have to locate them," said Chakotay. 

"That might easier if they've got the Doc," said B'Elanna.  "Some of the alloys in his mobile emitter haven't been invented yet.  If we can scan for any of them, we can narrow down their position." 

"Harry, you and B'Elanna get on it," said Chakotay.  "I'm going to keep trying to get a hold of the Captain again.  Hopefully they'll let her talk to me again and we can find out some more about what's going on." 

*    *    *

_Captain, we're receiving a transmission…it's Borg._

The Captain's head snapped up and she looked over at Chakotay beside her.  "I'm on my way," she said as they jumped off the couch and strode through her ready room doors onto the bridge. 

"Any sign of Borg vessels?" she asked Harry as she moved over to her chair. 

He shook his head.  "I'm not reading anything on sensors." 

She looked at Chakotay with a raised eyebrow. 

"Maybe we should see what they want," he suggested. 

She gave him a strange look but nodded in Harry's direction.  "Onscreen." 

The face of the Borg Queen filled the viewscreen. 

"Captain," she offered politely. 

The Captain shook off a strong feeling of déjà vu.  "It's been a while.  How are things in the Collective?" 

"Perfect…for the most part.  I would like your assistance to rectify that." 

She looked sideways at Chakotay.  "Oh?" 

"Your drone has infiltrated the Borg resistance movement known as Unimatrix Zero." 

She froze – the Borg were aware of their involvement.  "I have no idea what you're talking about." 

"Come now, Captain.  Be honest.  I know all about Seven of Nine's visits there.  That's why your assistance would be an asset.  You're going to help me destroy them." 

Her eyes narrowed.  "I have no intention of destroying them." 

That seemed to surprise the Queen.  "You intend to assist them?" 

"I didn't say that." 

The Queen's voice became more menacing than usual.  "That would be a mistake, Captain.  I thought we had an alliance." 

She snorted.  "We have nothing of the sort."  She looked at Harry over her shoulder.  "Ensign, cut the transmission." 

The screen went blank and she turned to Chakotay.  Before she said anything, she felt a sharp headache and gasped, putting her hand to her head.  When she opened her eyes after a few seconds, her surroundings on the bridge seemed faint, like they were superimposed on another image.  It seemed as though she was sitting in what looked like somebody's quarters, and there were men in new Starfleet uniforms moving around.  It was difficult to make out their faces, but she had a feeling it was familiar.  Another wave of pain came over her, and she leaned forward, gasping in agony. 

"Statler – what's going on?  Why is it stopping?" 

"I'm not sure, sir.  It looks like the interface is causing severe synaptic damage." 

She heard their voices and it all came back to her, although she was in so much pain that it didn't really register. 

"Get the EMH," ordered Blackwell. 

Kathryn heard Statler move away from her, and then was able to make out the telltale sizzle of the Doctor coming online. 

"Please state the nature of…Captain?" 

She heard him come over to her.  She felt his hand on her chin as he turned her face towards him.  He was arguing with Statler and Blackwell, but she was unable to make out what they were saying until she felt the hypospray on her neck.  As the painkillers worked their way through her bloodstream, her mind and vision cleared.

"Doctor," she croaked. 

"Captain, what are you doing here?" 

She frowned, raising her head slightly.  "Have you been able to find Seven?" she asked in a low voice. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"The other day…I told you where you could find her." 

He appeared to be confused.  "Captain…this is the first time I've seen you in weeks." 

She laid her head back in frustration.  "Of course…they must have deleted your memory files." 

"My security measures – "

Statler, overhearing them, interrupted.  "Were easily overcome by our engineers." 

The Doctor bolted upright and turned around. 

"Although I must admit they were quite a challenge at first," continued Statler.  "We were very impressed."

Despite his fury at the tampering to his program, the Doctor's primary programming took over.  "Captain Janeway has severe intercranial bleeding.  I need to perform some microvascular repair before it gets any worse." 

"Not so fast, Doctor," said Blackwell, moving towards them.  "Our engineers were able to get past your security protocols to purge your memory buffer, but we're having problems with other elements of your program." 

The Doctor looked at them suspiciously.  "Such as?" 

"More of your security protocols," offered Statler.  "None of our engineers can recognize the encryption codes." 

The Doctor preened.  "That's because we invented them…with a little help from our resident Borg." 

"Then you should be able to deactivate them." 

He snorted.  "And why would I do that?" 

Blackwell stepped forward menacingly.  "Because I won't allow you to treat Captain Janeway until you show us how to disengage your security protocols." 

That gave the EMH pause.  His eyes darted back to the Captain, who was still in significant pain, and then back to Blackwell and Statler.  "For what purpose?" he asked, stalling for time. 

"None of your business," said Blackwell. 

Despite the throbbing pain in her head, Captain Janeway was able to see what Blackwell and Statler wanted.  "Doctor." 

He looked at her. 

"Quiet!" yelled Blackwell, apprehension apparent in his face.  Statler, also looking worried, started to move towards her. 

"Captain Ransom," she said quickly before Statler reached her.  The officer froze in his tracks and looked at Blackwell. 

The name was all that was needed to make the Doctor realize what was going on.  "You're trying to delete my ethical subroutines!" 

Blackwell and Statler didn't attempt to deny it.  "Why?" he asked. 

They were silent, but Kathryn told him, clenching her teeth against the pain.  "Seven and Icheb." 

He stared at her in disbelief before turning on the other two officers.  "Absolutely not," he said. 

Blackwell shrugged.  "If you don't cooperate, Captain Janeway doesn't get treatment." 

The Doctor's gaze darted towards his Captain, obviously wavering.  He was being forced to choose between two of his closest friends – Captain Janeway and Seven of Nine.  It was a choice he didn't want to be forced to make. 

He made eye contact with the Captain, and she shook her head almost imperceptibly. 

"Captain," he began to protest, unwilling to let her suffer, but she stopped him. 

"That's an order, Doctor," she said as firmly as she could manage. 

He looked at her for a long time before he nodded sharply. 

Blackwell became angry.  "If you want to help her, Doctor, you'll help us with your program." 

The Doctor turned to him, some satisfaction apparent in his expression at being able to refuse them.  "I'm a Doctor, not an engineer." 

"Shut him down," ordered Blackwell dismissively. 

Statler moved towards the Doctor and reached for the emitter. 

"I'm sorry, Captain," said the EMH, and a few seconds later he disappeared. 

Kathryn laid her head on the back of the chair and squeezed her eyes shut.  She knew it had to be this way.  If they managed to disable the Doctor's ethical subroutines, who knows what they would do to Seven and Icheb.  She had been hoping, though, that they would let him treat her first.  The painkiller he had given her had taken the edge off the pain, but it was still there.  At least she knew that Chakotay and the rest of her crew were already looking for her.

*    *    *

"Any sign they've detected us?" 

Harry looked up from his station on the Delta Flyer.  "Not yet.  They're running sensor sweeps, but they haven't locked onto our cloak yet.  We should have another half-hour at least." 

Chakotay nodded.  "Hopefully that will be long enough." 

They had managed to steal the Delta Flyer without incident.  Tom and B'Elanna had easily gained access to the hangar since they were working with Starfleet on updating the specs, and they had boarded the Flyer and engaged the cloaking device before the security guards knew what hit them. 

"Got it!" yelled B'Elanna from the back of the Flyer where she was working at her station. 

Chakotay, Tom, and Harry all turned around in their seats, and Ensign Porter and Neelix came up from the cargo hold. 

"You've found them?" asked Chakotay. 

B'Elanna nodded.  "I've got a sensor lock on one of the alloys in the Doc's mobile emitter.  I can get us within a range of…about 200 meters." 

"Tom?" 

The helmsman nodded.  "Setting a course." 

"Keep us about a kilometer up.  And watch out for shuttle traffic." 

"Yes, sir." 

Harry got up from his station and moved over to join B'Elanna at her station.  "Can you scan for their bio-signatures?" 

B'Elanna shook her head.  "The building that they're in is shielded.  I can barely keep a lock on the Doctor." 

"Try using a narrow band transporter beam to scan for them," suggested Harry. 

She nodded.  "Good idea."

*    *    *

"_That's Section 31?" said Tom incredulously as the Delta Flyer drew closer to the building._

Chakotay walked up behind Tom and looked over his shoulder out the window.  "Doesn't look like much, does it?" 

The building was spread out, but not very high – no more than 6 stories high – and was plain and white, with few windows.  A large sign on the front of the structure pronounced it to be the home of the Sommerset Research Group. 

"Take us in, Tom," ordered Chakotay before he moved back to the rear of the Flyer.  "Any luck with their shields, Harry?" 

The lieutenant looked up and shook his head.  "Afraid not.  We'll have to get within a hundred meters of the building to be able to transport." 

"Good enough." 

"I've got a fix on the Doctor's emitter," announced B'Elanna, drawing their attention.  Chakotay and Harry moved over to stand behind her.  B'Elanna pulled up the schematics of the building, and the image tilted and fell away so they were looking at it from above.  From the top, the building was square with a courtyard in the middle.  A small flashing icon was located in one of the far corners of the building. 

"He's on the second floor," said B'Elanna.  "Looks like some kind of research lab." 

"The Captain?" asked Chakotay, trying to keep the anxiousness out of his voice. 

B'Elanna looked at him sadly for a few seconds before she turned back to her console.  "Not yet," she said quietly.  "But I'll keep trying." 

"What about Seven and Icheb?" asked Harry. 

"No sign of them." 

"Using a narrow beam transporter didn't work?" 

She sighed.  "It might, but it's taking too long.  We don't have time to scan every square millimeter of this building.  When they find out we stole the Delta Flyer, they'll move them for sure." 

Mark was listening to them from the stairs to the aft section and chimed in.  "Maybe the Doctor will know where they're being held." 

"Once we're inside the building," said Harry, "We should be able to locate them with tricorders." 

Chakotay stared at the expansive plan of the building.  "I certainly hope so." 

"Commander?" yelled Tom from the helm.  "We're passing through their shields." 

Chakotay nodded.  "Mark, you and Robin are with me.  Harry, beam us as close as you can to the Doctor's location."  He started to move away, but B'Elanna grabbed his arm and got up from her seat. 

"Don't you dare try and leave me out of this." 

"B'Elanna, we need you here." 

"No, you don't.  Tom and Harry have it covered in case something goes wrong." 

He looked at her for a moment before he nodded.  She smiled gratefully and started to follow him towards the rear of the Flyer. 

"B'Elanna?" called Tom.  She stopped and turned around.  "Be careful," he said affectionately.  "I'd hate to have to change all those diapers by myself." 

She smiled.  "You got it.  See you soon." 

She moved down the stairs to the lower part of the Flyer, where the rest of the team was getting ready.  Chakotay was conferring with Commander Walker, and Ensign Porter was preparing an emergency medkit, just in case. 

The entire team was outfitted in newer issue Starfleet uniforms, to avoid suspicion as long as possible if they were noticed.  Mark handed B'Elanna a phaser and a tricorder, which she holstered in her belt. 

"What are we waiting for?" she asked with a smile. 

"Energize, Harry," ordered Chakotay, and the entire team dematerialized. 

They materialized in a dark corner of a deserted, darkened research lab.  They carefully checked to make sure their beam-in was not observed, but there were only a few researchers walking around since it was late at night. 

"B'Elanna?" whispered Chakotay. 

She whipped out her tricorder and scanned for a few seconds before she looked at him and nodded, pointing off to the left.  Keeping to the shadows, they moved quietly in the direction that she had indicated.

About twenty meters from their beam-in site, they found the Doctor's emitter sitting on a research table.  They were crouched down near the floor, and B'Elanna reached up and quickly palmed the emitter.  Chakotay noticed one of the technicians moving towards them, and he motioned to Mark to circle around to the right, while he moved around in the other direction. 

They were on opposite sides of the doorway when the researcher passed through it, heading towards where B'Elanna and Robin were concealed.  Chakotay and Mark jumped out and grabbed the man from behind, covering his mouth so he couldn't sound the alarm.  The man continued to struggle and glared at his captors. 

"Where's Captain Janeway?" demanded Chakotay. 

The researcher glared at him defiantly and didn't move. 

Mark shook his head.  "He's very well trained, Commander.  We won't get anything out of him." 

Chakotay caught Robin's eye as she was crouching behind the console, and she came out of hiding and moved over them and opened her medkit.  She pulled out a hypospray and applied it to the man's neck.  He continued to struggle for a few seconds before the drug took effect and he slumped into unconsciousness.  Chakotay and Mark dragged him over to a nearby desk and put him in a chair, sitting him up so it would appear at first glance that he was merely sleeping. 

Mark and Robin pulled out their phasers and each kept watch at the two entrances to the room they were in while B'Elanna activated the Doctor. 

"Please state the nature of the…Lieutenant?  Commander?"  The EMH looked around at his surroundings.  "Where am I?" 

"No time to explain, Doctor," said Chakotay.  "What's the last thing you remember?" 

He thought for a moment.  "Speaking with Captain Janeway in her quarters." 

The relief on Chakotay's face was apparent.  "You've seen her?" 

He nodded.  "Twice, apparently, although I have no memory of our first encounter." 

"What about Seven and Icheb?" 

The Doctor frowned.  "The Captain said they were here as well, but I'm afraid she didn't get a chance to tell me where.  I got the impression, though, that she knows where to find them." 

"Do you know where the Captain is?" asked Chakotay anxiously. 

The Doctor nodded.  "She's on the ground floor.  Her room borders a small courtyard, and the window faces east." 

B'Elanna hit her commbadge.  "Torres to Kim." 

_Go ahead._

"We've got the Doctor, and he's given us a lead for the Captain's whereabouts.  Scan the rooms on the ground floor that border the courtyard, facing east." 

_Acknowledged._

They waited over a minute before Harry responded again. 

_I've got her.  The adjacent quarters are empty, and it looks like there's a ventilation shaft connecting them to the Captain's._

"Good work, Harry.  Beam us in there," ordered Chakotay. 

_Energizing._

When the glare from the transporter beam faded, they looked around but couldn't see anything.  Once they turned their wrist flashlights on, they were able to see that they were in small living quarters that appeared to be uninhabited. 

"The access is over here," said B'Elanna, leading the way over to the far wall. 

She and Chakotay knelt down and tried to pull on an access hatch, but it wouldn't give.  Mark and Robin tried to help them, but even together they were unable to remove the hatch. 

"We should have known," said Mark.  "Even the access to the ventilation shafts is locked."

"Now what?" said B'Elanna. 

"We could beam directly into her quarters," suggested Robin. 

"It's possible she's not alone," said the Doctor. "We could be outnumbered." 

They were silent for a moment before B'Elanna thought of something.  "Well, we do have a hologram."

Nobody picked up on what she was suggesting except the Doctor.  He moved in between the group and stuck his arm through the access port, reaching around until he found the release and the others pulled it off.  Chakotay climbed in first, followed by B'Elanna, the Doctor, Mark and Robin.  They only had to crawl for a few meters before they reached the other end.  Chakotay and B'Elanna quietly released the hatch and lowered it to the ground.  They could hear raised voices coming from the next room, so Chakotay motioned to the others to be quiet and they deactivated their wrist lights.  Before Chakotay climbed out, Mark reached out and grabbed his arm. 

"She's here," he said, and Chakotay nodded in response before climbing out. 

They exited the tube into a small bedroom.  Chakotay immediately recognized some of Kathryn's things lying around the room. 

The voices from the next room grew clearer as they moved quietly across the room towards the doorway.  Chakotay motioned for them to stay low while they assessed the situation.

Kathryn stood in front of Admiral Blackwell, looking at the floor and rubbing her temple with her hand in a futile effort to work away the crushing pain that was impeding her concentration. 

"I spoke to my contact on Cardassia today," the Admiral was saying.  "He's more than willing to push for the extradition of your Maquis.  They could be in Cardassian prisons within a few weeks." 

She squeezed her eyes shut.  "They'd never survive."  Normally, her voice would have had more of an edge to it, but she was tired of her futile attempts to rationalize with Admiral Blackwell.  Responding at all was more of a reaction than anything. 

"An unfortunate reality.  Do you really want those lives on your conscience, Captain?  Especially considering the number of crewmembers you lost in the Delta Quadrant…how many was it?  45?" 

"47," she corrected quietly.  She knew the number by heart - the number of people that hadn't made it back home, or who hadn't even made it to the Delta Quadrant.  Lives that until now she had felt completely responsible for. 

"Those lives are already on your shoulders," said Blackwell. 

She looked up – hitting that nerve was enough to reawaken her anger against the Admiral. 

"Wrong, Admiral -- they're on _your shoulders, and you know it," she said vehemently.  "I lost 14 fine officers when Voyager was thrown across the galaxy – those lives are on __your conscience, not mine.  You set the whole chain of events in motion." _

"I did nothing of the sort," he said angrily. 

"You stood by and did _nothing while my crew was killed and thrown halfway across the galaxy."_

"I chose not to interfere." 

"You _knew!" she said, the pent-up emotions from the past seven years coming to the surface. _

"You conspired with the Borg!" he yelled. 

She took a deep breath, trying to regain control of her emotions.  "No," she said in a calmer voice, "I didn't." 

"We're going to discuss Unimatrix Zero and your communications with the Borg Queen." 

She stared him down in silence, trying to stay upright despite the pounding agony in her head. 

He stepped forward.  "_Now.  Have a seat." _

She glared at him, not moving.  "_No."_

He took another step forward and grabbed her forearm in a tight grip, yanking her forcefully closer to him.

"You're not in a position to negotiate, Captain." 

"Let her go." 

They whipped their heads around to see Chakotay and the others standing in the entrance to the bedroom with their phasers raised.  Captain Janeway gasped in relief, gaining strength from the sight of her crewmates.  Blackwell glared at them furiously but did not release Captain Janeway's arm. 

"Let her go," said B'Elanna, stepping up behind Chakotay. 

Kathryn, taking the initiative, furiously yanked her arm away from the Admiral's grip, freeing herself.  She stumbled backwards as her arm was released, and the pain in her head was severe enough that she was disoriented and started to fall.  Chakotay, who had already stepped forward to forcibly release the Admiral's hand, caught her before she hit the ground. 

"Are you okay?" he asked her as B'Elanna moved the Admiral over to the other side of the room. 

She nodded as he helped her regain her balance.  "My head hurts," she mumbled weakly.  She turned around and slowly put her hand to the side of his face. 

"I see you got my message," she whispered. 

"Loud and clear." 

She gasped softly and put her hand to her head, squinting in pain. 

"Kathryn?" he said, grabbing her by the shoulders. 

"My head," she slurred before her knees gave out from under and she collapsed in his arms. 

The Doctor was instantly beside them as Chakotay supported her in a sitting position. 

"What's wrong?" he asked the EMH as he scanned her. 

"She has severe cerebral hemorrhaging.  The last time we spoke, the Admiral refused to let me treat her."

"Can you treat her?" 

"Not until we get her back to the Delta Flyer." 

Chakotay was about to hail Tom and Harry for a transport when he remembered Seven and Icheb.  He looked up at Mark and nodded towards Admiral Blackwell, who was being held at bay by B'Elanna. 

Mark stepped over to the Admiral.  "Where are you holding Seven of Nine?" 

"The Borg are coming, aren't they?" insisted the Admiral.  "She managed to contact them somehow." 

"Where is she?" asked Mark. 

"How many cubes?  We have to intercept them!" 

Mark shook his head in disappointment and turned to Chakotay.  "It's no good – I can't read anything, and he seems to be mentally unbalanced." 

He walked over and knelt beside the Captain's unconscious form. 

"She's the only one who knows where to find them, Chakotay." 

Chakotay nodded reluctantly and turned to the Doctor.  "Can you wake her?" 

The Doctor nodded and took a hypospray from Ensign Porter, applying it to the Captain.  After a few seconds, she regained consciousness and looked around, disoriented. 

"Chakotay," she said when she saw his face, trying to sit up. 

"It's all right, Kathryn," he assured her. 

She shook her head.  "No," she whispered hoarsely.  "Seven…Icheb…"

He nodded and put his hand on her shoulder.  "Do you know where they are?" 

"Yes," she said, trying to use him to push herself up. 

"Hey," he said, holding her down, "You're not going anywhere except back to the Flyer.  Tell us how to find them." 

"It'll be faster if I go with you," she insisted, her resolve returning. 

"Kathryn, you need medical attention." 

"I'll live with it."  She turned to the Doctor.  "I know how to get to the research lab, but we need a voice print access to use the turbolifts.  We need you to imitate the voice of Lieutenant Statler." 

"I guess Admiral Paris' suspicions were well founded." 

She nodded.  "He works for Admiral Blackwell.  I know his access code if we can get the Doctor to fake his voice print." 

"It won't work, Captain!" yelled Blackwell.  "The Borg will be stopped!" 

"Doctor, would you mind sedating the Admiral?" she asked. 

"My pleasure," muttered the EMH, grabbing another hypospray.  He sedated the Admiral, ignoring his protests, and then B'Elanna started to work on his mobile emitter. 

"How are we going to get Lieutenant Statler's voice print?" she asked as she worked. 

"What about communication logs?" suggested Ensign Porter.  "You said he was the one who was always refusing to let you talk to the Captain, Commander." 

"B'Elanna?" asked Chakotay. 

"That would do it." 

He hit his commbadge.  "Chakotay to Paris." 

_Go ahead._

"We've found the Captain. We're going to go after Seven and Icheb, but we need to modify the Doctor's vocal algorithms to gain access.  Can you access your personal communication logs and download the voiceprint of Lieutenant Statler from one of your conversations?" 

_Acknowledged.  They waited a minute before he responded again. __Got it._

"Transmit it into B'Elanna's tricorder." 

_Understood._

B'Elanna looked up and nodded.  "Got it.  I'm downloading it into the Doc's emitter."  She looked up at the Doc before she hit another button on his emitter.  "How's that?" 

"You tell me," said the Doctor in Lieutenant Statler's voice. 

"That's him all right," said the Captain, trying to push herself up again.  "Let's go." 

"Kathryn…" protested Chakotay again. 

"Do I have to make that an order?" she asked with a smile. 

He stared at her in silence. 

"Chakotay, if I go with you, you'll have a much better chance of getting them out of there.  I've already been in their facility once – I could get in there blindfolded." 

"All right.  But as soon as we've got them, we're going back to the Flyer." 

"Agreed," she said as he helped her up.  "Believe me, I'll be glad to leave this place behind."

*    *    *

"The next door on the left," she said as they moved down the corridor.  Chakotay and Mark took up position on either side of the large doors, and Chakotay nodded to the Doctor.  The hologram pushed the button to open the door. 

_Clearance code required._

"They've added new security measures since I broke in," said the Captain quietly.  "We'll have to be careful." 

The Doctor nodded and turned back to the door.  "Authorization Statler gamma four five one." 

The doors slid open.  The Doctor went in first, followed by Chakotay and then the rest of the group.  Mark took up the rear. 

"Over there," pointed the Captain.  "A small room on the right." 

The Doctor and B'Elanna moved in the indicated direction, and Kathryn was about to follow when she was overcome by a wave of dizziness and stumbled against a nearby console. 

Chakotay came up behind her and steadied her on her feet.  "Are you sure you're okay?" 

She nodded.  "I'll be fine once we're out of here." 

She noticed that B'Elanna and the Doctor had not opened the door to where Seven and Icheb were being held.  "Problems?" 

"They're in there," said B'Elanna, "But it's locked." 

"I'll take care of it," said Mark, moving past the Captain and Chakotay with his phaser raised.  "Stand back." 

They complied and Mark fired at the control panel, disintegrating it in a shower of sparks.  They got the door open, and Icheb quickly came out, supporting Seven.  Her hair was loose and fell around her shoulders, and she and Icheb were both wearing aqua medical gowns. 

"Are you all right?" the Doctor asked Icheb. 

"I am undamaged," he said.  "But Seven's cortical implant is malfunctioning." 

Mark put his hand on Seven's chin and lifted her face up.  She seemed disoriented and her eyes appeared to be unfocused. 

"Seven?  Can you hear me?" 

When she didn't respond, he moved his hand from her chin up to the side of her face and cupped her cheek with the palm of his hand.  "Annika?" 

This time she responded.  "Mark," she whispered. 

"It's okay," he reassured her. 

She removed her arm from Icheb's shoulders and wrapped her arms around his neck.  He pulled her close to him, too, and they stood in each other's arms cheek to cheek. 

It was ironic, thought Kathryn as she watched them.  Seven was here because she was Borg and was considered as little more than a piece of technology…but she had never seen her looking as human as she did right now.  The emotion on her face at being rescued and reunited with Mark was obvious, especially to someone who knew her as well as she did. 

Chakotay stepped forward, reluctantly interrupting the tender moment.  "We have to get out of here," he said, putting his hand on Mark's shoulder. 

Mark pulled away from Seven and nodded, so Chakotay hit his commbadge.  "Chakotay to Delta Flyer."

_Go ahead, said Tom. _

"We've got them.  Eight to beam up." 

They dematerialized and reappeared in the rear of the Delta Flyer.  B'Elanna and Ensign Porter went to the front to tell Tom and Harry to get them out of there, and Chakotay turned to Kathryn beside him.  "Let's have the Doc take a look at you."

She shook her head, but it was obvious that she was having trouble concentrating.  "I'm fine.  Seven needs…" Her voice trailed off and she swayed on her feet for a few seconds before her legs gave out from under her and she collapsed limply into his arms as he moved to her side.  

He put his arms under her knees and carried her over to one of the benches, setting her down gently.  "Doctor?"

The Doctor grabbed the equipment he needed and treated her cerebral hemorrhaging.  She came to again just as he was giving her a final once over with his tricorder.

"What…" she mumbled groggily as her eyes focused.

"You blacked out, Kathryn," Chakotay told her, reaching over to take her hand.  "It's okay."

"Good as new," pronounced the Doctor.  "It's good to have you back, Captain." 

She managed a small smile.  "Believe me, it's good to be back, Doctor." 

Chakotay frowned -- he could tell by the strain in her voice that she had been through a lot in the time that she had been held prisoner by Section 31.  He had an inkling of what had been going on from what they had overheard of her conversation with Admiral Blackwell.  He had heard him threaten Voyager's Maquis, and he suspected that it was not an isolated threat. 

The Doctor gave Icheb a quick examination and pronounced him to be in good health.  Mark helped Seven over to the biobed as the Doctor pulled it out from the wall, and they helped her to lay down on it.  Chakotay watched them for a few seconds before he was sure their attention was elsewhere.  Turning back to Kathryn, he took her hand and looked her in the eye. 

"Kathryn…do you want to talk about it?" 

She sighed.  "Admiral Blackwell was convinced that we had formed an alliance with the Borg.  He tried to get me to confess to it." 

"What did he want with Seven and Icheb?" 

"He referred to them as an 'intelligence find'.  I think he was trying to develop some kind of biological weapon to use on the Collective." 

"Did he hurt you?" he asked, reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair behind her ear. 

She avoided his gaze and looked down at the floor.  "Not exactly," she said quietly.  After a few seconds, she looked up again.  "I'd rather not talk about it right now, but…maybe later, at home…"

They were silent for a few moments before she spoke again. 

"What I don't understand…is _why…why me?  Why Voyager?  What made him think we were helping the Borg to assimilate Earth?" _

He sat beside her and put a hand on her knee.  "We may never know…but you're safe now." 

She smiled and put her head on his shoulder.  "I know."

*    *    *

Kathryn held her coffee cup between her hands, feeling what little warmth was left seeping into her hands. 

The coffee was cold now, but she barely noticed.  For once, she wasn't interested in drinking it as she stared out the window at the San Francisco skyline.  It was early in the morning – the horizon was a pale pink and the sun hadn't risen yet.  Unable to sleep, she had been up for hours staring out the window. 

She had spoken with Admiral Paris last night.  He said that everyone at Starfleet Command had been horrified by the actions of Section 31.  She had been disappointed to learn that when Starfleet had sent a security team to the building where she had been rescued, they had found it deserted.  Neither Admiral Blackwell nor Lieutenant Statler had been found, and Admiral Paris was of the opinion that they wouldn't be. 

Owen had given her a clue to Admiral Blackwell's irrational accusations and behavior.  Apparently, his two sons and their families had all been killed by the Borg at Wolf 359.  Ever since then, Admiral Paris informed her, he had been one of the strongest advocates for an offensive against the Borg, almost to the point of obsession.  He had been linked with Section 31 since almost immediately after the massacre at Wolf 359.  It was believed now that he had become further unbalanced by the general paranoia during the Dominion war and the infiltration of Earth by changelings.  The final straw, though, had been learning that Voyager had entered into a temporary alliance with the Borg and had Borg crewmen on board.  He had followed their actions closely and had probably been responsible for denying Voyager permission to enter the Kesseret wormhole.  When they had returned anyways, he had decided to kidnap the Captain, Seven and Icheb with help from Section 31. 

Kathryn was startled out of her train of thought when she heard a noise behind her, but she didn't need to turn around to see who it was. 

"Couldn't sleep?" asked Chakotay as he came up behind her. 

"No," she said quietly. 

He moved closer to her and put his arms around her, holding up a flat wrapped package.  "Happy Birthday." 

Her mouth opened in surprise.  "Oh, I…I had completely forgotten.  I guess I lost track of time." 

She slowly pulled the paper of the flat object to reveal a brass plate.  She turned it over slowly to reveal the dedication plaque from Voyager.  She gasped and ran her fingers slowly over the raised inscription. 

"How did you get this?" she whispered as her fingers ran over the worn edges of the plate, scars from their many battles in the Delta quadrant. 

He rested his chin on her shoulder.  "It's tradition to present the Captain with the dedication plaque when a ship is decommissioned." 

"But Admiral Paris said they were turning it into a museum," she said quietly. 

"I convinced him that nobody would notice if the dedication plaque was a replica.  He agreed with me that you deserved to have the original." 

"Thank you," she whispered emotionally.  "It…this means a lot to me." 

"I know.  Happy Birthday, Kathryn." 

They were silent for a few moments as she continued to examine the plaque. 

"Where should we put this?" she finally asked, holding it up in front of her. 

He reached around and took it from her, moving over to a shelf on the wall next to the window.  There was a collection of holo-images on the shelf – Kathryn with her Irish Setter Molly before Voyager was thrown into the Delta quadrant, a picture of the senior staff, a family photo of Tom, B'Elanna, and Miral, and a few other images of the crew.  There was also one of Kathryn and Chakotay on the parade grounds of Starfleet the day Voyager had returned to Earth.  Chakotay moved a few of the frames aside and set the dedication plaque behind them, with the photo of the crew on one side of it and the image of them on the other. 

"How's this?" 

"Perfect," she said quietly. 

He walked over to where she was still standing in front of the window and put his arms around her again.  She smiled and looked back out the window, lost in thought. 

Chakotay frowned and tightened his grip around her waist.  "You haven't said much since we got you out of there.  Do you want to talk about it?" 

She took a deep shaky breath and looked down at his hands around her waist, putting one of hers on top of his.  "They ran…some kind of simulations, I guess.  I would find myself in the past, on Voyager.  During our first battle with Species 8472, Operation Fort Knox, Unimatrix Zero, other encounters with the Borg.  They were incredibly real…except I would always have the feeling that something wasn't right." 

"Like what?" 

"You," she said with a smile.  "I always had the feeling that…it's hard to explain.  I just knew that it wasn't right somehow.  That you weren't Chakotay." 

"But it still felt real?" 

"Oh, yes," she said quietly.  "We were fighting the Borg, still stuck out in the Delta quadrant…I watched you get assimilated." 

He didn't say anything for a few seconds as he took that in.  "Kathryn…that must have been awful." 

She squeezed her eyes shut.  "When I realized that none of it was real…I've never felt that relieved in my life." 

He pulled her closer to him and kissed her lightly on the cheek.  They stood like that for a few minutes before he brought up something that had been on his mind. 

"Kathryn, there's something I've been meaning to ask you about." 

"What's that?" she asked. 

He took a deep breath.  "Just before we rescued you, we heard you arguing with Admiral Blackwell.  You mentioned the officers you lost when the Caretaker's array brought Voyager to the Delta quadrant and you said that he had set the whole chain of events in motion.  What did you mean by that?" 

She sighed.  She had hoped that he wouldn't ask.  "I'd…rather not talk about it." 

"Any particular reason?" 

"It's…it's complicated.  Let's just say it's something I wish I didn't know." 

"You don't have to spare me, if that's what you're thinking.  Whatever it is, I'll help you deal with it." 

She turned around slowly and scrutinized his face carefully.  "Are you sure you want to know?" 

He nodded.  "Tell me what's got you so upset." 

She took a deep breath and walked over to the window again before she turned around and faced him.  "Do you remember the Romulan we encountered through the temporal wormhole?" 

"Telek.  We hoped he would send messages for us, but he never did." 

"No," she said quietly.  "He didn't…but he did talk to Section 31." 

That surprised him.  "What?" 

"Admiral Blackwell said Telek was interrogated by Section 31 in 2365.  He revealed that Voyager would be thrown into the Delta quadrant if we were sent to the badlands." 

She watched him as he absorbed the meaning of her words.  "You mean…they knew what would happen."

She nodded.  "I couldn't believe it either.  Apparently, Section 31 decided that it would be to their advantage to have a ship in the heart of Borg territory, so they let us go on our mission to the badlands.  They let us get stranded, they let my crew die…" her voice broke and she was unable to continue. 

Chakotay managed to find his voice after a few seconds.  "Kathryn, I…I'm sorry." 

"So am I," she said quietly. 

He moved over to where she was standing and took her in his arms.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and returned the embrace.  After a minute, he pulled away and put his hands on either side of her face.  He brushed away a tear that rolled down her cheek with his thumb. 

"Are you going to tell the crew?" 

"No," she said.  "They've been through enough without having to deal with the fact that somebody at Starfleet knew and did nothing." 

She pulled away from him and looked out the window. 

"Seven years," she whispered.  "It could have been prevented." 

He looked at her carefully and thought for a minute before he responded.  "Kathryn…we may have lost some people, but think of everything we've gained.  We've charted a huge expanse of the Delta quadrant that was previously unexplored.  We made dozens of allies, encountered hundreds of new species.  You've had more contact with the Borg than any Captain in Starfleet.  The new technology we've gathered and the data we've collected will keep their engineers busy for the next decade." 

"Apparently that was the idea," she said quietly. 

He tried another tactic.  "What about Seven?  If it wasn't for you, she would still be a drone.  Not to mention Icheb, Mezoti, Azan, Rebi…they all have a chance at a life thanks to you.  Tom and B'Elanna got married.  We rescued the crew of the Yukon."  He stepped closer to her.  "And don't forget we would never have met if you hadn't been sent to the badlands to arrest me.  You have to look at the bad as well as the good.  We may have been separated from our families, from our homes…but we've spent the past seven years serving under a Captain who united a divided crew, who made us believe in ourselves, and who never stopped believing that we would see Earth again.  And she was right."  He stepped even closer to her and reached over to take her hand.  "I don't know about you, but I wouldn't give up the past seven years for anything." 

She stared at him for a long time before she responded.  "Neither would I," she said quietly after a minute, putting her hand on his chest.  "Despite everything…or maybe because of it…those were the best seven years of my life.  The truth is…if I could change it…make it so we had never been thrown into the Delta quadrant…I don't think I could bring myself to do it." 

He smiled and led her over to the window, standing behind her with his arms around her as they watched the sunrise. 

"What am I going to do now?" she said quietly after a few minutes. 

"Hmm?" he said, startled out of his thoughts. 

"Where do I go from here?" 

"What do you mean?" he asked, leaning his head forward so he could see her face. 

"For seven years I've put all my energy, my life, into getting my crew home…now what am I going to do?"

"You'll figure something out.  We'll figure something out." 

She chuckled.  "Just sit back and wait for something to come to me?" 

"In a nutshell." 

She sighed and was silent for a few minutes.  "I wonder what they're doing right now."

"Who?" 

"Everyone -- Tom and B'Elanna.  Harry.  Neelix.  Tuvok.  Seven and Mark.  Icheb.  The Doctor.  It seems so strange not knowing where they are, what they're doing."

"We'll still see them," he said.  "We're having dinner at Tom and B'Elanna's next week." 

"It's not the same," she sighed. "As much as I always wanted to get the crew home, the past few years…" She took a deep breath and moved closer to him.  "The longer we were out there, the more I realized what I would lose when we got home." 

"You haven't lost them, Kathryn." 

"They're my family," she said quietly. 

"I know.  They still are.  You haven't lost anybody…especially me." 

She finally smiled.  "I know." 

He wrapped his arms tighter around her, and they stood together, watching the sun climb over the horizon that for so long had seemed nearly unattainable…and was now just a glance away. 

(Yes, believe it or not, there's more…there is now an EPILOGUE.)


End file.
